Tag Archives: gratitude

A Daughter’s Reflection on Fatherhood

On this Father’s Day, my heart keeps returning to a kind of fatherhood that doesn’t always match the perfect pictures people post.

My parents divorced when I was young. I was only five or six when it became final. Mama raised me on her own, and I saw my daddy during visits when he’d come get me. My stepmother was there too, and thankfully, very loving. Those times were special, even if they were short. I always looked forward to them.

I loved it when Daddy took me to the park. And I especially loved his stories.

“Tell me the one about the goat sucker in Puerto Rico,” I’d say, already smiling.

His eyes would light up. “¡Oh, sí!” he’d exclaim, slapping his thigh. “¡El Chupacabra! Dis thin’ went around to all the animales, suckin’ their blood dry.” Then he’d lower his voice, warning me to close the doors because “El Chupacabra is comin’ to suck your blood!”

I’d giggle and called him “muy loco,” but those silly, animated moments made me feel close to him.

As a little girl, I was sure I had the best daddy in the world, even though he wasn’t there every day. Of course, there were moments I wanted more. More time. More ordinary days. More closeness. That distance left a quiet ache I carried for years.

But looking back now, I can see the pieces he did give me. He made me feel like I mattered. He showed up when he could. And somehow, those moments stayed with me.

I used to focus so much on what was missing that I overlooked what was there. Healing, for me, began when I started holding onto those small, good things instead of only replaying the absence.

I also came to understand something deeper: God meets us in the gaps people leave behind. Where love felt inconsistent, God was steady. Where presence felt limited, He never was.

This Father’s Day, I’m choosing gratitude for what I was given instead of dwelling on what I wasn’t. Thank you, Daddy, for the hugs, the park visits, the laughter, the wild stories, and the love that found its way to me, even across distance. I appreciate you now in ways I couldn’t as a child.

To every daughter whose story includes distance, divorce, or a father who wasn’t there as much as she needed: your feelings are real. The longing doesn’t just disappear. But there is still something good worth holding on to, and healing is possible.

And to the fathers reading this, whether you’re biological, step, or simply doing your best to show up – please keep going! Even an imperfect presence leaves a mark.

From my heart to yours.

For more stories about Daddy, please visit https://maryaperez.com/2025/08/16/i-no-spic-inglish/

Celebration of Daddy’s 90th

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Counting What Counts

Gratitude isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it shows up in quiet noticing.

Some mornings, I wake up, and my mind goes straight to what’s still broken. What’s still unresolved. What still hasn’t worked itself out.

And then something shifts.

Maybe it’s the coffee. Maybe it’s the light coming through the window at just the right angle. Or maybe it’s God gently pulling my attention back to what’s still good, still standing, still real.

I’m still here. And that alone is no small thing. That’s a gift.

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” — Psalm 118:24

Not a perfect day. Not an easy one. But this day, with all its unfinished edges, still belongs to Him.

And that’s enough.

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A Daughter’s Reflection

Mama:

She wasn’t the kind of woman people called strong.

She didn’t command a room or always make the wisest choices. She didn’t have the steady confidence I sometimes envied in other mothers.

My mama was flawed in ways that showed. Tender in places where life had been anything but gentle. And somehow, without either of us planning it, I became the strong one.

I stepped into that role way too young, long before I knew what it meant. A role never meant for a daughter, let alone a child. I became her steady ground. Her confidant. Her shield. And slowly, quietly, I started mothering my own mama.

I learned to read her eyes and knew when she was hurt or afraid. I carried feelings too heavy for a child to hold. I filled in gaps I didn’t even have words for yet. My childhood ended before it really got started.

And yet, it shaped me. It made me responsible. Watchful. Tougher than I wanted to be. But it also left me tired in ways I wouldn’t understand until years later.

Still … she was my mama. And I loved her. We all did.

Love doesn’t always grow where it’s supposed to. Sometimes it pushes through the hardest places and blooms anyway. Because God knows how to make something beautiful out of what’s been broken. Mama may not have modeled the kind of strength others admire. But she gave me something deeper without meaning to: space to find my own strength. I learned to recognize fragility up close. A kind of empathy I had to discover on my own. And grit, because someone had to hold the line. And when mine ran out, I learned to lean on God.

