Tag Archives: friendship

March 5, 2024 · 7:21 AM

Susie

While Donny was still in the VA Hospital for alcohol abuse, a wonderful family of five frequently invited the children and me to their home. Susan and I knew each other from church. She had such a bubbly personality, and I was immediately drawn to her. Her husband Fred, born and raised in Germany—had a dry sense of humor but made me feel comfortable. After Donny completed treatment, they invited us over for dinner. Our husbands got to finally meet. We shared a delicious meal at the dinner table and the men engaged in small talk, while I marveled in silence, taking it all in.

My husband back then, the pursuer, continually sought after Fred’s company, offering his help with any home repairs and carpentry projects. Those two quickly hit it off and talked among themselves freely. They spent most weekends on Fred’s aluminum boat fishing or hanging out at his lake house. They knew the struggles of alcohol and often shared stories about the victories and failures during their alone time. They discussed work, God, and family matters. Sometimes they simply shared a comfortable silence. Their understanding and respect for each other grew.

Friendships blossomed.

Bonds strengthened.

We wives were pleased. Susan and I often shared laughter mingled with tears as we prayed for our husbands, our children, and our community. We shared a common goal: We wanted so much more unity in our home. We celebrated as our families shared meals, barbecues, beach outings, and church activities. Just like family.

Excerpt from “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace,” Chapter 37

Years later, Susan was there for me during abandonment and a painful but necessary divorce. Eventually, I picked up the pieces of my life and found renewed love with Mark, who soon became my faithful husband – my second chance at love and happiness. As time went on, some 30 years later, Susan became sick. Her family asked me to prepare a eulogy for her on their behalf, something I had NEVER done before then. Here is that story: https://maryaperez.com/2015/12/23/so-long-for-now/

My Friend, My Sister ~ an Answered Prayer

Again, left alone, with no one to share my heart, I regretted that I never stayed in touch with old classmates or finished school. It’s what he wanted. Although I had advanced to the tenth grade, I never went back, relying solely on Donny’s moral and financial support. I regretted that, too.

I felt my prayers answered the day a neighbor knocked on our door. I recognized her immediately. At last, someone my own age to talk to.

Not much older than me, she was a friendly sort with deep-set, café con leche eyes, long espresso hair, and a tan complexion. She wore blue jeans and a T-shirt. The warmth of her smile cast away my shadows. Liz sold Avon. Even though I doubted I’d be able to buy any of her products, I welcomed her company.

With Donny engrossed in TV, she and I visited at the dining room table over coffee and slices of block cheddar cheese. We chatted about makeup and the latest perfume. After an hour, she dug deep when she peered into my eyes and asked, “Mary, do you know Jesus?”

“Well . . . I . . . I used to . . . as a kid,” I stuttered and hung my head.

She proceeded to remind me of God’s love, goodness, and grace.

Liz was my neighbor who soon became my sounding board and best friend. She made me laugh and forget my troubles. She made suggestions about hair and makeup. We went window-shopping at the malls, grocery shopping, and baked cakes together in her kitchen. Liz even introduced me to garage sale hunting on weekends. In the mornings, we started reading our Bibles over coffee at her place, after our husbands left for work and her older kids had trotted to school. Our pre-school girls were close in age and enjoyed playing with each other.

Donny never said too much around Liz. Fine by me. He once labeled her a “Jesus freak” and usually made himself scarce whenever she came around. Also fine by me.

Before long, I started sitting in on Bible studies Liz held with other couples in her apartment. When I attended her small church, I felt a sense of belonging and serenity I hadn’t known since living with my grandparents. As much as I longed to return to the God of my grandparents, I needed to overcome the stinking-thinking about myself. I never felt worthy enough; may as well have worn a sign over me that read: Deflated, Dejected and Discouraged.

After our devotions in the mornings, Liz led prayer. She prayed that I’d learn to “let go and let God.” I wasn’t sure how to “let go,” let alone move on. Then, before closing our devotions, she always asked what my prayer requests were.

“I can’t stand Jerry . . . he’s a moron,” I blurted one day. “When he’s around, Donny drinks more. Jerry and him go bar-hopping and get into fights with other drunken bozos.”

