Tag Archives: Family

And Then Came Monday

Some weeks seem to pile one thing on top of another. Last week was one of those weeks. It wasn’t one big thing, but a string of appointments that made it feel as though my body was keeping a calendar of its own, each one testing my limits.

Tuesday, I returned to my vascular doctor to begin another round of painful treatment for my legs. I knew what to expect, but knowing something is going to hurt doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Thursday was supposed to be simpler. I left work early for about four hours of dental work, or so I thought. It took six and a half hours in that chair, and I still have to go back.

By Friday, I was already running on empty, and that’s when I had an appointment with my urologist during my lunch break for yet another procedure, this one agonizing. When it was over, I learned that eventually, I was going to need surgery.

I was supposed to spend the entire weekend visiting with my great-granddaughter. But by Friday, I was in too much pain and discomfort to manage the whole weekend, so I ended up spending Saturday night instead. I was worn out by the time I left, but I was so glad I went. Some moments are worth the tiredness and discomfort.

By the end of the week, I was worn down in a way that’s hard to explain. I remember thinking, Okay, Lord. How much more? Somewhere in there, I had surrendered to it all. Not because I liked any of it or wanted it, but because it was simply what was in front of me.

Then.

Came.

Monday.

At 1:30 that morning, my husband woke me from a deep sleep. We didn’t know what was happening at first, only that something was wrong. We ended up in the ER, where doctors confirmed that he had suffered a heart attack.

Everything else got small in an instant. The treatments, the hours in the dental chair, the dreaded procedure, my surgery waiting somewhere ahead, all of it paled in comparison to the fear of losing him.

After they took my husband back for more tests and a medical heart procedure, I waited alone for an update, praying. When the nurse finally came out, she was holding his wedding band.

“Your husband had a full-blown heart attack.”

Then she handed me his ring.

His wedding ring!

A wave of dread washed over me. For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

She explained that the cardiologist had found a significant blockage in a major artery and inserted a stent. The procedure was successful, and after a stay in the ICU, he was moved into a regular room for observation.

Thank God. My husband made it through. I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I knew he was going to be okay.

Maybe there’s a lesson in a week like this one. We look at everything piling up and think, I can’t take one more thing. But maybe the point was never to be strong enough to handle it all. Maybe it’s simpler than that: remembering Who is carrying me through it, because we were never meant to carry everything by ourselves.

There’s still more ahead of me. Treatments to finish. Dental work still unresolved. A surgery waiting somewhere down the road. And now my husband has his own recovery to walk through.

Maybe we can be bent by what life brings without being broken by it.

But today, I’m choosing gratitude, not because everything is suddenly okay. It isn’t. I’m choosing gratitude because in the middle of a week that seemed determined to knock me down, God kept showing up anyway. In the doctor’s office. In the dental chair. In that agonizing procedure. And when my husband needed Him most.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” — Psalm 46:1

I’m deeply grateful to everyone who prayed for us that week. I felt them. I truly did. I’m also thankful for those who were able to visit him. There is something comforting about knowing people are lifting you and the people you love before God, especially when you don’t know what the next day will bring.

So much of tomorrow is still unknown. But as I look back on that week, I’m reminded of what I do know. My husband is here. He’s recovering. And I can breathe a little easier.

And for today, that’s enough.

Mi amor. Also known as “Papa Bear” to our 3-year-old great-granddaughter.

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Filed under Faith, Life & Family

Remembering My Little Sister

Some lives are measured in years. Others are measured by the love they leave behind.

I’ve written about my little sister, Anna (named after my grandma), numerous times over the years. Every time I write about her, I remember something different: her infectious smile that could brighten anyone’s day, the sound of her sweet giggles, or a quiet moment that seemed so small then, but means everything to me now.

I was seven years old when Anna was born. She was my baby sister, and I absolutely adored her.