Loving a parent who couldn’t fully be there for you is a tender, kind of tangled ache. It isn’t resentment or blame. It’s a quiet knowing. I always knew she loved me, and she knew I loved her. And I believe she did the best she could with what she had. Even if what she had fell short. What she couldn’t give, God supplied. He filled the gaps with His grace, His presence, and the way He kept showing up for me.

Mama had six of us. She was ours—flawed, fragile, human, and deeply loved. She wasn’t perfect, and neither was I. But we were perfect for each other.

Missing her today reminds me that even fragile love can grow into something good in God’s hands. What she couldn’t give, God provided. It didn’t happen overnight. In the places that felt unfinished, God planted healing, resilience, and a deeper faith. I wouldn’t know this kind of faith without that journey.

It may not be everyone’s story. But it’s mine. And it shaped me.

If you’re missing someone complicated and imperfect today, I hope you feel seen. Love doesn’t have to be flawless to shape us.

I’m missing my mama today.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I’m still here because of you—

carrying the grit you placed in me,

held by God’s grace,

with a heart full of memories.

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Filed under Mother's Day, motherhood, Parentification

Birthday Blessing for my Son

My precious son, today on your birthday, I lift you up with gratitude and faith. I am thankful for who you are. I am just as grateful for who you are becoming. I’ve watched you grow in ways that still amaze me. You have learned strength not by pretending you have none, but by recognizing your weaknesses and facing them anyway!

Lord, thank You for making him brave enough to face his giants. Thank You for helping him stand firm in daily challenges with integrity. Help him walk in humility and grace, especially in moments of victory.

May his wishes be matched with effort, his goals be high, and his heart stay clear.
I pray he continues to master himself even as he seeks to lead others.

May he always carry a joyful spirit, one that knows when to laugh freely and when it’s okay to weep.

Let love guide his steps, faith steady his heart, and grace remain his constant companion.

Happy Birthday, my beloved son.

I still remember the little boy who used to look up at me.

Now I’m the one looking up at the man you’ve become.

Walk forward with courage, grit, and above all, grace.

Love you.

As Scripture promises: “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11.


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How Do I Love Thee

Dedicated to the one I love:

Love is a road. Sometimes smooth. Sometimes full of potholes. Sometimes, it’s like quicksand that wants to swallow you whole.

Looking at this photo of my husband and me, I don’t just see a moment. I see every step we’ve taken together. The long days. The late-night talks. The whispered prayers when we didn’t know what else to do. The mistakes we stumbled through, and the grace that carried us forward.

How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning says it perfectly. Not the easy love. The steady, persistent love. The kind that stretches deep and holds firm when life tilts sideways.

Marriage has been our classroom. It’s taught me that love isn’t just a feeling; you don’t wait for it to show up. It’s a choice. Again. And again. It asks you to bend, to forgive, to hope, to trust. To keep showing up, even when you’re tired, even when your heart aches, even when the world feels heavy.

Faith has quietly guided us through it all. God has been the steady hand on the wheel. The compass was used when we couldn’t see the path. The shelter was where storms came. And because of Him, our love keeps growing, not perfect, not loud, but true.

Love like this doesn’t fade with time. It deepens. It matures. And by His grace, it continues to grow, day by day, breath by breath.

So today, on Valentine’s Day, I’m grateful. For him. For us. For the crooked roads and the smooth stretches. I am also thankful to God. He keeps showing us how to love deeper. He teaches us to love more widely and more deeply than we ever could on our own.

This is how I love thee. ❤️

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Announcing Our Holiday Giveaway Winner!

Exciting News! We Have a Winner!

I am thrilled to announce the winner of our holiday giveaway for “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace.”

🏆 Congratulations to Andy Valadez! 🏆

Andy has read many wonderful books, and I’m honored that my memoir is part of his collection. Check out this fantastic picture of Andy with his stack of books, including “Running in Heels”!

A stack of books read by Andy Valadez, featuring 'Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace' by Mary Ann Perez.

A huge thank you to everyone who participated and showed their support. Your enthusiasm and love mean the world to me. For those who didn’t win this time, stay tuned—there will be more exciting opportunities and giveaways in the future.

