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NUMBER 1.
Mama’s Chair
I did a thing today. It wasn’t a biggie—well, maybe it was—for me. I have mixed feelings about it. This morning, I decided to post my mother’s power lift recliner on Nextdoor’s website. Within a couple of hours, it sold.
That was Mama’s chair.
We always covered her chair to prevent stains from food or drinks. It still looked new. It’s where Mama sat all day, getting up to use the restroom and back. This chair was perfect for her, comfortable in every way. She had a hand-held mirror and combed her hair every day while sitting there. She’d put her lipstick on and do her eyebrows in that chair. She told stories and greeted family members. She also welcomed guests and the many medical personnel who tended to her while she sat in that chair. Sometimes for hours, she scrolled through her phone. She watched her favorite cooking or cute animal videos in that chair.
She laughed in that chair.
She watched her TV shows, ate her meals, and enjoyed her cafesito sitting there.
She cried in that chair.
That chair was her dining room, her office … and even her bed.
I would have held onto her chair for the memories … but I feared I would have become a hoarder instead. I knew I had to let go. I prayed and believed there was someone else out there who would benefit from using this chair. They would gain some comfort and support.
The buyer came and took the chair. Another hole in my heart …
I still see Mama on that chair.
Filed under bittersweet memories
Alabaster Box
Lyrics
The room grew still as she made her way to Jesus
She stumbles through the tears that made her blind
She felt such pain, some spoke in anger
Heard folks whisper, “There’s no place here for her kind”
Still on she came through the shame that flushed her face
Until at last, she knelt before His feet
And though she spoke no words, everything she said was heard
As she poured her love for the Master, from her box of alabaster
So I’ve come to pour my praise on Him
Like oil from Mary’s alabaster box
So don’t be angry if I wash His feet with my tears
And I dry them with my hair, hmm
‘Cause you weren’t there the night He found me
You did not feel what I felt
When He wrapped His love all around me and
You don’t know the cost, not of this oil
In my alabaster box
No one knows what you’ve been through
I can’t forget the way life used to be
‘Cause I was a prisoner to the sin that had me bound
And I spent my days, poured my life without measure
Into a little treasure box I’d thought I’d found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul with the wonder of His touch
So now I’m giving back to Him all the praise He’s worthy of
I’ve been forgiven and that’s why
I love Him so much
So I’ve come to pour my praise on Him
Like oil from Mary’s alabaster box (Mary’s alabaster box)
So don’t be angry if I wash His feet with my tears
And dry them with my hair
You weren’t there the night Jesus found me
You did not feel what I felt
When He wrapped His loving arms around me and
You don’t know the, you don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know (Jesus was there)
You don’t know the, you don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know
You don’t know the cost of the oil
In my alabaster box (oh)
Come on let’s worship Him
Come on and give Him the glory (hallelujah)
Filed under Alabaster Box
Mama: My Valentine Gal in Heaven
Loved beyond words. Missed beyond measure.
Filed under Valentine Mama
Be Still & Know That I Am God
Psalms 46:10
People, let’s not forget that no matter what, God is still on the throne.
Filed under Faith, Psalm 46:10
Thanksgiving Day – 2023
We had to say so long to Mama 6 1/2 months ago … on Mother’s Day … at 3 P.M. to be exact. After much prayer and reflection, I tried to brace myself for the end. It still shook me to the core. As a Christian, I know she received the best Mother’s Day gift and no longer suffers. I have no doubt she is in a much better place without pain and illness. She is dancing on the streets of gold. She is seeing her Savior face to face. She is reuniting with loved ones who had gone on before her. I am thankful to the Lord that Mama finished the race. And I know that I will see her again. But the pain of missing her still lingers on.
Sadly, two of her sons–my half-brothers–were constantly on her mind. They had lived a hard life, incarcerated. Her youngest barely made parole after 27 years. I’m glad he was able to spend some time with her. He saw Mama at the end and attended her Memorial Service. The next-to-youngest wasn’t so fortunate and didn’t have that luxury. Although he is now out of prison, he is in the beginning stages of grieving for Mama. He was trying to process it all.
