Reflections From the Heart

November 7, 2018 · 4:00 AM

I Still Believe

So my family and I watched this raw and poignant documentary (see movie trailer above) about gospel singer and songwriter, Russ Taff. Such a moving and candid story about six GRAMMY® awards and nine Gospel Music Association Dove Awards talented singer, hailed by Billboard Magazine as “the single most electrifying voice in Christian music.” YET, when one would consider him at the top of the world, he struggled deeply with depression, emotional pain, and despair in many ways.

NEWS FLASH: No one is perfect except the Lord God Almighty! I have NOT arrived, and neither have you! As Christians, we ALL have a cross to bear, working out our salvation with fear and trembling, fighting the good fight of faith. You may be at the top of your game, but I bet you have a struggle, a needling if you will, in your decaying flesh you wish you could overcome – yesterday! Well, don’t stop praying and believing. We work out our salvation by going to the very source of our salvation—the Word of God—wherein we renew our hearts and minds … daily.

In viewing this movie, I appreciated Russ Taff’s honesty and he never tried to gloss it over. He spoke about his religious, strict upbringing (talk about legalism), his own personal shame, and debilitation guilt in struggling with an addiction he tried to bury and hide. He loathed himself. So, if we struggle with our earthly parents, will it not be difficult to see our Heavenly Father as loving and forgiving of our own flaws? And if we loathe ourselves, then how can we comprehend and accept God’s perfect love for us?

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Some of us are gonna have to open our eyes by faith here!

At the end of this movie, I took away a lot of golden nuggets.

But one interesting term (I had just never heard before): Covert Incest – it is also known as emotional incest, a type of abuse in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult. Wow! I know now what I wished I had known regarding my own childhood so long ago. Such a revelation for me!

I highly recommend this inspirational film – do not miss it!

Thank you, Russ, for your candid testimony about your life as a Christian. And thank you for coming to Texas and visiting our church, The Freedom Center, in 2012. I also thank you and your precious wife, Tori, for not giving up on God and on each other. I love you guys!

The best comment was from Tori herself, “Russ is a grateful recovering alcoholic, saved by grace!”

My all-time favorite song by Russ Taff:

Vacationing in Weston, Colorado

Hi y’all! Hola Amigos!

The mountains were calling and we went!

We recently returned from a glorious two-week getaway in God’s Country in good ole’ Colorado, with a couple of wonderful friends of ours!

And as promised, here are a few photos taken from my !phone (sorry…! Haha!)

Found this perfect quote to a perfect scenery:

“Heaven is a little bit closer in the mountains.”

Introducing our traveling buddies, Ed & Sandy Brockhausen.

Now having the pleasure to hang around with this couple is anything but a trip in itself!

They are delightful, and animated and know how to have fun, fun, fun!

Hubby and I.

And this is the Brockhausen’s little hideaway up in the mountains; took a while to drive up there.

Yes, these are wild turkeys! Some neighbors feed them; not sure if they’re pets or fatten up for consumption.

But no hunting is allowed in these parts.

See the beautiful Spanish Peaks in the background?

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Wouldn’t you know it? It started snowing the day after we arrived and my hubby was the first one out exploring!

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And then he got me to join him cuz he needed some warmth!

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Frolicking in the snow 🙂

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

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Meet Bailey & Dakota. They love going out in the snow – they’re in their element and they’ve worked up an appetite.

Another breathtaking view from the deck.

So peaceful.

Haaaaaaay!

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Let me take you on a little tour inside …
Upstairs loft/TV room

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A view from the loft looking down on this gorgeous kitchen.

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Notice the beautiful hand-crafted cabinetry.

Looking down at the Southwestern décor, colorful den.

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Check out the antler lighting.

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So cozy, comfy, and inviting.

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Enjoying some warmth near the fireplace.

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Yes, the perfect kitchen!

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Look at all the details. Their builder was truly a craftsman.

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Home away from home.

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The master suite.

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The guest room where we slept – not bad, eh?

The next day, it had stopped snowing, so we hopped in the buggy and cruised.

A wee bit chilly riding in the wind!

My mountain man – such a natural in the outdoors.

A couple of days later, the four of us took a road trip into town.

We saw lots of wildlife and deer are everywhere!

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I’ve known this precious friend–who is like a sister to me–for a loooong time! She be way crazier than me, y’all!

Taking this majestic view all in.

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A little disconcerting with some of the wiggly road signs!

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Oh, Lord! This reminded me of a scene in the movie, “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”… LOL

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A quick view of Stonewall.

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Girls just wanna shop until we drop!

Red River, NM – elevation 10,350’. Between my tender back and needing to breathe in all this altitude, I needed to rest!

I guess I be more of a city gal. LOL

Good morning all! Are you hungry? Best biscuit and gravy I’ve ever eaten made by Sandy’s hands!

Man talk!

Horsing around in Trinidad, CO.

