Tag Archives: gratitude

And Then Came Monday

Some weeks seem to pile one thing on top of another. Last week was one of those weeks. It wasn’t one big thing, but a string of appointments that made it feel as though my body was keeping a calendar of its own, each one testing my limits.

Tuesday, I returned to my vascular doctor to begin another round of painful treatment for my legs. I knew what to expect, but knowing something is going to hurt doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Thursday was supposed to be simpler. I left work early for about four hours of dental work, or so I thought. It took six and a half hours in that chair, and I still have to go back.

By Friday, I was already running on empty, and that’s when I had an appointment with my urologist during my lunch break for yet another procedure, this one agonizing. When it was over, I learned that eventually, I was going to need surgery.

I was supposed to spend the entire weekend visiting with my great-granddaughter. But by Friday, I was in too much pain and discomfort to manage the whole weekend, so I ended up spending Saturday night instead. I was worn out by the time I left, but I was so glad I went. Some moments are worth the tiredness and discomfort.

By the end of the week, I was worn down in a way that’s hard to explain. I remember thinking, Okay, Lord. How much more? Somewhere in there, I had surrendered to it all. Not because I liked any of it or wanted it, but because it was simply what was in front of me.

Then.

Came.

Monday.

At 1:30 that morning, my husband woke me from a deep sleep. We didn’t know what was happening at first, only that something was wrong. We ended up in the ER, where doctors confirmed that he had suffered a heart attack.

Everything else got small in an instant. The treatments, the hours in the dental chair, the dreaded procedure, my surgery waiting somewhere ahead, all of it paled in comparison to the fear of losing him.

After they took my husband back for more tests and a medical heart procedure, I waited alone for an update, praying. When the nurse finally came out, she was holding his wedding band.

“Your husband had a full-blown heart attack.”

Then she handed me his ring.

His wedding ring!

A wave of dread washed over me. For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

She explained that the cardiologist had found a significant blockage in a major artery and inserted a stent. The procedure was successful, and after a stay in the ICU, he was moved into a regular room for observation.

Thank God. My husband made it through. I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I knew he was going to be okay.

Maybe there’s a lesson in a week like this one. We look at everything piling up and think, I can’t take one more thing. But maybe the point was never to be strong enough to handle it all. Maybe it’s simpler than that: remembering Who is carrying me through it, because we were never meant to carry everything by ourselves.

There’s still more ahead of me. Treatments to finish. Dental work still unresolved. A surgery waiting somewhere down the road. And now my husband has his own recovery to walk through.

Maybe we can be bent by what life brings without being broken by it.

But today, I’m choosing gratitude, not because everything is suddenly okay. It isn’t. I’m choosing gratitude because in the middle of a week that seemed determined to knock me down, God kept showing up anyway. In the doctor’s office. In the dental chair. In that agonizing procedure. And when my husband needed Him most.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” — Psalm 46:1

I’m deeply grateful to everyone who prayed for us that week. I felt them. I truly did. I’m also thankful for those who were able to visit him. There is something comforting about knowing people are lifting you and the people you love before God, especially when you don’t know what the next day will bring.

So much of tomorrow is still unknown. But as I look back on that week, I’m reminded of what I do know. My husband is here. He’s recovering. And I can breathe a little easier.

And for today, that’s enough.

Mi amor. Also known as “Papa Bear” to our 3-year-old great-granddaughter.

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My Declaration of Dependence

Every Fourth of July, I look forward to the fireworks. There’s something about watching the night sky burst with color that never gets old. As a little girl, it was all about the excitement. As I’ve gotten older, it has become a reminder to pause and reflect on what freedom really means.

This year feels especially meaningful as our country celebrates 250 years of independence.

Like many Americans, I’m grateful for the freedoms we enjoy. But if life has taught me anything, it’s that there are chains no government can remove.

Fear.

Shame.

Bitterness.

Regret.

Those were the things that kept me captive far longer than I care to admit.

For years, I believed being strong meant handling everything on my own. Asking for help felt like weakness. Smiling through the pain seemed easier than admitting I was struggling. I carried burdens that were never mine to bear, convinced I could outrun my past if I just tried hard enough.

I couldn’t.

The greatest freedom I’ve ever experienced didn’t come from depending on myself. It came when I finally stopped pretending I had all the answers and placed my life in God’s hands.

That didn’t erase the painful chapters of my story. It didn’t rewrite my past. But it changed the way I carried it.

As I wrote in Running in Heels, healing isn’t about pretending the scars don’t exist. It’s about discovering that God’s grace is greater than the wounds we carry.

So while I’ll enjoy the hamburgers, watermelon, family laughter, and fireworks this Fourth of July, I’ll also be thanking God for another kind of freedom: the quiet, lasting freedom that comes from His love, His forgiveness, and His grace.