After school, she would stand at the window waiting for me to come home. Sometimes she’d run to the door with the biggest smile on her face, determined to carry my schoolbooks, even though they were almost as big as she was. We’d walk together, stopping to admire flowers, butterflies, and every little bug she could find. She loved picking wildflowers for Mama and would proudly hand them to her as though they were the most beautiful bouquet in the world.

Back then, I didn’t realize those little moments were becoming the memories I would treasure for the rest of my life.

When you’re nine years old, you don’t think about how quickly life can change. You don’t imagine that someone so small can leave such a lasting impact on your heart.

You see, Anna was only two years old when she died.

Her life was brief, but it was filled with love. She was cherished every single day she was with us, and she brought sunshine into our family. Even now, after all these years, I still think about her. I still miss her. I still wonder what kind of woman she would have become.

People often say that time heals all wounds. Perhaps what it really does is teach us how to carry our grief while the love remains forever.

In the years since losing Anna, I have found comfort in these words:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18

Love remains. It lives in our memories, in the stories we tell, and in the quiet moments when something unexpectedly reminds us of the people we’ve lost.

Anna will always be my baby sister. That is something time could never take away.

So today, on Anna’s birthday in Heaven, I’m honoring the little girl who loved flowers and butterflies, who brought so much love and sunshine into our family, who insisted on carrying my heavy schoolbooks into the house. Although her time with us was far too short, the love she gave continues to live on.

I miss her every day. And as long as I can tell her story, she will never be forgotten.

She loved picking flowers for Mama.

I like to think she’s still surrounded by them.

I share more of Anna’s story in Chapter 4, “The Little Green Dress,” in my book, Running In Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace. This time, though, I simply wanted to remember the little girl she was, the one who waited at the window for me, made those afternoons feel special, and found joy in the smallest things.

“And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:18

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Filed under legacy of love, Memoir & Personal Stories

I Don’t Know What To Do!

I don’t know what to do today.
Perhaps I’ll go outside and play,
or stay indoors and watch TV,
or take a bath, or climb a tree.

Or maybe I’ll go ride my bike,
or pick my nose, or take a hike,
or jump a rope, or scratch my head,
or play a game, or stay in bed,
or dance a jig, or pet the cat,
or drink some milk, or buy a hat,
or sing a song, or read a book,
or change my socks, or learn to cook,
or dig a hole, or eat a pear,
or call my friends, or brush my hair,
or hold my breath, or have a race,
or stand around and slap my face. 

I’m so confused, and bored, and blue,
to not know what I ought to do.
I guess that I should just ask you.
So, what do you think I should do?


I came across this children’s humorous poem about not knowing what to do, and it immediately transported me back to the days when my kids were little.

Back then, outside of TV, the only technology we had was the Atari. We played games like Pong and Asteroids, does anyone remember those? But honestly, some of my favorite entertainment had nothing to do with any of that. It was watching my kids make up their own fun, especially when they were doing aerobics in the living room and calling out:

“Watch me, Mommy.”

“Mommy, look at this.”

“See what I can do, Mommy?”

Those little moments were priceless.

Today, my grown children each have their own unique gifts, talents, and personalities. I still love hearing from them, whether it’s through a phone call, text, or email. My heart still skips a beat whenever they achieve something wonderful. They continue to make me smile, and we still laugh together.

Children grow up so quickly. Blink, and suddenly you’re wondering where all the years went. Cherish those moments while you can.

(I originally shared this post back in 2013, but the memories are still just as special. Some things are worth revisiting.)

By the way, here’s a sketch I drew of my kids some 40 years ago.

Wasn’t it just yesterday…?

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Filed under Family Life, parenting

The First Man I Ever Looked Up To

We have five family members with birthdays this month. On Aug. 11th, Daddy turns 93.

I’ve written so many stories of him over the years because he has given me so many stories to tell. With his animated personality, he has always been a natural storyteller. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ve probably met him more than once.

These days, I find myself thinking less about the big moments, and more about the little ones. The sound of his voice. His warm smile when he sees me. The comfort of simply sitting beside him.

At 93, every birthday feels a little more precious.

