Monthly Archives: September 2014

September 27, 2014 · 1:56 PM

Not That Girl

She is not the girl who scratched and clawed her way to the top. She is the girl who learned how to float to prevent her from sinking when life tried to weigh her down. Who walked on pebbles and used them as her stepping stones to get to higher ground. Who learned that childlike faith in the God above would blossom into something much greater than herself. She may have had father figures who were missing in action, but she became comforted by a Heavenly Father who never left her side.

Once dejected and rejected, she no longer is that sad, little girl. Don’t feel sorry for her. Applaud her, because it was during the dry seasons that she discovered an oasis. Rejoice with her, because in the darkness is where she found a beacon of light. Admire her for rising above her crisis in spite of her circumstances. She may have started out in the valley, pecking along like a chicken digging for worms. But then the Ancient of Days taught her to spread her wings like an eagle and soar into the air over the mountaintop.

Don’t cry for her, feel sad for her, or grieve for her. If you’re looking for a lost and lonely child, she is not here. Misunderstood, she may be; a wonder to many she may be. If you’re looking for perfection, she is not that girl. If you expect to see sophistication or to hear profound eloquence, you will be disappointed. Her past may want to dictate her future, the voices in her head play a broken song, and her name may even mean “bitter” — but she refuses to be that girl.

What kind of girl is she? A simple girl. A blessed girl. She is stronger today for everything she endured. She appreciates the beauty of living life one day at a time. She surrounds herself with those who encourage and genuinely care for her. She clothes herself with a garment of praise, amazed by the wonders of God’s grace.

Sad . . . alone . . . afraid.

Not that girl anymore.

“The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take.” Max Lucado

12 Comments

Filed under Memoir, survival

Tagged as Faith, hardships, life's journeys, life's lessons, Max Lucado, memoir, overcoming, personal

September 19, 2014 · 9:47 PM

My Sister, If Only …

I remember first holding you, so tiny in my arms.
Next thing I knew, you turned two, angelic, and quite the charm.
Your silhouette dances in my dreams before my eyes –
Remembering your joy with my simple lullabies.

I imagine your eyes, your voice, your laughter,
Spending time together, nothing else mattered.
Thinking about you often before crawling into bed at night,
I loved you so much, never wanting you out of my sight.

I wish you could tell me what’s on your mind today?
What are the things you’re longing to say?
Would you have married a wonderful husband?
Live in a castle and have many children?

Oh, if only, if only, I could see you now,
I would run to you, hold you, and twirl you around!

Oh, sister, there will always be a hole in my heart,
But I guess I knew that from the start.
If I still had you now to talk to, share secrets with, laugh, and cry
I would not be here now thinking: Why? Why did you have to die?

Photo Credit: LuLu Taylor via Compfight cc

In memory of my sister whose birthday is around the corner. She would have been ten years older than my firstborn! I had to say goodbye to her when I was nine, a month after she turned two years old. I remember so much pain and suffering back then, looking back, I believe God spared her from something worse. I look forward to the Blessed Hope that one day we will embrace one another again. She will not come to me but I will go to her. And we will NEVER have to be apart.

To read more about my sister from last year’s post, click here . . .

11 Comments

Filed under Loss, Personal, poetry

Tagged as death, grief, loss of a sister, love lost, mourn, personal, Poetry, sorrow

September 11, 2014 · 10:50 AM

Remembering 9/11

WE WILL NEVER FORGET!

Remembering 9/11

In the Thrill of It All

Once again, my birthday was planned by my beautiful and creative daughter, Anna Marie. She has always believed in and supported my writing endeavors, so I’ve started calling her my publicist. While I was on vacation, back home she rallied up my hubby, and her siblings, as well as secretly contacted my list of friends. (I believe she even hacked into my FaceBook account, for goodness’ sake!) The outcome was a wonderful, surprise birthday celebration for yours truly.

To my delight, I realized that my daughter planned out a theme for my birthday this year to honor me. She centered the theme with “Running in Heels,” the working title of my completed memoir. She designed and printed out bookmarks, created a decorated donation box, and had taken up a collection from donators who believe in my work.

This cloud-nine feeling of such love, support and all that took place was surreal. I can’t imagine EVER getting used to having people who truly are fans and those who faithfully remain in my corner while cheer-leading me onward toward the finish line. I have been deeply touched and I am grateful. But my work is not yet over.

Yes, I am the author of this story. I lived and survived those years. I wrote the words on the pages through hours upon hours, throughout the night when sleep escaped me, and upon every available moment when at home in front of the computer or jotting down on a writing tablet. To my dear friends and family who have made this birthday gal feel loved and special, to the readers and fellow bloggers who’ve encouraged my work, and to my supporters who went and will continue to go above and beyond, words cannot express the gratitude that is in my heart. Together we shall make a difference. Together we shall see this project completed.

From my heart to yours one beat at a time.