So I made this Valentine charcuterie board just for Mama.
Happy Valentines y’all!
Tag Archives: Family
My Valentine Gal ❤️
Filed under Mama
On Borrowed Time
How time flies.
We’ve been caring for Mama in our home for the past 3 years. After spending the holidays with us like she’d normally do, she never returned to her apartment. Hubby and I noticed how frail she had become and the realization hit us both that she was going to need more assistance than what she’d been getting living on her own.
We do what we have to.
Our adult daughter, who also lives with us, is a tremendous help and caregiver for Mom, as well. My husband and I work full-time. Even with care providers, the bath-nurses, and medical folk checking in on Mom on a weekly basis, my daughter fills in the gap and then some.
Last year, after her doctor’s visit and blood work results, Mom’s doctor ordered that she be admitted to the hospital. Her blood pressure and blood count were dangerously low! During the four nights there, she received two units of blood and an iron infusion before returning home, along with her energy and appetite back! A year later, in August, it happened again – she was hospitalized and released. Soon after, I got medical POA, so when the repeated episode occurred a month later, this time, thankfully, Mom agreed to have an endoscopy procedure instead of coming home.
She had a mass in her stomach.
The dreaded cancer.
We cried, reminisced, and prayed.
Dr. Solomon would be Mom’s surgeon. We prayed non-stop for this physician and witnessed how he used wisdom in dealing with Mom’s delicate procedure beforehand. We placed our trust in him, knowing that the God we served–the Great Physician–was in control.
On the day of surgery, my husband, and children joined me. As they wheeled her off to surgery, I could see flecks of fear swimming in her eyes. I hoped she found strength in mine, howbeit my heart was heavy. You see, I became that little girl again. And I cried out to her, “Momma, come back to me!”
We waited in the waiting area for half a day, even when her surgery was over and she was in Post-Opt room. The good news, cancer did not seem to have spread to any other area in her body. However, they removed 80% of her stomach.
Mama remained in ICU for a couple of days and then moved to a private room. I remained with her spending the night as much as I could, giving her my love and support every chance. We have always had a complex relationship–she and I–but no matter what, she is still my mama and I will always be her little girl. ( To read more of my journey, click here… )
Today is Mama’s 88th birthday. Yesterday, Sunday, the family joined us to celebrate her life, surrounding her with our love and prayers. We wore matching T-shirts to honor her. I wanted her to feel our love and let her know how special she is. She is the matriarch of the family.
Today, Mom is being moved to Rehab for a few weeks for therapy and to become stronger. We continue to wait for the final pathology report, trusting the Lord will complete the work He has started in her; she is in His hands.
Life is fleeting. Let go of the petty things. Treasure your loved ones while they are still around.
I am comforted in knowing that when I am weak then my God is strong, and His grace is sufficient for me! Thank you, Lord, that your mercies are new every morning. Thank you, Lord, for another day.
Filed under gastric surgery, Personal
Thanksgiving – 2021
Retrospecting can be a good thing. Last year, on Thanksgiving Day, I remember feeling sad and a bit irritated. The reason: we were not having our regular holiday family gathering due to the Covid Pandemic restrictions. My emotions floundered all over the place. I did my best to focus on the positive. I even wrote this message to my family and friends:
If I am to be honest, I’ve been bummed out for a couple of days, knowing I would be missing our traditional, family Thanksgiving Day celebration in our home, which has always filled my heart with so much joy. Instead, I must choose to focus on what I have and count my blessings, giving God thanks and glory for all in my life!
Even on my worst days, He loves me! I have known Him in the valley, I have known Him on the mountaintops. While I love being on the mountaintops, it was trudging in the valleys where I grew closest to my Lord, and where I learned that the God on the mountain is still God in the valleys.
I am thankful He has given me health, provision, shelter, a loving husband, a beautiful family, and wonderful friends – He has made many dreams come to fruition.