Wishing you all a happy and prosperous New Year!

With gratitude, Mary A. Pérez

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Embracing the Seasons

I rarely think about my age. However, my body sure reminds me whenever I throw my back out. It also reminds me of when my knee pops. And yes, in the mirror, I sometimes notice an extra line here or another wrinkle there. I gaze upon certain areas of my physique. I wonder where “it” went and when “that” changed.

From time to time, I muse about my early years. I had to grow up so fast. Then, I had four small children in my teens and young adulthood. The next thing I knew, my twenties were gone, and my marriage was deteriorating. Divorced in my thirties – I felt like a failure, but the world did not end. I remarried by my mid-thirties. Thank God for new beginnings. I can shout from the rooftop that no marriage is so good that it can’t be made better! (You see, I’ve been married most of my life.) In my forties, I embraced the wonders of grand-parenting. In my fifties, I felt the notorious body aches and pains. I found myself being a caregiver to a dear little centenarian. She taught me about living one day at a time.

In my sixties, the seasons changed again for me. This time, I sadly had to say so long to my mama. Within three months, I embraced the wonders of great-grandparenting. And she is GREAT.

As I reflect on this aging process, I realize I don’t have all the answers. However, I believe I’ve learned a thing or two about what life has dealt me. Someone said, “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

I read Psalms 90:12: “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” This passage speaks to me and tells me to make each day count. I must remember to live in the present, not the yesteryears or tomorrows. I must remember to laugh often, love deeply, pray sincerely, and believe that my best days are before me.

Another birthday has come and gone. I can’t help but think: Have I done all I ever wanted to do? Of course, the answer is a resounding no: not even close. Am I running out of time? That’s God’s business. I believe life is a gift from God, and I’ll take each day and cherish the moment. He is the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat, and every second chance. Each. And. Everyday.

I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds my tomorrow.

I am thankful for God’s goodness and the love I still see in my grown children’s eyes. I cherish the laughter of my grandchildren’s voices and the giggles of my great-granddaughter. The warmth of my husband’s embrace fills my heart. I am grateful for the scent of rain lingering in the air. The taste of grateful tears streaming down my cheeks reminds me of my joy. I am thankful for yet another year with loved ones and friends.

Someone said age is a myth and beauty is a state of mind. I like that.

May I grow old gracefully, forever blooming where I am planted,
one petal at a time.

“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grits and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez

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Thanksgiving Day – 2023

We had to say so long to Mama 6 1/2 months ago … on Mother’s Day … at 3 P.M. to be exact. After much prayer and reflection, I tried to brace myself for the end. It still shook me to the core. As a Christian, I know she received the best Mother’s Day gift and no longer suffers. I have no doubt she is in a much better place without pain and illness. She is dancing on the streets of gold. She is seeing her Savior face to face. She is reuniting with loved ones who had gone on before her. I am thankful to the Lord that Mama finished the race. And I know that I will see her again. But the pain of missing her still lingers on.

Sadly, two of her sons–my half-brothers–were constantly on her mind. They had lived a hard life, incarcerated. Her youngest barely made parole after 27 years. I’m glad he was able to spend some time with her. He saw Mama at the end and attended her Memorial Service. The next-to-youngest wasn’t so fortunate and didn’t have that luxury. Although he is now out of prison, he is in the beginning stages of grieving for Mama. He was trying to process it all.

If I’m to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to have Thanksgiving with them in my home. I certainly didn’t want any more drama. I just didn’t know what to expect! Too many years had gone by. The two brothers hadn’t spent quality time together for over 30 years. Yet, I knew Mama would have wanted this for them: for us to all be together again. And so, I asked for prayer at my church, for the grace and the strength to carry it through. You see, I knew in my own strength that I was powerless.

I wrote out the holiday menu, went grocery shopping, and did lots of prepping. That afternoon, my daughter and son helped with some of the recipes. I spent 6 hours in the kitchen the night before! Hubby got up at 2 am to smoke the turkey, and I finished cooking that morning. Daughter and son scooped up the brothers separately and brought them to our home around noon.

