Tag Archives: Mama

May 7, 2024 · 10:38 PM

Dear Mama,

My heart is heavy thinking about you today. It doesn’t seem possible that it’s been a year since you’ve been gone. One of the hardest things was letting go and relinquishing you in God’s hands. He took you home on Mother’s Day around 3 pm. I believe you received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. It was difficult to see you in pain, a prisoner in your own body laid up in that bed. I never gave up on you, Mama! But I had to let you go. You had suffered enough.

In the end, friends and family came together for a celebration of life in honor of you. I’m sure the Lord allowed you a glimpse over this side of heaven, to see your beautiful flowers and hear the music selection. I know you would have been pleased and touched by what was said on your behalf. You were loved. And you are sorely missed.

I think about you often, especially during the holidays. You were always a vital part of our household, sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by family, chatter, and participating in delicious home-cooked meals. I think about you whenever I cook one of your favorites. I’m glad I can look back at some photos and see you grinning with your plate full! I loved to make you smile. Whenever I saw a pretty blouse or piece of jewelry to buy for you, I knew that this pleased you. Even bringing you a banana split or a vanilla shake did the trick.

Reflecting back, my heart is also heavy for the times I grew impatient with you. I had tried to express how sorry I was for any harsh words spoken out of frustration between us. I’m grateful that our God is merciful, and His grace covers us. We were far from being the perfect mother-and-daughter role model; our words weren’t always laced with honey, but we were quick to forgive each other. After all, you were my Mama, and I remained your little girl.

You know you went with us to Miami. I took some of your remains and scattered them alongside Grandma & Grandpa, and my baby sister we lost so long ago. You always wanted to be near them. I know this was more healing for my benefit, but I wanted you to know I hadn’t forgotten.

Oh, Mama, you have a precious great-great-granddaughter now! You would be tickled-pink and all over her! She was born three months after your passing, two days before my birthday.

Mama. You. Were. Right. You can have ten fathers but only one mother! Mother’s Day is around the corner. I still imagine you sitting at the dinner table across from me. But your chair is empty. You are gone but will remain in our hearts until we meet again.

I hope you know, you are loved beyond words. Missed beyond measure.

With all my love, your little girl.

I also took Mama to Puerto Rico with me …

Philippians 1:3 “I thank my God every time I remember you.”

Filed under Mama

Tagged as forgiveness, God's grace, Mama, mercy, mother-daughter relationships, Mothers Day, Musing, personal, reflection, role model

February 14, 2024 · 12:28 PM

Mama: My Valentine Gal in Heaven

Loved beyond words. Missed beyond measure.

3 Comments

Filed under Valentine Mama

Tagged as Mama, Missing Mama, Musing, Valentine

September 23, 2023 · 9:11 AM

Sept 23, 1968: It is a day of celebration. We are with our beloved maternal grandma. The little girl (me) happily stands near her beautiful baby sister who carries an infectious smile. We are celebrating my sister’s two-year-old birthday.

Oct. 22, 1968: One month later, it is a day of mourning. We are devastated, and heartbroken about the precious life taken much too soon by a hit-and-run driver. With her sister gone, the little girl feels more lonely than ever before. Mama felt lost and never the same.

Present Year 2023: This past Mother’s Day at 3 p.m., Mama changed addresses. In August, we took some of Mama’s remains and placed them near her daughter, my baby sister. Both are with their Savior now and no longer are suffering. We shall see our loved ones again one day. For now, we are left with their memories and the ‘should-of, could-of, would-of.’

Ecclesiastes 12:7

“Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God who gave it.”

John 14:1-4

“Let not your heart be troubled;

you believe in God, believe also in Me.

In My Father’s house are many mansions;

if it were not so, I would have told you.

I go to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you,

I will come again and receive you to Myself;

that where I am, there you may be also.

And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace by Mary A. Pérez

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Filed under Life & Death

Tagged as baby sister, celebration, Ecclesiastes 12:7, grieving, heartfelt, heaven, John 14, Life & Death, Mama, Mother, mourning, personal

August 21, 2023 · 10:26 PM

Full Circle

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison

She was weak, frail, with no appetite. I prayed that Mama would make it to Mother’s Day and she did, leaving us at 3 pm on that very day! I believe she truly received the best gift possible: no more pain or discomfort left worrying about anything or anyone else.