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” —Proverbs 16:31

So this year, I won’t say much. Just say thank you.

Thank you for a lifetime of love, for believing in me, and for being the first man I ever looked up to.

Happy birthday, Daddy!

I love you.

“Every wrinkle on his face is a story I’m grateful to know.”

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Filed under family, reflection

The Smells and Sounds of Childhood

I was always hungry as a little girl.

Not the kind of hungry a snack fixes. The kind that settles into your bones when you’re small and poor and there’s not much in the refrigerator.

So when I think back to the smells of my childhood, the first one that finds me isn’t café con leche or a pot of arroz con pollo bubbling on a Sunday afternoon. It’s a hot dog. Frying. In the middle of the night.

I couldn’t have been more than five or six years old. I was home alone and had fallen asleep, waiting. I heard the door open in the wee hours of the morning. Mama and my stepfather were home from a night out. Still tipsy. Loud in the way grown-ups get home late at night when they think the little ones are asleep.

Half asleep, I called out the only thing on my mind.

Mama. I’m hungry.

She grumbled, surprised that I was still awake. But she went straight to that hotplate and started frying me a hot dog. When my stepfather asked her to make him one too, she put him right in his place.

Hold your horses.

Me first.

In her own imperfect way, she chose me that night. Eyes barely open, I ate that hot dog in bed like it was a feast.

Because it was.


But the smells and sounds that shaped me most came later.

I spent three precious years with my grandparents in their small two-bedroom apartment in sunny Miami.

At the time, I thought it was just life. I didn’t know yet that those three years would become the safest years of my childhood.

I knew I was loved there before I even opened my eyes in the morning. I could hear the soft clattering of dishes in the kitchen, my grandmother up and moving, already starting the day before it had even begun. Near the curtain window, doves cooed somewhere nearby. And always, always, there was the aroma of Spanish coffee.

On the radio, Paul Harvey’s warm, unhurried voice filled the room. And now… the rest of the story. Even the radio felt steady in that house.


My grandfather was a man of few words. Strong, quiet, and deeply loving toward my grandma. He didn’t cook; that was entirely Grandma’s domain, but he showed up in every other way a man can.

Every morning, he walked me to school. Every afternoon, he walked me home. No big speeches. No lessons announced. He allowed me to speak, asking how my day went. Just his presence, steady as a heartbeat, beside me on the sidewalk while I chattered along.

He read the Bible every day and the newspaper front to back. And every Sunday, after church, we took the city bus to a cafeteria for lunch and then to the library in downtown Miami, where we’d spend hours wandering among the books. Looking back, I think that was his way of showing me the world.


And Grandma.

She cooked three warm meals a day, every single day. I didn’t know until I was older that she wasn’t the best cook. It didn’t matter. To a little girl who had gone to bed hungry more times than she could count, three warm meals a day felt like abundance. Like being rich.

If you didn’t finish your plate, there was no dessert. Simple as that.

But what I remember most about Grandma wasn’t the food. It was the sound of her.

She hummed gospel songs through everything, while ironing on the aluminum table on laundry day, at the sewing machine, at her big black typewriter, or crocheting in her rocker.

Worship wasn’t just for Sundays with Grandma.

Grandma hummed while doing everything, always moving, making something, doing for others, always grateful.


And on Sundays, we dressed in our best.

I didn’t have many dresses, but what I had was always clean and pressed. Grandma made sure of that. We walked into church looking like we belonged there, because she believed we did.

The church was our source of strength, comforting and encouraging us in a way that held us together through the week. I would watch my grandmother in the pew, her eyes glistening with tears she didn’t bother to wipe away.

She wasn’t performing. She was just… grateful. Deeply, quietly, overflowingly grateful to God.

I didn’t fully understand it then. But I was watching faith with skin on it. And it was leaving its mark on me.


I was sent back to live with Mama when I was twelve. That chapter is its own story, and not an easy one.

But I still carry the memories with me.