“What do you want God to do?” Liz asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe Jerry needs to take a long walk on a short pier or something.”

She smiled.

I felt foolish.

She then asked if I ever asked God to sever Donny and Jerry’s friendship. I never thought about praying that way. She said she believed we needed to be a family in the privacy of our home without negative interference from an outsider.

A woman of simple faith, Liz started praying for that specifically.

Weak in my faith, I hoped against hope.

One autumn day as the temperatures fell and the evenings grew chilly, Jerry wanted “female companionship.” He borrowed my Plymouth Duster, and drove more than a thousand miles, all the way from Houston to Denver, to get that companionship. Once there, he landed in jail and the police impounded my car. Weeks later, Donny paid someone in Denver to get my vehicle out of impound to drive it back home.

Coincidentally—or by divine intervention—we never heard from Jerry again.

{Except from Running In Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace, Chapter 23}

Side Note:

The day I located my friend Liz on FaceBook and contacted her, joy flooded my heart. She lives out of town and drove through after attending a conference; we reunited at a local diner. We played catch-up over a glass of iced tea. We talked about the present, and before long, reminisced about the past, some thirty-plus years ago.

“I never expected anyone to come to my apartment to try to sell me some Avon, let alone talk about Jesus.”

“Mary Ann, I had to come over,” Liz said, her eyes growing misty. “I used to hear you and Donny argue. Every time you two fought, I heard everything. I even used to hear him hit you … then to hear you crying.”

“I didn’t know that.” I glanced away and watched droplets of water slide silently down my glass, like my tears so long ago.

“Whenever I heard the fights,” Liz continued, “I would lay my hands on the walls and pray for you until my husband would tell me to get away from there and to mind my own business.”

I studied my friend from long ago. “Well, I’m so glad you made me your business. When I needed a friend, you were there.”

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Filed under Compassion, friendship

Tagged as alliance, bonding, Christianity, compassion, divine intervention, domestic abuse, Faith, friendship, girlfriend, Prayer, Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

February 12, 2021 · 4:53 AM

We Love You, Paul!

There are folks that come into your life and make such an impact, they remain forever imprinted in your heart. Paul was one of them. As I reflect on a memory of nearly a year ago, I wanted to share with my readers how one man made a difference to those who knew him. He was a godly man – a wonderful husband, father, grandpa, and friend. Although my husband and I had only known Paul a short while, he was one of the most endearing and God-loving individuals we had come to know, love and admire. His charm and wit were a breath of fresh air.

Last year, the ‘Andrew Sisters’ got to perform again for our church’s Sweetheart Banquet. Because of illness, Paul and his precious wife, Joyce, were unable to attend. So the Andrew Sisters went to them and performed “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” in their home. It not only brought a smile to Paul’s face but it lightened up our day as well, while we hammed it up and sang (or rather lip-synced) our hearts out!

Paul Daugherty, we honor you. You will forever be missed on this green earth. We looked forward to the Blessed Hope, of that great reunion one day in the heavenlies.

Click here to read about last year's performance The Andrew Sisters – Near You 1947

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Filed under Paying homage, reminiscence

Tagged as "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" 1941, friendship, memory, reminisce, The Andrew Sisters

September 22, 2019 · 1:40 PM

Spunky & Sassy at Sixty?

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Spunky, Sassy, even Sexy at Sixty?

Yes! And why not?

A long time ago, someone close to me tried to crush my spirit and conform me to his own image. My ex-husband ruled with an iron fist and belittled me. I was downtrodden for so many years. Thank God I didn’t remain that way!

I thank God for all that He has brought me out of and through! He never promised a bed of roses. Even after being pricked by thorns, there is healing.

You see, God made me to be ME! God has made you to be YOU! Yes, it’s true that He loves us just the way we are. But, I believe He loves us too much to leave us that way. He longs to perfect us to become our better selves.

For those of you who have read my story, “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace” (on Amazon), you know that 25 years ago, God brought me a wonderful and loving help mate; one who embraces my uniqueness and even my sometimes crazy self. I can be ME – the good, the bad, and the ugly! Don’t get it twisted, I do strive to be more of the “good.”