I am a work in progress. Thank you, Lord, for not having given up on me, and I know You’re not finished with any of us yet.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!
“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess 5:18
Jump over to the present:
I am happy to report that this Thanksgiving Holiday, the day turned out to be special in so many ways. Yes, I am truly grateful for my loved ones. You see, while we celebrated the holiday with prayer, food, and fellowship, I glanced around the table, caressing my eyes over each face representing my family. And I realized: Mary, you’re not alone anymore. You see, as a kid growing up, I once felt alone and rejected. Matter of fact, I felt insignificant, always on the outside looking in. I had many insecurities and felt much like second-class. It wouldn’t be until many years later in my adulthood, that I experienced inner healing and received a breakthrough in my personal life. So much so, I put my story to pen and paper and published my book, “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace.”
We did something different this year, thanks to my youngest daughter’s prompting. We each held a strip of paper of questions we took turns reading out loud and then answering. This was epic because the questions caused most of us to dig deep and open up with heartfelt answers.
As I listened to the different ones share, I felt my heart would burst with gratitude in hearing my children speak over me. I wasn’t prepared for this raw reaction, nor was I prepared for what I would say when my turn came. I found that I was able to share my heart with thankfulness and humility. I blessed each of my children and grandchildren and expressed to them what I appreciated about them. I blessed my husband for being the man that he was and, again, for accepting somebody else’s children by stepping up to the plate another man left on the table. And finally, I turned to my mom and expressed my undying love for her, no matter though our relationship is a complex one. I also asked her forgiveness for getting short with her, and I assured her that I will always be her little girl.
We are all flawed. But we can rise above stinking-thinking and look beyond ourselves. Take a look at others, really see them, and love on them. I thank the Lord for making all things new – His mercies are new every morning!
Thanksgiving 2021 
“Family is the best thing you can ever wish for. They are there for you during the ups and downs and love you no matter what.” 
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” 
“The best time for new beginnings is now. Thank you Lord, for new beginnings.” 
“Let’s be thankful together. Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” 
“So, there is this boy he kinda stole my heart- he calls me ‘Mimi.'” 
“Granddaughters are angels sent from above to fill our hearts with never ending love.” 
“Always remember whose daughter you are. Stand tall and straighten your crown.” 
“Happy Birthday to my beautiful eldest daughter, more like a sister to me.” 
“Thank you, Lord, for Your bountiful blessings.”
Filed under Reflections From the Heart, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving
The Birthday Gal
Celebrating the woman who gave birth to me. A mother and daughter’s relationship can be a complicated one. It’s true, we’ve been through some rough and challenging seasons throughout the years! I don’t doubt there will be even more challenges that lie ahead! But I loved her as a little girl then, and I love her as a woman now. If you want to know more, read the book, https://www.amazon.com/Running-Heels-Memoir-Grit-Grace/dp/1944952039.
To Mama: Always and forever I’ll be your little girl, and nothing will ever change that. Happy Birthday, Mama! xoxoxoxo
Filed under Mama's Birthday
Always On My Mind
I remember first holding you, so tiny in my arms.
Next thing I knew, you turned two, angelic, and quite a charm.
Your silhouette dancing in my dreams before my eyes –
Remembering your joy with my simple lullabies.
I imagine your eyes, your voice, your laughter,
Spending time together, nothing else mattered.
Thinking about you often before crawling into bed at night,
I loved you so much, never wanting you out of my sight.
I wish you could tell me what’s on your mind today?
What are the things you’re longing to say?
Would you have married a wonderful husband?
Live in a castle and have many children?
Oh, if only, if only, I could see you now,
I would run to you, hold you tight, and twirl you around!
Oh, sister, there will always be a hole in my heart,
But I guess I knew that from the start.
If I still had you now to talk with, share secrets with, laugh, and cry
I would not be here now thinking: Why? Why did you have to die?