America’s founders signed a Declaration of Independence. Years ago, I made a declaration of my own. Not one of independence, but of dependence on God. It turned out to be the most freeing decision of my life.

Happy Independence Day, and may God continue to bless America.

Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
— John 8:36 (NKJV)

American flag on a mountain peak at sunrise with hikers walking along a rocky path

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A Daughter’s Reflection on Fatherhood

On this Father’s Day, my heart keeps returning to a kind of fatherhood that doesn’t always match the perfect pictures people post.

My parents divorced when I was young. I was only five or six when it became final. Mama raised me on her own, and I saw my daddy during visits when he’d come get me. My stepmother was there too, and thankfully, very loving. Those times were special, even if they were short. I always looked forward to them.

I loved it when Daddy took me to the park. And I especially loved his stories.

“Tell me the one about the goat sucker in Puerto Rico,” I’d say, already smiling.

His eyes would light up. “¡Oh, sí!” he’d exclaim, slapping his thigh. “¡El Chupacabra! Dis thin’ went around to all the animales, suckin’ their blood dry.” Then he’d lower his voice, warning me to close the doors because “El Chupacabra is comin’ to suck your blood!”

I’d giggle and called him “muy loco,” but those silly, animated moments made me feel close to him.

As a little girl, I was sure I had the best daddy in the world, even though he wasn’t there every day. Of course, there were moments I wanted more. More time. More ordinary days. More closeness. That distance left a quiet ache I carried for years.

But looking back now, I can see the pieces he did give me. He made me feel like I mattered. He showed up when he could. And somehow, those moments stayed with me.

I used to focus so much on what was missing that I overlooked what was there. Healing, for me, began when I started holding onto those small, good things instead of only replaying the absence.

I also came to understand something deeper: God meets us in the gaps people leave behind. Where love felt inconsistent, God was steady. Where presence felt limited, He never was.

This Father’s Day, I’m choosing gratitude for what I was given instead of dwelling on what I wasn’t. Thank you, Daddy, for the hugs, the park visits, the laughter, the wild stories, and the love that found its way to me, even across distance. I appreciate you now in ways I couldn’t as a child.

To every daughter whose story includes distance, divorce, or a father who wasn’t there as much as she needed: your feelings are real. The longing doesn’t just disappear. But there is still something good worth holding on to, and healing is possible.

And to the fathers reading this, whether you’re biological, step, or simply doing your best to show up – please keep going! Even an imperfect presence leaves a mark.

From my heart to yours.

I’ve written many stories about my daddy. For more stories about Daddy, please visit https://maryaperez.com/2025/08/16/i-no-spic-inglish/ https://maryaperez.com/2021/06/30/my-heartbeat-part-i/ https://maryaperez.com/2025/11/11/when-memory-fades-love-remains/

Celebration of Daddy’s 90th

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Counting What Counts

Gratitude isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it shows up in quiet noticing.

Some mornings, I wake up, and my mind goes straight to what’s still broken. What’s still unresolved. What still hasn’t worked itself out.

And then something shifts.

Maybe it’s the coffee. Maybe it’s the light coming through the window at just the right angle. Or maybe it’s God gently pulling my attention back to what’s still good, still standing, still real.

I’m still here. And that alone is no small thing. That’s a gift.

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” — Psalm 118:24

Not a perfect day. Not an easy one. But this day, with all its unfinished edges, still belongs to Him.

And that’s enough.

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A Daughter’s Reflection

Mama:

She wasn’t the kind of woman people called strong.

She didn’t command a room or always make the wisest choices. She didn’t have the steady confidence I sometimes envied in other mothers.

My mama was flawed in ways that showed. Tender in places where life had been anything but gentle. And somehow, without either of us planning it, I became the strong one.

I stepped into that role way too young, long before I knew what it meant. A role never meant for a daughter, let alone a child. I became her steady ground. Her confidant. Her shield. And slowly, quietly, I started mothering my own mama.

I learned to read her eyes and knew when she was hurt or afraid. I carried feelings too heavy for a child to hold. I filled in gaps I didn’t even have words for yet. My childhood ended before it really got started.

And yet, it shaped me. It made me responsible. Watchful. Tougher than I wanted to be. But it also left me tired in ways I wouldn’t understand until years later.

Still … she was my mama. And I loved her. We all did.

Love doesn’t always grow where it’s supposed to. Sometimes it pushes through the hardest places and blooms anyway. Because God knows how to make something beautiful out of what’s been broken. Mama may not have modeled the kind of strength others admire. But she gave me something deeper without meaning to: space to find my own strength. I learned to recognize fragility up close. A kind of empathy I had to discover on my own. And grit, because someone had to hold the line. And when mine ran out, I learned to lean on God.

