Reflections From the Heart

May 27, 2023 · 3:00 PM

Celebrating Mama’s Life. . .

^{Creative Director – Charlie Duggar}
^{featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright”
Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare”
Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama”
Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord”
Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”}

I had to say goodbye to Mama.
On Mother’s Day.
The Lord called her home at 3 pm.

In my heart of hearts, I believe Mama received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. No more pain, no more suffering. She now rejoices with her Saviour and with all the loved ones who have gone on before her. As Christians, this is our Blessed Hope! And I will see her again.

It’s true: “We cannot think our way out of grief. We must feel our way out of grief.”

So when I said goodbye to Mama, the sadness of losing her hit me deeply. It snatched my breath away. I felt a pain rip through my chest. This grief is heavy and if it didn’t come in waves, I’d be consumed. A mother and daughter’s relationship is complex, and lines of communication can be difficult. We worked on doing better as time went by. And in the end, when she couldn’t speak, she’d gaze upon me, and her loving eyes spoke volumes. She fought the good fight! Her last breath on earth became her first breath in heaven.

So Mama, I want to express again: Thank you for praying for me when words escaped you.

Because of you, I found the strength I never knew I had; I learn to be resilient.

Because of you, I have found that when I can’t, God can! And He has. And He continues to do.

I want to thank you for giving me life, although the journey was anything but easy.

I’m grateful that because of you, this caterpillar turned into a butterfly, and in the strength of the Lord I learned to spread my wings over circumstances, over difficulties, and over the struggles of life.

One thing I know – and have always known – you loved me and I loved you
Just the way you described me, Mama, I will always be your little girl.

Farewell for now.
Your heart still beats. It beats within me.
Love won.
And. You. Were. Loved

Click here >>> On Borrowed Time <<< Click here
My blog on 10/2022

John 14:1-4 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. ²In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you. ³And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again and will take you to Myself, so that where I am, there you also will be. ⁴And you know the way where I am going.”

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Filed under Mama's Celebration of Life, Mother's Day

Tagged as Blessed Hope, death, emotions, grieving, heartbreak, heaven, John 14:1-4, Latina, Mama, mourning, personal, sorrow

May 14, 2023 · 10:30 AM

Mother’s Day in Heaven: 10/10/34 – 5/14/2023

Her heart still beats!

Because Of You

“¿Por que tu lloras?” He asked. “Why do you cry?”

How can I not?! I am in my daddy’s arms!

Daddy, I cried because you were alert and present; you recognized me! Thank God that you did! I cried as I studied your charming face, watching the familiar spark dancing in your eyes. I cried in hearing the mirth in your voice close to my ears again. I cried as you embraced me in your arms, lovingly, tightly, just like when I was a little girl.

As I gaze upon you, I notice the years travel like a roadmap across your sweet face, and I observe the twinkle in your eyes growing dim as discomfort and pain take over. Your voice of mirth soon sounded a bit weaker, and I feel your grip grow feeble and noticed your hands soft, no longer solid, and callous from work. Sadness pierces my heart. Yet, time stood still. I am blessed, just by being in your arms again.

Daddy, I love you. So many years have passed. Oh, how I have missed you! I shall hold onto the memories and bring them back home with me, and shall cherish them forever!

I. Cried. Because. Of. You.

Click here to read an excerpt from Author Mary A. Pérez’s,
“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace”
https://maryaperez.com/2017/06/16/best-daddy-ever-my-hero-2/

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Filed under Dementia in Family

Tagged as dementia, elderly, Latinos, personal

February 26, 2023 · 12:49 AM

My Valentine Gal ❤️

So I made this Valentine charcuterie board just for Mama.

A cute basket was made by her great-granddaughter!

Happy Valentines y’all!

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Filed under Mama

Tagged as Charcuterie board, Family, making memories, Mama, Sweets, Valentine

December 29, 2022 · 5:59 PM

Mama

Have a Blessed & Happy New Year!!!!

“Live like there’s no tomorrow. Love like you’re on borrowed time. Always remember: It’s good to be alive.” ~ Jason Gray

2 Comments

Filed under Inspirational

Tagged as borrowed time, cancer survivor, elderly, Inspirational, Jason Gray, life, living, Mama, quote

October 10, 2022 · 5:08 PM

On Borrowed Time

How time flies.

We’ve been caring for Mama in our home for the past 3 years. After spending the holidays with us like she’d normally do, she never returned to her apartment. Hubby and I noticed how frail she had become and the realization hit us both that she was going to need more assistance than what she’d been getting living on her own.

We do what we have to.

Our adult daughter, who also lives with us, is a tremendous help and caregiver for Mom, as well. My husband and I work full-time. Even with care providers, the bath-nurses, and medical folk checking in on Mom on a weekly basis, my daughter fills in the gap and then some.