Once upon a time, I felt so lonely and neglected, but not anymore. I have a loving close-knit family – my children are all adults and each carries their own strengths and uniqueness. I am surrounded by positive, caring, and fun-loving friends who genuinely refresh my soul!

I don’t care who you are, no man is an island unto himself. We. Need. One. Another.

As I mature in age, may I learn to take things slowly and not count the moments, but make the moments count. Life is a gift and we are planted here on this earth for a purpose. Let’s learn to bloom where we are planted.

Some worthy quotes to remember:

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.
Age is a case of mind over matter.
We age not by years but by stories.
In youth we learn; in age, we understand.
Don’t let anyone that doesn’t know your value, determine your worth.
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.
Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.
Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Birthday celebration with family and a few friends.

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Filed under birthday blessings, birthday celebration

Tagged as birthday blessings, celebrate life, circle of life, Family, friendship, overcoming, self-worth

February 24, 2019 · 5:48 PM

The Andrew Sisters – Near You 1947

Have you ever been asked to do something out of your comfort zone? Ever felt like you were unqualified, not talented enough, or simply not good enough?

Yeah, that happened to me. Only this time I didn’t have to stand alone.

My girlfriends, Mary, Deborah, and I accepted the challenge to participate in our annual church’s Sweetheart Banquet. Ah, the joys of friendship! We went all out in finding matching outfits and practiced for weeks. Our bonding during rehearsal, accompanied a good deal of missteps and loads of laughter while lip-synching to “Near You”.

On the night of the event, when our turn came up, my motto was to zero in on my husband in the audience, sing to him, keep balanced wearing heels, and just have fun! We pulled it off and had a blast performing our skit. We received loads of compliments.

So when you think you can’t – you just might after all. Then again, you’ll never know if you never try.

Aren’t we purty?

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Filed under The Andrew Sisters - "Near You" 1947, Visual Art

Tagged as "Near You" 1947, comfort zone, friendship, girlfriends, performance art, skit, social, social gathering, sweetheart banquet, The Andrew Sisters

November 3, 2018 · 10:07 PM

Vacationing in Weston, Colorado

Hi y’all! Hola Amigos!

The mountains were calling and we went!

We recently returned from a glorious two-week getaway in God’s Country in good ole’ Colorado, with a couple of wonderful friends of ours!

And as promised, here are a few photos taken from my !phone (sorry…! Haha!)

Found this perfect quote to a perfect scenery:

“Heaven is a little bit closer in the mountains.”

Introducing our traveling buddies, Ed & Sandy Brockhausen.

Now having the pleasure to hang around with this couple is anything but a trip in itself!

They are delightful, and animated and know how to have fun, fun, fun!

Hubby and I.

And this is the Brockhausen’s little hideaway up in the mountains; took a while to drive up there.

Yes, these are wild turkeys! Some neighbors feed them; not sure if they’re pets or fatten up for consumption.

But no hunting is allowed in these parts.

See the beautiful Spanish Peaks in the background?

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Wouldn’t you know it? It started snowing the day after we arrived and my hubby was the first one out exploring!

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And then he got me to join him cuz he needed some warmth!

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Frolicking in the snow 🙂

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

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Meet Bailey & Dakota. They love going out in the snow – they’re in their element and they’ve worked up an appetite.

Another breathtaking view from the deck.

So peaceful.

Haaaaaaay!

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Let me take you on a little tour inside …
Upstairs loft/TV room

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A view from the loft looking down on this gorgeous kitchen.

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Notice the beautiful hand-crafted cabinetry.

Looking down at the Southwestern décor, colorful den.

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Check out the antler lighting.

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So cozy, comfy, and inviting.

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Enjoying some warmth near the fireplace.

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Yes, the perfect kitchen!

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Look at all the details. Their builder was truly a craftsman.

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Home away from home.

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The master suite.

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The guest room where we slept – not bad, eh?

The next day, it had stopped snowing, so we hopped in the buggy and cruised.

A wee bit chilly riding in the wind!

My mountain man – such a natural in the outdoors.