Dear Readers:
As we approach the anniversary of my baby sister’s life and death, what I have shared is very dear and personal to my heart. As my eyes mist with tears, I still feel my heart burn heavily from missing her! But please understand that I do NOT “blame” God for my sister’s death! Our God is Sovereign and I believe that He allows certain things to happen to us for His greater plan and purpose. (Isa. 57: 1). After all, His ways are higher than our ways.
Now, I’m not by any means a theologian, a preacher, or a Bible teacher. I’m just a layman, a simple woman of faith, with a finite mind trying to serve an Infinite God. I know that it rains on the just and unjust (Matt. 5:45); bad things do happen to good people.
If I am to be honest, I don’t always understand the mind of God. Howbeit, I purpose in my heart to trust Him! And if I am to be truthful, yes, to this day my heart does have a few unanswered questions. On occasions, in my journey of life, I have meltdowns, wallow in self-pity, and find myself clouded by doubts and fears. However, because of His steadfast love and His unfathomable mercy for me, I thank God that I don’t have to remain in that state of mind!
You see, I am a work in progress.
In memory of my sister who prematurely passed away 53 years ago by a hit-and-run driver. (To learn more of her story, click here.) She would have been ten years older than my first-born daughter! I had to say goodbye to my little sister when I was nine, just a month after she turned two years old. I remember so much pain and suffering as a child back then. In retrospect, I believe God may have spared her from something worse. I look forward to the Blessed Hope that some day we will embrace one another once again. She will not return to me, but I will go to her one day. (II Sam 12:23). And we will NEVER have to be apart.
Filed under Bereavement, Personal
Words Softly Spoken
Fail!
Let’s face it. I fail!
Not just sometimes, but a lot more than I care to admit.
I am not a soft-spoken person. I don’t know how to be, nor have I ever been. Matter of fact, I specifically recall several years ago when I went up for prayer due to my terrible marriage because of my terrible husband, who constantly caused me grief and undue stress, that this little prayer warrior woman looked up at me square in the eyes and said, “Learn to keep your mouth shut. It would hold you in good stead.”
As I think back, there had only been one soft-spoken and genteel person in our family, and that was my maternal grandma. Mama sure wasn’t … and still isn’t. My daughters, too, all have loud voices. We have a tendency to spout out. When my grandson was small, listening to us three talking up a storm, like we normally do, he made an observation and commented how “extra” we were. Haha. I wish I could say it’s a Nuyorican thing (Puerto Rican born in New York), but I’m not so sure I can get away with that.
So amidst the clatter and the sounding of clucking hens–especially when we women folk get together (you should hear my aunts in the same room); in my alone and quiet time, I want to be still and hear God’s voice.
Amid the chaos, I need His peace that surpasses all my understanding. I need His strength when I am weak. I desire His guidance and wisdom to flood my soul and take over. You know how it is: Jesus, take the wheel! Help me to be the woman you have called me to be. Give me an understanding beyond my comprehension. I want grace seasoned over my words and soft answers poured over others, even within my own family. In times of frustration, confusion, and ruckus – we need to remember that God is not the Author of confusion but of peace.
I don’t know about you but I’ve been bombarded with challenges and distractions of late. And you know what? Today is my birthday! So I received a birthday card from Mama and the words on the envelope addressed to me, which leaped out and touched me to the core of my being. I just stared at the words … and wept. You have to know that Mama isn’t big on giving compliments or speaking platitudes. But these words spoke volumes. Our mother-daughter relationship is a complicated one. Yet here she was telling me in the best way she knew, that she loved me. Yes, people: we need to count our blessings.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
(Proverbs 25:11).
Ok, never too old to learn, I’m still working on this!
Filed under Counting My Blessings
¡El Chupacabra!
“I can draw just as good as our uncle can, or you,” Big Brother Ruben said matter-of-factly.
“No, you can’t,” I corrected.
“Can too.”
“Cannot.”
“Can—”
“¡Niños! Callense ya!” Grandma cut in. “Dis is why you two can’t be together.”