Loving a parent who couldn’t fully be there for you is a tender, kind of tangled ache. It isn’t resentment or blame. It’s a quiet knowing. I always knew she loved me, and she knew I loved her. And I believe she did the best she could with what she had. Even if what she had fell short. What she couldn’t give, God supplied. He filled the gaps with His grace, His presence, and the way He kept showing up for me.

Mama had six of us. She was ours—flawed, fragile, human, and deeply loved. She wasn’t perfect, and neither was I. But we were perfect for each other.

Missing her today reminds me that even fragile love can grow into something good in God’s hands. What she couldn’t give, God provided. It didn’t happen overnight. In the places that felt unfinished, God planted healing, resilience, and a deeper faith. I wouldn’t know this kind of faith without that journey.

It may not be everyone’s story. But it’s mine. And it shaped me.

If you’re missing someone complicated and imperfect today, I hope you feel seen. Love doesn’t have to be flawless to shape us.

I’m missing my mama today.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I’m still here because of you—

carrying the grit you placed in me,

held by God’s grace,

with a heart full of memories.

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Filed under Mother's Day, motherhood, Parentification

Birthday Blessing for my Son

My precious son, today on your birthday, I lift you up with gratitude and faith. I am thankful for who you are. I am just as grateful for who you are becoming. I’ve watched you grow in ways that still amaze me. You have learned strength not by pretending you have none, but by recognizing your weaknesses and facing them anyway!

Lord, thank You for making him brave enough to face his giants. Thank You for helping him stand firm in daily challenges with integrity. Help him walk in humility and grace, especially in moments of victory.

May his wishes be matched with effort, his goals be high, and his heart stay clear.
I pray he continues to master himself even as he seeks to lead others.

May he always carry a joyful spirit, one that knows when to laugh freely and when it’s okay to weep.

Let love guide his steps, faith steady his heart, and grace remain his constant companion.

Happy Birthday, my beloved son.

I still remember the little boy who used to look up at me.

Now I’m the one looking up at the man you’ve become.

Walk forward with courage, grit, and above all, grace.

Love you.

As Scripture promises: “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11.


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How Do I Love Thee

Dedicated to the one I love:

Love is a road. Sometimes smooth. Sometimes full of potholes. Sometimes, it’s like quicksand that wants to swallow you whole.

Looking at this photo of my husband and me, I don’t just see a moment. I see every step we’ve taken together. The long days. The late-night talks. The whispered prayers when we didn’t know what else to do. The mistakes we stumbled through, and the grace that carried us forward.

How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning says it perfectly. Not the easy love. The steady, persistent love. The kind that stretches deep and holds firm when life tilts sideways.

Marriage has been our classroom. It’s taught me that love isn’t just a feeling; you don’t wait for it to show up. It’s a choice. Again. And again. It asks you to bend, to forgive, to hope, to trust. To keep showing up, even when you’re tired, even when your heart aches, even when the world feels heavy.

Faith has quietly guided us through it all. God has been the steady hand on the wheel. The compass was used when we couldn’t see the path. The shelter was where storms came. And because of Him, our love keeps growing, not perfect, not loud, but true.

Love like this doesn’t fade with time. It deepens. It matures. And by His grace, it continues to grow, day by day, breath by breath.

So today, on Valentine’s Day, I’m grateful. For him. For us. For the crooked roads and the smooth stretches. I am also thankful to God. He keeps showing us how to love deeper. He teaches us to love more widely and more deeply than we ever could on our own.

This is how I love thee. ❤️

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Announcing Our Holiday Giveaway Winner!

Exciting News! We Have a Winner!

I am thrilled to announce the winner of our holiday giveaway for “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace.”

🏆 Congratulations to Andy Valadez! 🏆

Andy has read many wonderful books, and I’m honored that my memoir is part of his collection. Check out this fantastic picture of Andy with his stack of books, including “Running in Heels”!

A stack of books read by Andy Valadez, featuring 'Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace' by Mary Ann Perez.

A huge thank you to everyone who participated and showed their support. Your enthusiasm and love mean the world to me. For those who didn’t win this time, stay tuned—there will be more exciting opportunities and giveaways in the future.

Wishing you all a happy and prosperous New Year!

With gratitude, Mary A. Pérez

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Embracing the Seasons

I rarely think about my age. However, my body sure reminds me whenever I throw my back out. It also reminds me when my knee pops. And yes, in the mirror, I sometimes notice an extra line here or another wrinkle there. I look at certain areas of my body. I wonder where “it” went and when “that” changed.