A couple of days later, the four of us took a road trip into town.

We saw lots of wildlife and deer are everywhere!

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I’ve known this precious friend–who is like a sister to me–for a loooong time! She be way crazier than me, y’all!

Taking this majestic view all in.

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A little disconcerting with some of the wiggly road signs!

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Oh, Lord! This reminded me of a scene in the movie, “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”… LOL

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A quick view of Stonewall.

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Girls just wanna shop until we drop!

Red River, NM – elevation 10,350’. Between my tender back and needing to breathe in all this altitude, I needed to rest!

I guess I be more of a city gal. LOL

Good morning all! Are you hungry? Best biscuit and gravy I’ve ever eaten made by Sandy’s hands!

Man talk!

Horsing around in Trinidad, CO.

We met and made new friends, Mike & Debra Messemer.

Debra’s creation: One-Pot Cheesy Italian Pasta & Chicken was delish!

She’s also a great baker and makes a variety of homemade preserves.

Our last night in Colorado.

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Well, I hope you enjoy the journey of my vacation to a little piece of heaven.

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

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Tagged as adventure, bear country, friendship, getaway, relationship, snow, travel, vacationing, Weston Colorado

March 13, 2018 · 7:10 PM

A Word Fitly Spoken …

Re-reading this quote spoken to me so many years ago still brings up a sea of memories of a difficult place in time.

As you can imagine, I was going through hell. All along thinking I was alone, I never realized that God not only heard my cries, but He knew of my pain too! Just like the song goes: He was there all the time–and in my case–God used someone with skin to not only pray but to reach out to me in my darkest hour.

It seemed like forever that I was blinded and so discouraged; I really didn’t see a way out of my situation. But a neighbor, who quickly became a true friend, made me her business. She wasn’t condemning or pushy; she spoke life over me! She was caring and loving and wise beyond her years. She prayed much and gently wooed me back into the arms of my Heavenly Father. Eventually, I received the support I needed and slowly began to heal. Sanity and wisdom kicked in, and I did what I needed to do for myself and for the welfare of my small children.

What am I saying?

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I wrote Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit & Grace so that others might find hope beyond their hopelessness and despair. We’re all walking through something. We all have a story. Some are strong enough to stand on their own, while others need a little encouragement and help in finding their way. They may have been lied to, beaten down, some even to the point of isolation. Ever been ashamed of your pain? I was.

No matter what, you can rise above your circumstances. It takes a made-up mind and a determination to change. Allow your experiences to make you a better person, not a bitter one. Many times what we’ve gone through can help someone else to overcome his or her own struggle.

There are people around you hurting. Make them your business. A warm smile, a kind word, a gentle touch. Show them love. Give them hope. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Bloom where you’re planted.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

3 Comments

Filed under Christianity, encouragement, Kindness

Tagged as brokenness, despair, encourager, Faith, friendship, healing, hope, Jeremiah 29:11, Kindness, over comer, Prayer, support

December 15, 2017 · 10:00 PM

Saying Goodbye for Now

It doesn’t get any easier, folks. I had to say goodbye to another precious saint of God. Mary Anne Copelin, my spiritual mother, mentor, and friend, was 91 years old.

This woman of God was a true doer of the Word, believed in having a prayer life, and always sitting on ready. She was a Bible teacher, a missionary, an author, a powerhouse, and a force of nature! She touched all who came across her path. She knew the Word of God and flowed under the anointing. She always said she’d rather miss God in trying to be obedient than miss Him in not trying.

Mrs. C first came into my life some 35 years ago. At the time, I was an empty shell. Broken. And undone. Mrs. C picked me up, dusted me off, and took me under her wing. Then she loved me, schooled me, and encouraged me. She allowed me to cry countless times and bare my soul. I didn’t always like or agreed with everything she suggested, but I respected her knowledge and sound wisdom.

I learned much from her; some lessons took a while to sink in. I came to the realization that I am a spiritual being. I need to be who I am and not try to imitate someone else. I need to love myself first, in order to love others. The self I need to reject is the “flesh” which dominates my soul. The flesh will abuse or misuse my personality. In order for me to have a healthy self-respect, I must see myself as a person of dignity and worth. The one who has no self-worth or self-esteem tends to hide behind a mask. Been there, done that.