Ruben and I looked at each other, puzzled by what she meant. But this statement became the reason Ruben and I usually had to trade places during Daddy’s visitation. Because we siblings horsed around and played too “wildly” together, when our daddy would come for me to go to his house for the weekend, he’d drop Ruben off to stay with our grandparents or with Mama. This was the normal arrangement. On rare occasions, we visited together.
My brother loved to tease me to get a reaction out of me. One weekend together at Daddy’s was no exception.
“Com’on, will ya?” Ruben impatiently waved his arm as if it would fall off, standing with the bathroom door open.
Curiosity got the best of me. “Hold your horses,” I said, trying to sound like Mama.
Big Brother looked like the cat that swallowed a pigeon, a canary, or something.
“You better not be foolin’ me,” I warned.
“Don’t be so sentimental,” he said, practicing the use of big words.
“Am not.”
“Are too. And you’re never gonna guess what’s in here.”
“Can too.”
“Can not.”
“Gimme a hint.”
Ruben shook his head. “Negative.”
“Cuz, it’s gonna be nuthin’.” I stomped my foot and crossed my arms, dying to know what was inside. “You just tryin’ to trick me.”
He stood in front of the closed shower curtain and held onto it. “Ready?” Ruben asked, with eyes wide.
“Go on . . . it ain’t nuthin’.”
“It’s too . . . it’s—” With one swoop, Ruben yanked the curtain and cried, “¡El Chupacabra!”
I let out a long scream at the huge form floating in the tub.
Daddy came running out of breath. “¿Qué fue?” he demanded. “What’s wrong? What happen here? ¡Caramba! I hear you all da way outside.”
“Daddy, Ruben told me it’s ‘El Abra Ca Dabra, the goat sucker,’” I whined, mispronouncing the word.
“¿Qué? ¡Oye! What s’matter wit you?” Daddy demanded in his accent. “Why can’t you play nice? You dun do dat to your sister.” He popped Ruben on the head with his hand.
My brother flinched but kept grinning at me, mouthing the words, “boba,” before he disappeared.
“Mija, you know what dis is?” Daddy asked, holding me by my shoulder.
“It’s a pink, dead pig!” I screeched. “Why is he in the tub of water?”
“Gloria is goin’ to make pernil. We gonna eat him.”
“Roasted pig? No, Daddy, that’s yucky.”
“Whachu talkin’ ‘bout? I betchu never had it before,” he said, closing the shower curtain. “You’ll see,” he winked, taking my hand. “It’s gonna be so good.”
If my daddy said something, he was usually right.
It was yummy.
Excerpt from “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit & Grace“, Chapter 7 – Big Brother
Filed under Uncategorized
In Everything Give Thanks
If I’m to be honest, I was bummed out for a couple of days, knowing I would be missing our traditional, family Thanksgiving Day celebration in our home, which has always filled my heart with so much joy. But now instead, I choose to focus on what I do have and count my blessings which are many, giving God thanks and the glory for all in my life!
Even on my worst days, He loves me! I have known Him in the valley, I have known Him on the mountaintops. While I love being on the mountaintops, it was in the valleys where I grew closest to my Lord and learned that the God on the mountain is still God in the valleys.
I am thankful He has given me health, provision, shelter, a loving husband, a beautiful family, and wonderful friends – He has made many dreams come to fruition.
I am a work in progress. Thank you, Lord, for not having given up on me, and I know you’re not finished with any of us yet.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!
“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in
Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess 5:18
Filed under Thanksgiving
New Year’s Birthday Bash
A late post–better late than never–worth sharing, especially with all the negative happenings in our world of late.
So what does one do when a New Year’s Baby turns 40?
She throws a Masquerade Party!
My baby girl, who many call my mini-me, lit up the room when she entered. She threw one of the best parties ever. It was so much fun to dress up and see the different outfits and masks others wore. With great decor, music, dancing, food, and just plain fun, what more could you ask for?
