https://maryaperez.com/2016/09/22/a-voice-cries-out-in-silence/
Tag Archives: domestic abuse
A Voice Cries Out in Silence
With brows furrowed, her head throbbed and pulsated to the rhythm of her heart. Her stiffed limbs weigh her down like anchors as she drags them at a crawling pace. Every pounding footstep inches her across the frigid tile floor, causing her muscles to ache. In between sobs, her throat — parched and raw — gasps for air. Finally she reaches for a nightlight and flicks it on.
She shudders at the image in the mirror that mocks back at her. One eye swollen shut. How did I come to this? Bruised cheek bone. How did that happened? Bloody nose. When will it end? Busted lip. How much more can I take? His curses echo in her head. But the dagger of betrayal she feels in her heart hurt more than the blow to her face.
She thought he loved her! Hadn’t she given him everything? But it’s never enough. He takes and takes, sucking her very life, until she’s deflated, a shell barely standing on the breaking point. She keeps offering herself, just one more time, hoping this time will be different.
“He will see me now!” Yet she is invisible to him.
The voices in her head tell her you are a mere child to him, like a puppet held by a string with no goals, dreams, or desires. He’s blinded to your needs and deaf to your cries. You are dead to him!
Truth be told, she died long ago. She’s empty. Used up. Bruised. And barren.
She turns from the image and screams out in darkness! Crying. Pleading. Longing.
“God, are you there? Do you feel my pain? Can you hear my voice? Do you not see my tears? When will you mend my bleeding heart?”
But she feels her prayers only hit the ceiling.
“Mama! Mama, are you praying for me? I’m still here. I’m not a quitter. I thought I could do better but I was only fooling myself. I can’t go on.”
“Somebody, tell me: How. To. Live.”
Image by DiamondCoverdCookies via http://www.loverofsadness.net
Why did I write this? Because I know from my own personal past experience what this feels like. While my memoir mentions some of the dark, hard knocks that I endured within my first marriage, I am happy to report I’m not that girl anymore. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. I learned that my yesterdays does not have to define my tomorrows.
I want to reach out to those who may be in a dark place, and involved in a relationship that is sucking the very life out of them. I want you to know that you don’t have to be ashamed of your pain. You don’t have to suffer in silence! My prayer is that if my story touches just one person — bringing hope and light into their dark place — then I have done something right.
I am desiring to write a compilation of stories from others who have also survived domestic abuse and domestic violence. Those who have moved on, healed, and don’t have a vendetta against another or hold any bitterness. I believe these are the ones who come out stronger and better and can shine and bring hope to the hurting. If this is you please contact me: maryaperez827@gmail.com
Together we can make a difference.
© M.A. Pérez, 2016, All Rights Reserved
When You’re Down – Look Up
“Touch the Sky” by Hillsong
What fortune lies beyond the stars
Those dazzling heights too vast to climb
I got so high to fall so far
But I found heaven as love swept low
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
What treasure waits within Your scars
This gift of freedom gold can’t buy
I bought the world and sold my heart
You traded heaven to have me again
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever
Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever
For many, this has been a difficult and challenging year. As we come to the end of 2015 and soon enter a new year, my prayer is that with every new dawn and in every new challenge, may we find inner strength and peace from the One above who promises to never leave us or forsake us.
Nobody said life would be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.
Hold onto the memories.
December 27, 2015 · 1:23 PM
What’s Next? Outreach Project
I’m constantly being asked, “What’s next?” The more I hear of other ladies’ stories of survival, the more I feel their voices need to be heard. My plan is to interview some of these survivors of domestic violence and abuse and have their stories heard. I am desiring women (or men) who have healed and moved on to a better place in spite of what they’ve been through, from those who are not bitter but better. Stories that will inspire and help others who may be going through a difficult situation and feel hopeless.
I’d like to introduce you to my new gorgeous friend, Crystal Martin: She is a devoted wife and a fit mother of 4. A corporate woman. An entrepreneur. An advocate for domestic violence survivors. Last night, I had the privilege of interviewing her and was blown away by her incredible story of survival! I am happy to say she is a total woman: healed, stronger, and quite successful, today because of everything she’s been through.
I am thrilled that she will be a part of my next writing project – a compilation of stories about women who have survived domestic violence in an abusive marriage. These stories need to be told, their voices need to be heard. It is our desire that these testimonies, experiences, and life lessons will serve to truly help and inspire anyone who may still be in an abusive relationship. To let them know that they are not alone and hopefully will see that they, too, can move forward and know that they can let go of that victim and limited mindset and lifestyle and come out a better person in spite of what they’ve been through.
Should you be someone (male or female) who has a story of hope and survival to share, I just may include you in my next book! After our interview, if you’d rather remain anonymous, you may do so. Please contact me.
Remember: God loves you just the way you are, He loves you too much to leave you that way!
Filed under book project, Outreach
Author Interview: Mary A. Pérez
I wish to thank Eleanor Parker Sapia for graciously interviewing me and helping me share my message of survival against all odds!
The Writing Life is pleased to welcome Mary A. Pérez, author of ‘Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace’, her debut memoir of the turbulent and uncertain childhood she survived.
Born in the Bronx, raised in Miami, relocated to Houston – Mary is of Puerto Rican descent, a mother to four grown children, “Mimi” to a couple of gorgeous grandchildren, and happily married (the second time around) to a phenomenal man for twenty-one years.
Mary was born to a Puerto Rican immigrant family in the Bronx of New York and moved to Miami, Florida in 1962. Her childhood story played out against the backdrop of constant social change which defined the 1960s and forever altered the landscape for future generations. With political tensions of the time raging during the Vietnam War, there was a personal war within Mary’s own family dominating her life. Her future held little hope…
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Reflections From the Heart 