Over the years, I’ve met and have come to know many wonderful and dear sisters in the Lord; many are friends to this very day. It was through Mrs. C’s ministry that I met another saint of God, Elizabeth Bearden, whom we also grew to love and even cared for her in her later years until she crossed over to be with the Lord.

Yes, I am grateful that this one woman enriched my life and instilled in me hope for change. Throughout my own personal struggles and setbacks, she pushed me forward and taught me the importance of God’s grace.

So, Mary Anne, I say so long for now. Thank you for your life and for treating me like a loving daughter, even when I didn’t feel so loving. I thank God for knowing you and for being a vital part of not only my life but the lives of my family as well. We will miss you until we see you again.

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Filed under Legacy

Tagged as character, Christian, death, dignity, friendship, good bye, Grace, legacy, ministry, personal, self-worth, so long, Spiritual Mother

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So Long for Now …

“Fred, Eric, Sarah, and Michael – to all of Susan’s extended family and beloved friends: My family and I extend our sincere condolences.”

Susan’s family

“My heart is heavy today. Susie was my friend. She reached out to me when I was going through some personal pain in my life. She welcomed me and my family into her heart and into her home some 30 + years ago. Our daughters the same age, became close friends, her youngest son and my son, a year apart, became diaper-buddies. Our husbands (during my first marriage) even grew close!”

“I’d watch Susie. She had such an upbeat personality and her words were always so encouraging. Even when I didn’t feel so ‘upbeat’ and ‘positive’, I couldn’t remain feeling down for too long around her. She had a way of hugging you while she patted you on the back … hard! Being around Susie, I learned how to communicate with my small children. I learned how to laugh with them. Susie just had a way with children – she genuinely liked them! I don’t think she ever met a stranger; conversation simply flowed out of her mouth and she truly cared for that one she was speaking to.”

“Susie had child-like faith, always believing that her Heavenly Father was ready to grant her simple requests. Whether it was the petition for the salvation of loved ones, or to save our nation, whether she sought a miracle for a deformed child or for the healing of herself – she knew that there was nothing too hard for God to handle, and never wavered in standing on His promises. She was a true worshiper. She loved to dance before the Lord and become lost in His presence. I don’t doubt she is up there now, dancing with our Savior!”

“Susie believed in hope. Hope against hope. Hope for a better day. Hope that God had something better. Hope that tomorrow would come. She trusted, loved, prayed, believed, laughed, encouraged, interceded, danced, worshiped, sang, rejoiced, wept, and praised! She convinced me that I could make it, that everything would be okay, that I was destined for greatness, and that with God ALL things were possible to them that believed.”

“I enjoyed being around her, but towards the end, I am ashamed to admit that I grew uncomfortable. We sometimes cower in the things we do not understand. We cringe at anything that may appear bleak before our eyes and before we know it our resolve weakens, our faith wavers and our hope diminishes. Yet, our God is constant. Aren’t you glad His love’s unwavering, His tender mercies unfailing, His grace enduring? He doesn’t give up on any of us! He says in His Word His grace is sufficient for us – His strength is made perfect in weaknesses.”

“Susie, thank you for the memories. You will be sorely missed. I rejoice knowing that your pain and suffering have ended. When you took your last breath here on earth, your next breath became your first one in heaven. You get to experience Christmas every day now, while we plod along doing all we know to do just to make it through another day.”

“And we who are left behind, may we not grow weary as we continue on this journey. May those of us who know Christ, remember that this is not our permanent home. Through every tragedy, every trial, and every triumph, remind us Lord, that You, oh God, have something greater in store for us. Although there are times we may not understand Your ways, God, may we remember that we can trust Your heart – for You know what’s best for Your children.”

“They say that I was a great friend to Susie, but it was she who was a great friend to me.”

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Doing what she enjoyed doing best.

I’ll always remember my friend, Susie Bubeck, and forever treasure our friendship of the many years we shared together! One day we will all reunite, but today we sadly said goodbye to her.

“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” II Tim. 4:7