We all embraced, and the brothers were surprised to see each other. It felt awkward at first. Heated words were exchanged. But, as my son said, some things needed to be spoken and released. We reminisced as serene conversations commenced. Pictures were soon taken, and we found ourselves laughing. The smoked turkey, ham, and side dishes were spread out on the dinner table. Then, we stood in a circle, united. We took turns praying for both of them. When it was time to grub, my goodness, can my brothers eat! They devoured every morsel until they couldn’t. Afterward, we played a board game and then dug into the desert.

At the end of the day, I think something afresh ignited in our hearts.

Google says gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It also means readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.

Sometimes you must put your feelings aside and do something out of love and gratitude. The Lord has been so good to us and has blessed us in countless ways! This selfless action made a difference on my part – my pettiness had to get out of the way. Lord knows I had prayed enough, so it was time to put my faith into action. The Lord has blessed me to be a blessing to others. It was time to be a blessing, a time of giving, a time of love.

Life is made up of moments. I am thankful for my family and the gift of life. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. We all come from different walks of life; no one is better than the other. May we find joy in the simplest of things. Easy? Not always. Possible? Yes! Because He lives, we can face our tomorrows!

Someone said: Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.

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Thanksgiving – 2021

Reflecting can be a good thing. Last year, on Thanksgiving Day, I remember feeling sad and a bit irritated. The reason: we were not able to have our regular holiday family gathering due to the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions. My emotions floundered all over the place. I did my best to focus on the positive. I even wrote this message to my family and friends:

To be honest, I’ve been bummed out for a couple of days. I will miss our traditional family Thanksgiving Day celebration at home. It has always filled my heart with so much joy. Instead, I must choose to focus on what I have. I will count my blessings. I give thanks and glory to God for all in my life!

Even on my worst days, He loves me! I have known Him in the valley and on the mountaintops. While I love being on the mountaintops, trudging in the valleys was where I grew closest to my Lord. I learned that the God on the mountain is still God in the valleys.

I am thankful He has given me health, provision, and shelter. He has also given me a loving husband, a beautiful family, and wonderful friends. He has made many dreams come to fruition.

I am a work in progress. Thank you, Lord, for not having given up on me. I know You’re not finished with any of us yet.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!

“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess 5:18

Jump over to the present:

I am happy to report that this Thanksgiving holiday was special in many ways. Yes, I am genuinely grateful for my loved ones. I glanced around the table as we celebrated the holiday with prayer, food, and fellowship. I caressed my eyes over each face representing my family. And I realized: Mary, you’re not alone anymore. You see, as a kid growing up, I once felt alone and rejected. In fact, I often felt insignificant, always on the outside looking in. I had many insecurities and felt much like a second-class citizen. It took many years into my adulthood to experience inner healing. I finally received a breakthrough in my personal life. I decided to put my story to pen and paper. Then I published my book, “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace.”

Thanks to my youngest daughter’s prompting, we did something different this year. We each held a strip of paper with questions, taking turns reading aloud and then answering the questions. This was epic because the questions prompted us to dig deep and share heartfelt answers.

As I listened to the different ones share, I felt immense gratitude. My heart was full upon hearing my children speak over me. I wasn’t prepared for this raw reaction, nor was I prepared for what I would say when my turn came. I found that I could share my heart with thankfulness and humility. I blessed each of my children and grandchildren, expressing to them what I appreciated about them. I blessed my husband for being the man that he is. I also blessed him for accepting somebody else’s children. He stepped up to the plate, another man left on the table. And finally, I turned to my mama. I expressed my undying love for her. Our relationship is complex, regardless. I also asked her for forgiveness for getting short-tempered with her. I assured her that I will always be her little girl.

We are all flawed, but we can rise above stinking thinking and look beyond ourselves. Look at others, really see them, and love them. I thank the Lord for making all things new—His mercies are new every morning!

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Filed under Reflections From the Heart, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving

IN Everything Give Thanks

Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most

important and by far the most life changing

~ Zig Ziglar

  

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We are Four Generations ~ few in numbers, but fierce in heart, a force to be reckoned with.

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My precious grandchildren keep me young at heart!

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Three of my dear children – I loved them since the first day I laid eyes on them.

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He is my quiet strength, the perfect one for me.

I am a blessed woman. I will never forget when I prayed

for the things I have now.

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