Last year, after her doctor’s visit and blood work results, Mom’s doctor ordered that she be admitted to the hospital. Her blood pressure and blood count were dangerously low! During the four nights there, she received two units of blood and an iron infusion before returning home, along with her energy and appetite back! A year later, in August, it happened again – she was hospitalized and released. Soon after, I got medical POA, so when the repeated episode occurred a month later, this time, thankfully, Mom agreed to have an endoscopy procedure instead of coming home.

She had a mass in her stomach.

The dreaded cancer.

We cried, reminisced, and prayed.

Dr. Solomon would be Mom’s surgeon. We prayed non-stop for this physician and witnessed how he used wisdom in dealing with Mom’s delicate procedure beforehand. We placed our trust in him, knowing that the God we served–the Great Physician–was in control.

On the day of surgery, my husband, and children joined me. As they wheeled her off to surgery, I could see flecks of fear swimming in her eyes. I hoped she found strength in mine, howbeit my heart was heavy. You see, I became that little girl again. And I cried out to her, “Momma, come back to me!”

We waited in the waiting area for half a day, even when her surgery was over and she was in Post-Opt room. The good news, cancer did not seem to have spread to any other area in her body. However, they removed 80% of her stomach.

Mama remained in ICU for a couple of days and then moved to a private room. I remained with her spending the night as much as I could, giving her my love and support every chance. We have always had a complex relationship–she and I–but no matter what, she is still my mama and I will always be her little girl. ( To read more of my journey, click here… )

Today is Mama’s 88th birthday. Yesterday, Sunday, the family joined us to celebrate her life, surrounding her with our love and prayers. We wore matching T-shirts to honor her. I wanted her to feel our love and let her know how special she is. She is the matriarch of the family.

Today, Mom is being moved to Rehab for a few weeks for therapy and to become stronger. We continue to wait for the final pathology report, trusting the Lord will complete the work He has started in her; she is in His hands.

Life is fleeting. Let go of the petty things. Treasure your loved ones while they are still around.

I am comforted in knowing that when I am weak then my God is strong, and His grace is sufficient for me! Thank you, Lord, that your mercies are new every morning. Thank you, Lord, for another day.

8 Comments

Filed under gastric surgery, Personal

Tagged as cancer, Dr. Brett Solomon, Family, gastric surgery, inspiration, mom, Musing, personal, Prayer, the Great Physician

September 4, 2022 · 1:50 PM

This Thing Called Tears – Part II

Have your emotions ever run amuck? Without warning or preparation, it hits you between the eyes (or as in my case, the tear gland).

Allow me to share some recent experiences with you.

A friend of mine shared a music video with me and I turned it up to listen as I drove home. I was reminded of the goodness of the Lord. It wasn’t about me, it was all about Him. The next thing I knew, my heart was elated and I couldn’t help but rejoice in the God whom I serve! I was able to focus on the Lord in Who He is, and all He has done in my life. My spirit was lifted; my heart lightened. What a refreshing moment!

“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Well, last week was a bit rough for me in a technical sense. I am not very tech savvy, but my internet was acting up which affected my phone line and prevented me from doing my job satisfactorily – until it was finally fixed; which wasn’t soon enough for my taste! The frustrations built from within, and I felt defeated. Once I left the office, the damn had burst. I cried. And prayed.

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.” (Psalms 56:8)

The other day when I arrived home from work, my husband told me to check out the progress of the repairs he’d been doing in the front room. I went in there, looked around, and yep, you guessed it, started crying! I was pleasantly surprised because, after so much construction mess, I could finally see the light. I saw how it was going to look once painted! My heart was filled with gratitude and thanksgiving. Yes, I had a moment! I stayed there a while. The funny thing is when I went to my husband, he looked at me and immediately was concerned asking what was wrong, what had happened. My daughter also saw me and jumped up, thinking something had happened! But these were tears of joy … and it all sprung up and surprised me as well.

There’s a time and season for everything. In the good, praise God! In the bad when things are rough, praise God!

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

Please check out my first blog about tears: https://maryaperez.com/2013/10/17/this-thing-called-tears/

And who can forget this timeless song below by The Byrds?

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Filed under emotions

Tagged as Bible verses, encouragement, personal, Psm 56:8, tears, The Byrds: Turn! Turn! Turn!, weeping

April 6, 2022 · 1:38 PM

He Completes Me

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

He is the one for me. He is the man who has stuck by my side since day one as my loving confidant, helpmate, and best friend. He is the man who loves me, cherishes me, and tells me that I am beautiful. He loves me on my best days and he loves me on my worse days. He knows my past and has never belittled me or made me feel inadequate. He is faithful, a man true to his word. I can count on his constant love and remain secure in his arms. He praises me for my accomplishments and encourages me in my failures. When I’m happy, his warm laughter melts my heart. When I’m sad or fearful, his gentle touch wipes away my tears.

I love you, my husband. And I am proud to be your wife. I am truly grateful to the Lord for joining us together to share the remainder of our days. As we celebrate our twenty-eighth wedding anniversary, may our constant love nourish and sustain each other until the end of time.

