I consider myself a tough cookie. After all, aren’t I a survivor? I’ve survived some hard times: A broken home by age three, followed by poverty, hunger, homelessness, alcoholism, neglect, loss of a sibling at age nine, two near-drowning incidents, a car wreck, juvenile detention home, taunting, brawls, racism, alternative schooling, marriage to a ruthless man twice my age, bearing four children by the time I was twenty-two—three by cesarean—physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, betrayal, hopelessness, despair, rejection, abandonment, being shot at (he missed), divorce, single-parenting, grieving over the loss of dear loved ones …
BUT God!
Howbeit, there is a softer side to me as well. This thing called tears. Yes, a family member has even called me sentimental. I have been known to cry after losing a pet, even an insect. I cried when I shot my first deer. I may cry when reading a book, in a dance, a song, during weddings, or when watching a movie. I especially cry when I hear a newborn’s first cry, whether in real life or on TV, I can’t help it, the tears flow. I sometimes cry when opening presents, saying goodbye, at being pleasantly surprised, while laughing, praying, or worshipping in church. Seeing mountains, rainbows, the ocean, a kitten, or a hummingbird can make me cry. I cried when I heard my grandchild call me “Mimi” for the first time. And at times, I cry when I’m hurt, scared, tired, or angry.
But I don’t want you to know that. I am tough. Not weak. Remember?
Now I’m not much of a horse person, but I know enough to know that a horse is full of grace and strength with every muscle, tendon, and ligament working in unison to support a rider at galloping speed. Yet, that same powerful, majestic horse is controlled by a bit in its mouth and will move in the direction the rider wants to go.
When I read about Moses, he was the meekest man who walked the earth. When I read about Jesus, He was all-powerful, yet kept that power in check. His meekness was not a weakness.
So, I say: It’s okay to let our guard down at times and reveal our softer, sensitive selves. It doesn’t mean we’re a softy, a weakling, or a pushover. Power under control means self-control, and that is a virtue. After all, we are human with God-given emotions. Besides, God bottles our tears.
And because God loves us so much, I would venture to say: Sometimes God cries.
© M.A. Perez 2013, All Rights Reserved
Reflections From the Heart 
This is such a wonderful post on a subject i have been thinking about a lot this week. It is a lovely thought that God cares about every one of our sorrows. Thank you and God bless 🙂
LikeLike
Despite all you’ve overcome Mary, you are blessed, Your heart hasn’t hardened with all your adversity. 🙂
LikeLike
Awwww thanks Debby! God brought me out to bring me in! Walking in His grace 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mary you had to be tough, all those things happening to the one person is terrible. I am glad you can still see the beauty in life and appreciate a new born babe blessings to you and thanks for stopping by my space and leaving a comment I appreciate it. You are amazing.
LikeLike
Thank you Kath!
LikeLike
So beautifully written. Yes you are tough. Anyone who has been thru all you have experienced could have chosen such a different path. No doubt the enemy of your soul tried his best to take you out BUT GOD!
Blessings
LikeLike
Wow… I can relate to so much that you are saying. I know that I have cried a million tears but God has collected all of them and knows all of my pain. Blessings to you!!
LikeLike
Hugs!!!
LikeLike
Blessings to you my friend!!!
LikeLike
To you as well 🙂
LikeLike
Powerful very powerful! Thank you for sharing this much needed word for me today. May God continue to bless you. I look forward to reading more.
LikeLike
Hey, thanks for visiting and becoming one of my followers! I enjoyed your blog as well. Blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
Beautiful! I’m not sure how to allow that softer side to show—I fear that if I let myself cry, I’ll never stop. Or blow snot all over someone. Or just freak people out. 🙂 I have always envied my more tender friends. Your ability to express your emotions is a lovely gift–it often accompanies a heart capable of great compassion. Wonderful post.
LikeLike
Wow! Never thought about that aspect … to blow snot all over someone … can’t be too bad. But I do know what it is to cry, thinking I’ll never stop; sobbing until I can’t breathe and no more tears are left. I just may not always cry in front of anyone 😉 Thanks, Rebeca.
LikeLike
To have a heart is to hurt… The fact that through such hardship that many of us have faced, there is something to be said about the fact that we have maintained a capacity to love, to laugh and yes, to cry… Loved this!
LikeLike
So true, Tina. To have a heart is to feel as well. Not too sure if I always release those emotions in a healthy way LOL
LikeLike
Beautiful and heart wrenching. I can relate to much of this. Keep pressing in dear friend; you definitely have a God given gift that will bless many. Date: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 11:35:01 +0000 To: jurbano45@hotmail.com
LikeLike
Thank you, my friend 🙂
LikeLike
Beautiful, Mary Ann … Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse
LikeLike
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLike
Absolutely beautiful !!! Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse …
Sent from my iPhone
>
LikeLike
Knowing that God collects my tears brings me such comfort. All the tears that you have cried have not been in vain, Mary Ann.
LikeLike
Indeed \o/ \o/ \o/
LikeLike