Here is a video and a few photos. Hope you enjoy!
A Tale of Three Mothers
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”
As I contemplated writing this piece, I was reminded of the famous opening line in the classic novel, A Tale of Two Cities.
Please bear with me as I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and attempt to express the stirrings of my heart. While difficult to write, write I must!
In my last post, I wrote about me and my husband’s recent return from a wonderful, much-needed vacation on a cruise with a couple of friends. Because neither one of us cared about adding the extra fee for internet usage, we opted out and enjoyed our getaway. As we neared the Port of Galveston upon our return, we were inundated with unexpected text messages and several missed calls.
Shockingly, I learned that my 79-year-old stepmother–who had always been like a mother to me–was hospitalized and in ICU. My sister stayed with her rarely leaving her side, her “labor of love,” as she so well put it. After suffering from a bout of excruciating pain, my stepmother had to have emergency surgery due to a small bowel obstruction.
A series of complications and alarming close calls left my family in panic, bombarding Heaven with their prayers. Three weeks later, thankfully, my stepmother was released from the hospital. She continues recuperating at home, working on gaining her strength and some weight back.
My sister continues to care for her and our dad in Florida, and she is doing an extraordinary job, indeed a labor of love!
Ironically enough, while we were on our cruise, our friend’s own dear 90-year-old mother was admitted into hospice. She had suffered a stroke, which soon led to another. The day we returned, our friend flew back to her hometown in Kentucky to be near her mother’s bedside. Needless to say, our hearts were heavy.
With permission, I share the words written by my friend’s sister, regarding their mother:
Mom isn’t doing too good she has had another stroke.
Hospice said it could be anytime she would be joining Dad.
She can’t talk, eat, drink, or move.
She is trapped in that old broken down body which seems such a horrible place to be!
I still love her so much.
I can’t stand to see her in such a way.
Part of me wants her to pass so she can escape that horrible prison;
But to escape she has to leave me physically.
Mom has been gone for over 2 yrs mentally,
But her body has remained.
But when I think of her passing …
I shudder to think about me!
So many mixed emotions are going through me at this time:
I feel guilty for wanting her to go, But selfish for wanting her to stay.
I know it is in Lord’s hands. I do not make that decision; the Lord will make it.
I imagine my Dad has been begging and pleading with the Lord since he got into heaven to bring her home!
I know Dad is getting everything ready for her arrival …
Our family can use some prayers!
Less than a week later, their precious mother passed away …
Many times, situations seem so out of control, and we are left feeling helpless. Even if one clings to their faith in God, and tries to prepare for the inevitable regarding elderly parents, the heartache and sadness of that lost loved one still crushes you and leaves a hole in your heart. But don’t despair! We are reminded in Psalms 34:18: “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.”
And wouldn’t you know the very day our friend’s mother passed, we celebrated my own mama’s 85th birthday!
The pendulum swings in the momentum of life.
Although Mama is not in the best of health, I am grateful to God that we are able to celebrate her life and bring her joy.
She’s had a hard life, which I shared in my memoir. We both have. But God has turned our mess into a message.
I feel blessed knowing that I can bring Mama some joy surrounded by family.
My husband, children, and their spouses helped to make her day special, as we showered her with gifts at one of her favorite restaurants.
While I have made no bones about our complicated mother-daughter relationship, those obstacles have never diminished my love for her.
The bottom line is We. Love. Our. Mothers. And we desire to honor them.
I pray the Lord to grant us the strength to relinquish them into His hands when that time comes for us all. May this blog post bring perfect peace and be a tribute to all our mothers.
We love you, Gloria Esther Perez.
We love you, Edna Tinsley Canter.
We love you, Ruth Ann Mendez.
Mother’s love is something that no one can explain, it is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain, it is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may. For nothing can destroy it or take that love away.”
~ Hellen Steiner Rice
“It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
Filed under Tribute to Mothers
Reflections From the Heart 