You can read about him in Chapter 42 of my book: “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace”

6 Comments

Filed under Anniversary celebration, Marriage

Tagged as faithfulness, God, helpmate, marriage, personal, Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace, wedding anniversary

February 19, 2022 · 12:52 PM

Reflecting

So, I’ve been away from posting any new materials of late. One of the reasons is that I have been quite busy in my spare time, trying to translate my memoir chapters into Spanish. One of the hardest and most tedious tasks for me thus far. I couldn’t do it without the help and reliance upon others. Initially, I sought the ‘professionals’ and their prices were sky-high, too rich for my blood. My reality check. I then requested help from family and friends, and even after telling me yes, are too busy and couldn’t commit.

Well, my son’s new girl in his life dove right in and is taking on the task. And recently, wouldn’t you know it, I have another friend and her mother looking over the chapters. I am far from finished and know that I will have to find professional editing afterward. But I am up to the challenge.

So many sentences, chapters, and conversations across every page of my memoir come alive and I find myself reliving almost every word. I find myself touched and tears roll down my face. You see, it hits me – I’ve survived so much! Indeed, God has been good to me; a constant steadfastness in my unstabled life. God is the God of miracles.

“¡Respondeme!” Me dio una bofetada de revés.
Vi estrellas.

The above quote is just a tiny picture of what once was … I will retell my story so that others may know hope, and about the God of second chances and new beginnings. If He can do it for me, He can certainly do it for you!

“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace” (PAPERBACK)
(in AUDIO)

I also have another future writing project that will share the stories of other survivors.

Pray for me. And stay tuned.

Thanksgiving – 2021

Retrospecting can be a good thing. Last year, on Thanksgiving Day, I remember feeling sad and a bit irritated. The reason: we were not having our regular holiday family gathering due to the Covid Pandemic restrictions. My emotions floundered all over the place. I did my best to focus on the positive. I even wrote this message to my family and friends:

If I am to be honest, I’ve been bummed out for a couple of days, knowing I would be missing our traditional, family Thanksgiving Day celebration in our home, which has always filled my heart with so much joy. Instead, I must choose to focus on what I have and count my blessings, giving God thanks and glory for all in my life!

Even on my worst days, He loves me! I have known Him in the valley, I have known Him on the mountaintops. While I love being on the mountaintops, it was trudging in the valleys where I grew closest to my Lord, and where I learned that the God on the mountain is still God in the valleys.

I am thankful He has given me health, provision, shelter, a loving husband, a beautiful family, and wonderful friends – He has made many dreams come to fruition.

I am a work in progress. Thank you, Lord, for not having given up on me, and I know You’re not finished with any of us yet.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!

“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess 5:18

Jump over to the present:

I am happy to report that this Thanksgiving Holiday, the day turned out to be special in so many ways. Yes, I am truly grateful for my loved ones. You see, while we celebrated the holiday with prayer, food, and fellowship, I glanced around the table, caressing my eyes over each face representing my family. And I realized: Mary, you’re not alone anymore. You see, as a kid growing up, I once felt alone and rejected. Matter of fact, I felt insignificant, always on the outside looking in. I had many insecurities and felt much like second-class. It wouldn’t be until many years later in my adulthood, that I experienced inner healing and received a breakthrough in my personal life. So much so, I put my story to pen and paper and published my book, “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace.”

We did something different this year, thanks to my youngest daughter’s prompting. We each held a strip of paper of questions we took turns reading out loud and then answering. This was epic because the questions caused most of us to dig deep and open up with heartfelt answers.

As I listened to the different ones share, I felt my heart would burst with gratitude in hearing my children speak over me. I wasn’t prepared for this raw reaction, nor was I prepared for what I would say when my turn came. I found that I was able to share my heart with thankfulness and humility. I blessed each of my children and grandchildren and expressed to them what I appreciated about them. I blessed my husband for being the man that he was and, again, for accepting somebody else’s children by stepping up to the plate another man left on the table. And finally, I turned to my mom and expressed my undying love for her, no matter though our relationship is a complex one. I also asked her forgiveness for getting short with her, and I assured her that I will always be her little girl.

We are all flawed. But we can rise above stinking-thinking and look beyond ourselves. Take a look at others, really see them, and love on them. I thank the Lord for making all things new – His mercies are new every morning!

Thanksgiving 2021
“Family is the best thing you can ever wish for. They are there for you during the ups and downs and love you no matter what.”
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.”
“The best time for new beginnings is now. Thank you Lord, for new beginnings.”
“Let’s be thankful together. Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.”
“So, there is this boy he kinda stole my heart- he calls me ‘Mimi.'”
“Granddaughters are angels sent from above to fill our hearts with never ending love.”
“Always remember whose daughter you are. Stand tall and straighten your crown.”
“Happy Birthday to my beautiful eldest daughter, more like a sister to me.”
“Thank you, Lord, for Your bountiful blessings.”