I had told her that I would and I did. Three months had passed. With my immediate family, I took some of Mama’s remains to bury alongside her parents (my grandparents), and my baby sister who tragically was struck down by a hit-and-run driver at the tender age of two, some 55 years ago.

Everyone expresses life and death differently. What we did we felt was another way to honor Mama and her memory. I know that Mama is in heaven, and not in a shallow grave. You see, doing this was more about healing for us. We are at peace knowing we did something to honor her life. Through it all—and there were many bumps in the road—Mama was loved and she is now with her Savior. In the end: Love. Won!

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

John 14:1-4

Here is a snapshot of what this looked like:

Click “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez
to purchase through Amazon

4 Comments

Filed under grieving, Memorial

Tagged as Family, gravesite, grieving, John 14:1-4, Mama, memoir, Memorial, personal, Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace, Vicki Harrison

July 24, 2023 · 9:19 PM

Missing my Mama

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Jaime Anderson

Missing you, Mama.

Celebrating Mama’s Life. . .

^{Creative Director – Charlie Duggar}
^{featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright”
Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare”
Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama”
Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord”
Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”}

I had to say goodbye to Mama.
On Mother’s Day.
The Lord called her home at 3 pm.

In my heart of hearts, I believe she received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. No more pain, no more suffering, and now she rejoices with her Saviour and all the loved ones who have gone on before her. As Christians, that’s our Blessed Hope! And I will see her again.

It’s true: “We cannot think our way out of grief. We must feel our way out of grief.”

So when I said goodbye to Mama, the sadness of losing her hit me deeply. It snatched my breath away. I felt a pain rip through my chest. This grief is heavy and if it didn’t come in waves, I’d be consumed. A mother and daughter’s relationship is complex, and lines of communication can be difficult. We worked on doing better as time went by. And in the end, when she couldn’t speak, she’d gaze upon me, and her loving eyes spoke volumes. She fought the good fight! Her last breath on earth became her first breath in heaven.

So Mama, I want to express again: Thank you for praying for me when words escaped you.

Because of you, I found the strength I never knew I had; I learned to be resilient.

Because of you, I have found that when I can’t, God can! And He has. And He continues to do so.

I want to thank you for giving me life, although the journey was anything but easy.

I’m grateful that because of you, this caterpillar turned into a butterfly and in the strength of the Lord I learned to spread my wings over circumstances, over difficulties, and over the struggles of life.

One thing I know – and have always known – you loved me and I loved you! Just the way you described me, Mama, I will always be your little girl.

Farewell for now.

Your heart still beats. It beats within me.

Love won.

And. You. Were. Loved.

Click here >>> On Borrowed Time <<< Click here
~ My blog on 10/2022 ~

6 Comments

Filed under Mama's Celebration of Life, Mother's Day

Tagged as Blessed Hope, death, emotions, grieving, heartbreak, heaven, John 14:1-4, Latina, Mama, mourning, personal, sorrow

February 26, 2023 · 12:49 AM

My Valentine Gal ❤️

So I made this Valentine charcuterie board just for Mama.

A cute basket was made by her great-granddaughter!

Happy Valentines y’all!

Side Note: No, Mama did not eat all of these sugary sweets; the majority given away. It was a colorful and sweet gesture that she enjoyed looking over – and pink is her favorite color. LOL

5 Comments

Filed under Mama

Tagged as Charcuterie board, Family, making memories, Mama, Sweets, Valentine

December 29, 2022 · 5:59 PM

Mama

Have a Blessed & Happy New Year!!!!

“Live like there’s no tomorrow. Love like you’re on borrowed time. Always remember: It’s good to be alive.” ~ Jason Gray

2 Comments

Filed under Inspirational

Tagged as borrowed time, cancer survivor, elderly, Inspirational, Jason Gray, life, living, Mama, quote

May 9, 2017 · 6:00 PM

Confession of a Daughter

I still get jealous.

I confess.

After all this time, it pains me to admit this, but it’s true. Whenever I hear others express the close bond that they have with their mothers, I marvel at how grand that must be!

And it stings.

