This Thing Called Tears

I consider myself a tough cookie. After all, aren’t I a survivor? I’ve survived some hard times: A broken home by age three, followed by poverty, hunger, homelessness, alcoholism, neglect, loss of a sibling at age nine, two near-drowning incidents, in a car wreck, juvenile detention home, taunting, brawls, racism, alternative schooling, marriage to a ruthless man twice my age, bearing four children by the time I was twenty-two—three  by cesarean—physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, betrayal, hopelessness, despair, rejection, abandonment, being shot at (he missed), divorce, single-parenting …

BUT God!

Howbeit, there is a softer side to me as well. This thing called tears. Yes, a family member has even called me sentimental. I have been known to cry after losing a pet, even an insect. I cried when I shot my first deer. I may cry when reading a book, in a dance, a song, during weddings, or when watching a movie. I especially cry when I hear a newborn’s first cry, whether in real life or on TV, I can’t help it, the tears flow. I sometimes cry when opening presents, saying goodbye, at being pleasantly surprised, while laughing, praying, or worshipping in church. Seeing mountains, rainbows, the ocean, a kitten, or a hummingbird can make me cry. I cried when I heard my grandchild call me “Mimi” for the first time. And at times, I cry when I’m hurt, scared, tired, or angry.

But I don’t want you to know that. I am tough. Not weak. Remember?

Now I’m not much of a horse person, but I know enough to know that a horse is full of grace and strength with every muscle, tendons and ligaments working in unison to support a rider at galloping speed. Yet, that same powerful, majestic horse is controlled by a bit in its mouth and will move in the direction the rider wants to go.

When I read about Moses, he was the meekest man who walked the earth. When I read about Jesus, He was all-powerful, yet kept that power in check. His meekness was not weakness.

So, I say: It’s okay to let our guard down at times and reveal our softer, sensitive self. It doesn’t mean we’re a softy, or a weakling, or a pushover. Power under control means self-control, and that is a virtue. After all, we are human with God-given emotions. Besides, God bottles our tears.

And because God loves us so much, I would venture to say: Sometimes God cries.

© M.A. Perez 2013, All Rights Reserved

tears

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22 Comments

Filed under musing, virtues

22 responses to “This Thing Called Tears

  1. Despite all you’ve overcome Mary, you are blessed, Your heart hasn’t hardened with all your adversity. 🙂

  2. Mary you had to be tough, all those things happening to the one person is terrible. I am glad you can still see the beauty in life and appreciate a new born babe blessings to you and thanks for stopping by my space and leaving a comment I appreciate it. You are amazing.

  3. Sandy Brockhausen

    So beautifully written. Yes you are tough. Anyone who has been thru all you have experienced could have chosen such a different path. No doubt the enemy of your soul tried his best to take you out BUT GOD!

    Blessings

  4. Wow… I can relate to so much that you are saying. I know that I have cried a million tears but God has collected all of them and knows all of my pain. Blessings to you!!

  5. Powerful very powerful! Thank you for sharing this much needed word for me today. May God continue to bless you. I look forward to reading more.

  6. Beautiful! I’m not sure how to allow that softer side to show—I fear that if I let myself cry, I’ll never stop. Or blow snot all over someone. Or just freak people out. 🙂 I have always envied my more tender friends. Your ability to express your emotions is a lovely gift–it often accompanies a heart capable of great compassion. Wonderful post.

    • Wow! Never thought about that aspect … to blow snot all over someone … can’t be too bad. But I do know what it is to cry, thinking I’ll never stop; sobbing until I can’t breathe and no more tears are left. I just may not always cry in front of anyone 😉 Thanks, Rebeca.

  7. To have a heart is to hurt… The fact that through such hardship that many of us have faced, there is something to be said about the fact that we have maintained a capacity to love, to laugh and yes, to cry… Loved this!

  8. Janie Urbano

    Beautiful and heart wrenching. I can relate to much of this. Keep pressing in dear friend; you definitely have a God given gift that will bless many. Date: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 11:35:01 +0000 To: jurbano45@hotmail.com

  9. Lucretia

    Beautiful, Mary Ann … Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse

  10. Lucretia Fiasco

    Absolutely beautiful !!! Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse …

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  11. Knowing that God collects my tears brings me such comfort. All the tears that you have cried have not been in vain, Mary Ann.

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