If I’m to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to have Thanksgiving with them in my home. I certainly didn’t want any more drama. I just didn’t know what to expect! Too many years had gone by. The two brothers hadn’t spent quality time together for over 30 years. Yet, I knew Mama would have wanted this for them: for us to all be together again. And so, I asked for prayer at my church, for the grace and the strength to carry it through. You see, I knew in my own strength that I was powerless.
I wrote out the holiday menu, went grocery shopping, and did lots of prepping. That afternoon, my daughter and son helped with some of the recipes. I spent 6 hours in the kitchen the night before! Hubby got up at 2 am to smoke the turkey, and I finished cooking that morning. Daughter and son scooped up the brothers separately and brought them to our home around noon.
We all embraced, and the brothers were surprised to see each other. It felt awkward at first. Heated words were exchanged. But, as my son said, some things needed to be spoken and released. We reminisced as serene conversations commenced. Pictures were soon taken, and we found ourselves laughing. The smoked turkey, ham, and side dishes were spread out on the dinner table. Then, we stood in a circle, united. We took turns praying for both of them. When it was time to grub, my goodness, can my brothers eat! They devoured every morsel until they couldn’t. Afterward, we played a board game and then dug into the desert.
At the end of the day, I think something afresh ignited in our hearts.
Google says gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It also means readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.
Sometimes you must put your feelings aside and do something out of love and gratitude. The Lord has been so good to us and has blessed us in countless ways! This selfless action made a difference on my part – my pettiness had to get out of the way. Lord knows I had prayed enough, so it was time to put my faith into action. The Lord has blessed me to be a blessing to others. It was time to be a blessing, a time of giving, a time of love.
Life is made up of moments. I am thankful for my family and the gift of life. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. We all come from different walks of life; no one is better than the other. May we find joy in the simplest of things. Easy? Not always. Possible? Yes! Because He lives, we can face our tomorrows!
Someone said: Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.
Filed under Thanksgiving
On Bended Knees and Hearts
Sept 23, 1968: It is a day of celebration. We are with our beloved maternal grandma. The little girl (me) happily stands near her beautiful baby sister, who carries an infectious smile. We are celebrating my sister’s second birthday.
Oct. 22, 1968: One month later, it is a day of mourning. We are devastated and heartbroken about the precious life taken much too soon by a hit-and-run driver. With her sister gone, the little girl feels lonelier than ever before. Mama felt lost and never the same.
Current Year 2023: Mama changed addresses this past Mother’s Day at 3 p.m.. In August, we took some of Mama’s remains and placed them near her daughter, my baby sister. Both are with their Savior now and no longer are suffering. We shall see our loved ones again one day. For now, we are left with their memories and the ‘should-of, could-of, would-of.’
Ecclesiastes 12:7
“Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God who gave it.”
John 14:1-4
“Let not your heart be troubled;
you believe in God, believe also in Me.
In My Father’s house are many mansions;
if it were not so, I would have told you.
I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come again and receive you to Myself;
that where I am, there you may be also.
And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace by Mary A. Pérez
Filed under Life & Death
Daddy’s 90th B/day Celebration/Family Reunion/ Florida Vacation
Some of you know we had to say goodbye to my 88-year-old mama, a little over three months ago. Her memory continues to linger. She was loved beyond words. Missed beyond measure. At times, whenever I enter her room, sadness still floods my soul. I’ve given my grief over to the Lord time and time again, and every day I am strengthened. We did our best to care for Mama during the few years she lived with us. When she went through major surgery, we sought outside professional help.
If you have read my memoir, you know my parents divorced when I was very young. Daddy still lives in Florida with my stepmother. Since their marriage, my dear sister has taken excellent care of them both. I was anxious about visiting Daddy this year for his 90th birthday. Needless to say, it was important to me that I be there.
The day finally arrived when we flew to Orlando for Daddy’s milestone birthday party. However, due to illnesses, etc., this big event almost didn’t happen. I am so thankful the special day came to fruition. We were there to help celebrate this grand occasion.
