Damaged Goods

Definition of damaged goods: inadequate or impaired. Products that are broken, cracked, or scratched. A person considered no longer desirable or valuable because of something that has happened—someone whose reputation is damaged.

Are you damaged goods? Do you feel unworthy?

You don’t have to remain that way, regardless of your past or your present.

Was that ever me?

You betcha!

Read on…

Hollow. Pure loneliness. Dark, like a bottomless pit. Ripping in my chest. Piercing my heart. Again, he stays out all night. Overcome by torment. Abandonment accompanies me. Consumed with depression, isolation wraps itself around me. My mind races with wild imaginations of where he has gone, what he is doing, and with whom.

Instead of going to bed to sleep, I am wearing a hole in the couch. Every time a car approaches, I spring like a jack-in-the-box, peeking out the window, hoping he has returned. With every disappointment, my stomach turns into knots. My own sobs mock me until I cry myself to semi-consciousness. Hideous lies will follow after he returns and add to my anguish and emotional decline. 

Broken. Flawed. Undone.

That was me back then, living with a cheating husband. His words, like rubbing alcohol poured over fresh wounds, stung!

There were no quick fixes. No bandages for emotional wounds. I sank deeper and deeper into a dark abyss, convinced I was beyond repair. For years, that was my reality.

But I know now, it didn’t have to be.

So what was the problem?

I was overwhelmed by abuse—physical, verbal, and emotional. My self-esteem was nonexistent. My sense of worth? Gone.

I believed the lies about who I was and what I deserved. I convinced myself this was just my life, my portion, my fate. I had seen the cycle before in my own family, yet somehow I couldn’t recognize it in myself.

“I made him mad again… maybe I deserved it.”

That’s what I told myself.

That’s what co-dependency sounds like.


How do you see yourself?

Have you been lied to? Torn down? Made to feel small and insignificant?
Do you feel like you’re drowning, gasping for air but never quite reaching the surface?

Maybe you’ve been trying so hard to please someone else that you’ve lost yourself in the process, compromising your values, your peace, your health, your identity.

Enough.

Do not allow someone else’s brokenness to rob you of your joy or harden your heart.

You are worthy.
You are valuable.
You matter.

There is nothing wrong with being fragile, but be like fine china: delicate, yet precious and worth protecting.

You are not damaged goods.
You are not disposable.
You are not a forgotten memory.

Do not become someone’s victim because you believed their lies.

I am living proof: God does not discard what He intends to restore.


Get up.

Rediscover yourself.

Feel your wrist, do you feel that? A pulse?

Then you still have purpose.

Allow God’s hand to lift you, to place you in higher places. He will wipe your tears and gently restore what was broken inside you.

If He brought me out of the pit, He can bring you out too.

But it takes a decision—a made-up mind—to believe that today can be the beginning of something new.


What’s in your hands?
What’s in your heart?

A dream?
A gift?
A child?

You have something worth fighting for.

Choose your battles wisely, but don’t give up the fight for yourself.

If you don’t know my pain, you may never understand my praise.

But my praise? It was born from surviving what tried to destroy me.


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9 Comments

Filed under psychology

9 responses to “Damaged Goods

  1. Years ago I would arrange various appropriate Christian songs on a cd for myself and friends, based on a topic I felt led to act on. As a graphic artist/writer I was able to design and print cover art and a message inside related to an encouragement based on scripture. Yes, one was titled “Damaged Goods.” The photo was a beat-up box like the one you used! The subtitle was Isaiah 42:3, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not extinguish.” One of the songs was “Your Grace is Enough,” by Chris Tomlin. Thank you for sharing yet another of your personal stories. Because of your post, I think I will listen to the cd again soon!

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    • This is wonderful, Michael! Thank you for sharing this tidbit with us. Glad my post resignation a great memory for you. How cool is that? The scripture is spot on!

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  2. petespringer's avatar petespringerauthor

    Controlling and emotionally abusive behavior can affect anyone. I’m so glad you’re in a much better place now.

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  3. Beverly Willems's avatar Beverly Willems

    I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you went through.

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  4. “Stop allowing someone’s negativity or ill-treatment to rob you of your joy and develop a callous heart.” It’s a hard lesson to learn. Especially when it feels like there in NO ONE – not one in your corner. I really do understand your experience. But then God said to me and all of us – SURELY I will never leave you or forsake you… what can man do to me? Sending love. The blog was powerfully. Glad you are way way past all of it.

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    • None of it was easy, that is certainly true. Once upon of time, I too, felt like I had one one. But someone prayed for me, and here I am today! And yes, my friend, God’s promises are yes and amen – regardless of how we feel! Stay the course. Blessings on you.

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