The soft sheets between my toes. The cooing of the doves outside my window. The aroma of coffee. Paul Harvey’s mellow voice. My grandfather’s footsteps beside mine. And my grandmother’s humming over the daily chores of our home.

Those smells and sounds didn’t just shape my childhood.

They shaped my faith.

.

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Filed under Family memories, memories

“I No Spic Inglish!”

As a young girl, I knew I had the best Daddy in the world. Although my parents were divorced, he’d come for me throughout the years.

I loved it when he took me to the parks. My daddy may have been short, but he was a big kid at heart and loads of fun. He had a knack for mimicking different sounds. Children laughed whenever he cried out like Tarzan on the jungle gym. He wouldn’t hesitate to push me high on the swing. I squealed with delight when he ran in front and scrambled away right in time before I could kick him. He’d twirl me on the merry-go-round until we couldn’t go anymore and tumbled on the ground from exhaustion. Me from laughing hard; he from running in circles.

Daddy worked as the produce manager in a huge grocery chain store. He was a hard worker and a model employee. A friendly and robust people person, he never grew tired of chatting with his customers and telling them jokes. His dark eyes twinkled with glee. The mirth in his thick Puerto Rican accent, mixed with his animated personality, charmed all.

Sometimes Daddy caused havoc, but always in fun. He often mimicked the sound of a kitten near the produce stand at work to see the children’s reactions. Once, an elderly woman hunted everywhere for the pobrecito. Then another time, while whistling like a bird, he had customers looking up for one. He even imitated a newborn’s cry.

“Excuse me, sir, but don’t you hear a baby crying somewhere?” a worried customer asked.

“A baby? No, no,” he answered. “No baby over here.” Daddy chuckled as he related to me how he watched the mystified customer walk away, shaking her head.

Daddy told me another story about a little boy in a shopping cart. The boy kept staring at him the whole time. His mother was across the aisle, weighing her vegetables.

“I smiled at da boy and asket his name, but he dun say noteen,” Daddy explained. “He just keep lookin’ and lookin’ at me, like I’m ugly or somethin’.”

“Then what did you do?” I asked and chuckled.

“I dun do noteen . . .” Daddy’s eyes twinkled.

“Go on,” I persisted, knowing of his pranks.

“I just smiled big and stuck out my bottom dentures at da boy.”

“No, Daddy, you didn’t!” I laughed, remembering him doing that very thing before, enough to startle anyone.

“Yeah, but then da boy started cryin’, so I got outta there fast,” Daddy said guiltily. “I dunno where I get these jokes. You got a funny papi, eh?”

“Yeah.” I giggled. “Muy loco, all right. Tell me the story about the goat sucker in Puerto Rico,” I said, wiping my eyes.

“¡Oh, si!” Daddy exclaimed, slapping his thigh. “¡El Chupacabra! Dis thin’ dat went round to all the animales suckin’ their blood dry.”

“Yep, that’s the one,” I said.

“Man, da people get so scared and say it’s some kind of diablo. They say, ‘sierra la puerta’, close your door, El Chupacabra is goin’ to suck your blood!”

“Ya ever see one, Daddy?”

“No, no, I never see dat thin’ in my life.” He chuckled and added, “I dunno if I believe it.”

“Well, it’s sure an awful, scary story.” I shuddered at the possibilities.

Yes, my daddy has always been a natural-born storyteller. I could sit and listen to him for hours. “Tell me again about the first time you left Puerto Rico on the plane.”

“When I left my hometown Utuado in 1952?” His eyes flickered miles away, as he mused. “Flyin’ in dat two-engine airplane made me so scared. I needed to go to el baño so bad. The stewardess want to tell me somteen. Pues, I dunno what she say; I dunno any Inglish then. She talk louder but I dun understand; I just wanna go. I try to make her understand me, so I jell to her, ‘I no spic inglish! I no spic inglish!’” 

As I listened to his broken English, I laughed until my sides ached and my eyes watered.

Papi
My Papi, Benjamin Pérez

“Daddy, you didn’t know how to speak English when you were nineteen?”