We enjoyed spending precious time with Daddy, Mama Gloria, siblings, aunts, uncles, and several cousins. Fourteen of us stayed overnight at a lovely 2-story Airbnb. My sister had reserved it, providing more than ample room with a swimming pool. More family members arrived the next day to celebrate Daddy’s birthday bash. We gathered around and ate to our heart’s content. The catered meal included Puerto Rican and Cuban dishes. The dishes were pernil (roasted pork roast) and arroz con gandules (yellow rice and pigeon peas). They also included Congri (Cuban rice mixed with black beans). We had maduros (sweet plantains) and Cuban-style yuca with garlic mojo. Photos were taken with the birthday boy, with cake and balloons.
Mornings consisted of indulging in delicious home-cooked breakfasts with café con leche. We exchanged stories, laughter, great conversations, singing, and prayers. Wonderful memories were made to last a lifetime. Daddy’s party was a wonderful event.
After our stay in the Airbnb, we continued with our vacation plans. We attended a dinner and tournament show at the Medieval Times Dinner Theater in Orlando. The entertainment was fantastic with beautiful horses, jousting, and cool sword fighting. During the performance, a tasty four-course meal was served. You had to eat with your hands, just like in medieval times. Other outings that week included a one-hour ride at Wild Willy’s Airboat Tour through Florida’s Everglades. We experienced some of Florida’s wildlife. We saw blue herons. There were also gators and their nests. We spotted small, beautiful, orange-looking birds. We even saw a bald eagle! One evening, we visited Old Town in Kissimmee with our cousins. We enjoyed a 30-year-old tradition of classic hot rods and muscle cars in a parade. On another day, the chances of rain did not stop us. We headed towards the lovely Anna Maria Beach. It has warm, clear turquoise water and white sand. The scenery did not disappoint. This was a little bit of heaven for me. It was hard to leave! Finally, we stopped and visited my stepson in Tampa. Surprisingly, he treated us to his mouth-watering specialty: reverse-seared ribeyes, and tomahawk steaks!
Looking back now, I am thankful for all that transpired during our week in Florida. My main takeaway: Daddy remembered me. He remembered all of us. He was present, engaging, and loving. He even said a prayer over us. It felt good to feel his love while hugging him tightly. It was special to see my nieces and nephew and see how they have grown. I reconnected with some cousins whom I hadn’t seen in a minute. It was nice to get to know them.
Remember: family time is essential. Embrace all that God has blessed you with; weed out the pettiness and all that is cumbersome. Life is short and fleeting. You blink and you miss a moment. Count your blessings and focus on the bigger picture on this side of heaven called life’s journeys. It is a gift.
(I especially want to thank Titi Sonia and Tio Manny for graciously putting us up in their lovely home.)
Please enjoy some photos taken of our vacation week.
Filed under Daddy's 90th, Florida vacation
Full Circle
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison
She was weak, frail, with no appetite. I prayed that Mama would make it to Mother’s Day. She did and left us at 3 pm on that very day! I believe she truly received the best gift possible. She no longer has any pain or discomfort. She doesn’t have to worry about anything or anyone else.
I had told her that I would, and I did. Three months had passed. With my immediate family, I took some of Mama’s remains to bury. We placed them alongside her parents, my grandparents. We also buried her next to my baby sister. She was tragically struck down by a hit-and-run driver at the tender age of two, some 55 years ago.
Everyone expresses life and death differently. What we did was another way to honor Mama and her memory. I know that Mama is in heaven, and not in a shallow grave. You see, doing this was more about healing for us. We are at peace knowing we did something to honor her life. Through it all—and there were many bumps in the road—Mama was loved, and she is now with her Savior. In the end: Love. Won!
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” John 14:1-4
Here is a snapshot of what this looked like:
Click “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez
to purchase through Amazon
Missing my Mama
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Jaime Anderson
Missing you, Mama.
Filed under grief
From Heart to Heritage
Reflections From the Heart 