Mama used to say: “You can have ten fathers but only one mother.”

I heard that line growing up and believed it. After my parents divorced, I had three different step-dads. In my young state of mind, I didn’t want to share my mama — she wasn’t married to any of them. I wanted us to be by ourselves. But Mama was too busy for me. I’m sure she did the best she could, but nurturing wasn’t in her DNA. Left on my own a great deal, I was a neglected child.

Loneliness was my middle name.

At age nine, once we moved to Florida, my grandma was more like a mother to me. I knew then what a mother’s love felt like and it just wasn’t the same as Mama’s. Not long after my daddy remarried, during visitations, my stepmother loved and welcomed me with open arms. I felt special in her eyes. With Mama, sometimes I felt she didn’t even see me because she was so preoccupied. As I became older, bitterness festered and I wasn’t necessarily a role model teenager either. I just couldn’t wait to leave home and do better than Mama, in search of love. I fell flat on my face. But I learned some things.

I learned Mama was a prisoner in her own mind, but she did the best she knew to do. She felt I was always mature for my age, never realizing how much I needed her. I haven’t stopped loving Mama. I loved her then and I certainly love her now. But because I had no choice but to grow up too fast, our roles have always felt reversed. Most of the time, I felt like I was the mother.

The miles separate, the years have passed, and Mama and I both have since aged. I can look back and forgive my past; it has made me who I am today. I’ve had to learn to forgive Mama a hundred times over, whose harshness and demeanor become more passive and feeble with time. I must show her kindness and love. No, she’s not perfect, but neither am I.

Today, I am someone’s mother and grandmother, a.k.a. Mimi. I pray that my own loved ones will always feel my love, even when we don’t agree.

No matter what.

It takes work. Patience. Prayer.

And much forgiveness.

As for Mama and I: Our communication skills remain much to be desired. I’ll keep working on it.

Mother’s Day is around the corner. It has always been so complicated for me in choosing the right Mother’s Day card. Once again, I find myself putting the cards back on the shelf in search of the one that describes Mama perfectly.

I think I’ll continue to write one for her myself: 14572937_10211331684595701_5234886440039336664_n

To my one and only Mama.

I loved you then.

I love you now.

No matter what.

Love always, still your little girl.

11 Comments

Filed under Mother's Day, Mother/Daughter

Tagged as forgiveness, Mama, Mothers Day, Musing, patience, personal, personal growth, Prayer, Relationships

October 14, 2014 · 8:27 PM

Forever Mama

As I mentioned in a previous post, Mama’s and my relationship and communication skills are a work in progress. This is good because we are so much better than once before. You see, I missed out on doing the normal mother-and-daughter things with her when I was a child. But as an adult, I am blessed because I get to do some things for her she never could for me. That’s not necessarily a bad deal. I feel fortunate enough to know that there is enough stability in my life, although it hasn’t always been this way.

I enjoy being able to take Mama out to dinner and a movie on occasion because these simple outings mean a great deal to her. I remember taking her to her first musical about a couple of years ago to see “Annie.” I knew there would be a lot of walking; therefore I insisted that we bring a wheelchair (instead of her walker). In more ways than one, that turned out to be a smart move. We were given great seats, close to the stage. As I watched those talented girls performing in the musical along with Annie, I commented to Mama on which were my favorites. But Mama’s interest centered on one thing. And one thing only. On Sandy the dog. “What a smart dog!” she’d say. “Isn’t that dog smart?” she’d ask. “Well, yes, but look at the little girl, the youngest one there,” I pointed out. “Isn’t she something?” “Yeah, but can’t you see how animals are so smart?” she squealed. “Oooh, I want to take him home with me!”

Okay, so Mama and I don’t always see eye to eye or agree on everything. What may mean a big deal to me won’t necessarily be to her, and what may seem mundane to me isn’t to her, but we are working on that communication thing, along with some understanding. We really are!

Just a few days ago, we celebrated Mama’s 80th birthday. Family and friends surrounded her with their presence, delicious food (at a Cuban restaurant), and birthday cake, and showered her with several cards and gifts. She seemed more comfortable in having pictures taken. I am glad she is still a part of my life. I am glad she will forever be my mama!

Please visit She’s My Mama – posted last year.