“No hija, I didn’. Later, my cousin in New York explained to me that da stewardess just wanted me to put my seatbelt on. Ay bendito nene,” Daddy laughed. “I didn’ understand noteen.”

“Hey Papi,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Ya know what?”

“¿Que mi vida?”

“Ya still have an accent.”

“Ju tellin’ me, man.” He laughed.


This is a story about my father (who recently turned 92 years old). His character is one part of the tapestry of Running in Heels: a Memoir of Grit and Grace. Now, I’m translating the memoir into Spanish to honor my Puerto Rican roots and reach hearts that need this story. I can’t do it without you! Help me bring grit and grace to new readers.

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Filed under Language Barrier, Memoir Excerpts

“To the world, you are a dad. But to our family, you are the world.”

“A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.”

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Filed under Father's Day

Mama


Creative Director – Charlie Duggar
featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright”
Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare”
Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama”
Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord”
Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”

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Filed under Mama, Mother's Day

My Visit to Puerto Rico

I have always had a desire to visit Puerto Rico. It is known as “Isla del Encanto“, the “Island of Enchantment” and is the small island of my ancestors. This desire has been with me ever since I can remember. Plans to go failed over the years for one reason or another, but the third time was the charm!

Our first visit to Puerto Rico for our 30th wedding anniversary was set. After making the flight reservations and renting an Airbnb, we were so excited. We were thrilled to have some family members join us! Our baby girl, my lit’l brother, cousins, hubby, and I made the 6 of us. ¡Wepa!

https://theculturetrip.com/caribbean/puerto-rico/articles/10-things-to-know-before-visiting-el-yunque-rainforest

These are the 6 fun-loving crazies enjoying our last evening together in Puerto Rico on the patio. We shared tons of stories, many delicious meals, and loads of laughter. We plan on getting together again, hopefully with even more family members.

I wholeheartedly loved our time in Puerto Rico and learning about its fascinating culture. I enjoyed the few excursions, which required much walking on cobblestone streets, narrow sidewalks, curb ramps, and steep hills. Visiting El Yunque Rainforest was truly enjoyable. Getting on a boat for my first snorkeling adventure, allowed me to see some of the wonders of marine life underwater. It was so worth it!

I found it interesting that the little chirping Coquí frogs are the national symbol for Puerto Rico. Just like the Puerto Rican people, they are resilient. Their voices are loud, and they will be heard! The Coquí is the perfect national symbol for Puerto Rico. It is a small island with a small frog. Yet, it has a BIG VOICE. Besides, these tiny creatures would have kept me up all night if I hadn’t had my earplugs on!

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Filed under Puerto Rico, San Juan, Vacation

Mama’s Chair

I did a thing today. It wasn’t a biggie—well, maybe it was—for me. This morning, I decided to post my mother’s power lift recliner on Nextdoor. Within a couple of hours, it sold.

That was Mama’s chair.

We always covered her chair to prevent stains from food or drinks. It still looked new. It’s where Mama sat all day, getting up only to use the restroom and then returning to her chair. This chair was perfect for her, comfortable in every way. She had a hand-held mirror and combed her hair every day while sitting there. She’d put on her lipstick and do her eyebrows in that chair.

She told stories and greeted family members. She welcomed guests and the many medical personnel who tended to her while she sat in that chair. Sometimes, for hours, she scrolled through her phone. She watched her favorite cooking shows and cute animal videos in that chair.

She laughed in that chair.

She watched her TV shows, ate her meals, and enjoyed her cafecito sitting there.

She cried in that chair.

That chair was her dining room, her office … and even her bed.

I would have held onto her chair for the memories, but I feared I would have become a hoarder instead. I knew I had to let go. I prayed and believed there was someone else out there who would benefit from using this chair. They would gain some comfort and support from it.

The buyer came and took the chair.

Another hole in my heart …

Looking at this photo, I still see Mama in that chair.

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Filed under bittersweet memories