From time to time, I muse about my early years. I had to grow up so fast. Then, I had four small children in my teens and young adulthood. The next thing I knew, my twenties were gone, and my marriage was deteriorating. Divorced in my thirties – I felt like a failure, but the world did not end. I remarried by my mid-thirties. Thank God for new beginnings. I can shout from the rooftop that no marriage is so good that it can’t be made better! (You see, I’ve been married most of my life.)

In my forties, I embraced the wonders of grandparenting. In my fifties, I became acquainted with the notorious aches and pains of aging. I found myself being a caregiver to a dear little centenarian. She taught me about living one day at a time.

In my sixties, the seasons changed again for me. This time, I sadly had to say so long to my mama. Within three months, I embraced the wonders of great-grandparenting. And she is GREAT.

As I reflect on this aging process, I realize I don’t have all the answers. However, I believe I’ve learned a thing or two about what life has dealt me. Someone said, “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

I read Psalm 90:12: “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” This passage reminds me and tells me to make each day count. I must remember to live in the present, not the yesteryears or tomorrows. I must remember to laugh often, love deeply, pray sincerely, and believe that my best days are before me.

Another birthday has come and gone. I can’t help but think: Have I done all I ever wanted to do? Of course, the answer is a resounding no: not even close. Am I running out of time? That’s God’s business. I believe life is a gift from God, and I’ll take each day and cherish the moment. He is the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat, and every second chance. Each. And. Every day.

I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds my tomorrow.

I am thankful for God’s goodness and the love which remains in my grown children’s eyes. I cherish the laughter of my grandchildren’s voices and the giggles of my great-granddaughter. The warmth of my husband’s embrace fills my heart. I am grateful for the scent of rain lingering in the air. The taste of grateful tears streaming down my cheeks reminds me of my joy. I am thankful for yet another year with loved ones and friends.

Someone said age is a myth and beauty is a state of mind. I like that.

May I grow old gracefully, forever blooming where I am planted,
one petal at a time.

“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grits and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez

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Thanksgiving Day – 2023

We had to say so long to Mama 6 1/2 months ago … on Mother’s Day … at 3 P.M. to be exact. After much prayer and reflection, I tried to brace myself for the end. It still shook me to the core. As a Christian, I know she received the best Mother’s Day gift and no longer suffers. I have no doubt she is in a much better place without pain and illness. She is dancing on the streets of gold. She is seeing her Savior face to face. She is reuniting with loved ones who had gone on before her. I am thankful to the Lord that Mama finished the race. And I know that I will see her again. But the pain of missing her still lingers on.

Sadly, two of her sons–my half-brothers–were constantly on her mind. They had lived a hard life, incarcerated. Her youngest barely made parole after 27 years. I’m glad he was able to spend some time with her. He saw Mama at the end and attended her Memorial Service. The next-to-youngest wasn’t so fortunate and didn’t have that luxury. Although he is now out of prison, he is in the beginning stages of grieving for Mama. He was trying to process it all.

If I’m to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to have Thanksgiving with them in my home. I certainly didn’t want any more drama. I just didn’t know what to expect! Too many years had gone by. The two brothers hadn’t spent quality time together for over 30 years. Yet, I knew Mama would have wanted this for them: for us to all be together again. And so, I asked for prayer at my church, for the grace and the strength to carry it through. You see, I knew in my own strength that I was powerless.

I wrote out the holiday menu, went grocery shopping, and did lots of prepping. That afternoon, my daughter and son helped with some of the recipes. I spent 6 hours in the kitchen the night before! Hubby got up at 2 am to smoke the turkey, and I finished cooking that morning. Daughter and son scooped up the brothers separately and brought them to our home around noon.

We all embraced, and the brothers were surprised to see each other. It felt awkward at first. Heated words were exchanged. But, as my son said, some things needed to be spoken and released. We reminisced as serene conversations commenced. Pictures were soon taken, and we found ourselves laughing. The smoked turkey, ham, and side dishes were spread out on the dinner table. Then, we stood in a circle, united. We took turns praying for both of them. When it was time to grub, my goodness, can my brothers eat! They devoured every morsel until they couldn’t. Afterward, we played a board game and then dug into the desert.

At the end of the day, I think something afresh ignited in our hearts.

Google says gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It also means readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.

Sometimes you must put your feelings aside and do something out of love and gratitude. The Lord has been so good to us and has blessed us in countless ways! This selfless action made a difference on my part – my pettiness had to get out of the way. Lord knows I had prayed enough, so it was time to put my faith into action. The Lord has blessed me to be a blessing to others. It was time to be a blessing, a time of giving, a time of love.

Life is made up of moments. I am thankful for my family and the gift of life. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. We all come from different walks of life; no one is better than the other. May we find joy in the simplest of things. Easy? Not always. Possible? Yes! Because He lives, we can face our tomorrows!

Someone said: Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.

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