We met and made new friends, Mike & Debra Messemer.

Debra’s creation: One-Pot Cheesy Italian Pasta & Chicken was delish!

She’s also a great baker and makes a variety of homemade preserves.

Our last night in Colorado.

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Well, I hope you enjoy the journey of my vacation to a little piece of heaven.

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

10 Comments

Filed under Weston Colorado

Tagged as adventure, bear country, friendship, getaway, relationship, snow, travel, vacationing, Weston Colorado

November 1, 2018 · 12:55 PM

Counting my Blessings

Just two years ago today, I received a phone call from my daughter that made my heart drop. She said “Pops” had fallen off a 20′ ladder that left him with 13 busted ribs, 4 cracked vertebrae, and both lungs partially collapsed. I sped to the job site just as the ambulance arrived to rush him to the hospital. Once there, they immediately inserted a tube in his lungs to inflate them so he could breathe. He remained for several days in ICU, battling for his life after getting an infection, along with a bout of pneumonia. But God! After a couple of weeks (that felt like the longest two weeks ever) he came home to finish mending!

If you have a moment, you can read about this story here

People, let go of the petty stuff and love your spouse!

Every day is a gift (from God), that’s why they call it the present.

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My Mountain Man!

Wintry Wonderland of Weston

Hi y’all!

Checkin’ in with my family, friends, & fans! I’m vacationing in Weston, CO with my husband and a couple of friends. More pictures to come! 🙂

What do you have going on this week?

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2 Comments

Filed under Vacation

Tagged as adventure, humor, life, mountains, relationship goals, snow, vacation

September 22, 2018 · 8:20 AM

She’s Always On My Mind

I remember first holding you, so tiny in my arms.
Next thing I knew, you turned two, angelic, and quite a charm.
Your silhouette dancing in my dreams before my eyes –
Remembering your joy with my simple lullabies.

I imagine your eyes, your voice, your laughter,
Spending time together, nothing else mattered.
Thinking about you often before crawling into bed at night,
I loved you so much, never wanting you out of my sight.

I wish you could tell me what’s on your mind today?
What are the things you’re longing to say?
Would you have married a wonderful husband?
Live in a castle and have many children?

Oh, if only, if only, I could see you now,
I would run to you, hold you tight, and twirl you around!

Oh, sister, there will always be a hole in my heart,
But I guess I knew that from the start.
If I still had you now to talk, share secrets, laugh, and cry
I would not be here now thinking: Why did you have to die?

Dear Readers:

As we approach the anniversary of my baby sister’s life and death, what I have shared is very dear and personal to my heart. As my eyes mist with tears, I still feel my heart burn heavily from missing her! But please understand that I do NOT “blame” God for my sister’s death! Our God is Sovereign and I believe that He allows certain things to happen to us for His greater plan and purpose. (Isa. 57: 1). After all, His ways are higher than our ways.

Now, I’m not by any means a theologian, a preacher, or a Bible teacher. I’m just a layman, a simple woman of faith, with a finite mind trying to serve an Infinite God. I know that it rains on the just and unjust (Matt. 5:45); bad things do happen to good people.

If I am to be honest, I don’t always understand the mind of God. Howbeit, I purpose in my heart to trust Him! And if I am to be truthful, yes, my heart does have a few unanswered questions. On occasions, in my journey of life, I have meltdowns, wallow in self-pity, and find myself clouded by doubts and fears. However, because of His steadfast love and His unfathomable mercy for me, I thank God that I don’t remain in that state of mind!

You see, I am a work in progress.

In memory of my sister who prematurely passed away 50 years ago by a hit-and-run driver. (To learn more of her story, click here.) She would have been ten years older than my first-born! I had to say goodbye to her when I was nine, just a month after she turned two years old. I remember so much pain and suffering as a child back then. In retrospect, I believe God may have spared her from something worse. I look forward to the Blessed Hope that one day we will embrace one another once again. She will not return to me, but I will go to her one day. And we will NEVER have to be apart.

8 Comments

Filed under Bereavement, Personal

Tagged as baby loss, death, Faith, Family, hit-and-run, hope, life, Loss of a Loved One, Matthew 5:45, memoir, mourn, Poetry, sibling loss

September 11, 2018 · 6:13 AM

I Will Never Forget

Sometimes an event occurs and time stands still.

I know I shall never forget …

September 2001:

I worked for two years for a reputable high-end floor and textile cleaning company. I started out as a receptionist and was then promoted to inside sales. I sported around in a Jeep Grand Cherokee and I’d been married for seven wonderful years. Mark had become a devoted Christian, and we attended church as a close-knit family. In April, we purchased our home southwest of Houston in Fort Bend County. Five months later, while driving to work, my tranquil life was interrupted by distress and unexpected terror.

On September 11^th, around 7:50 in the morning, I heard on the radio that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. As soon as I arrived at the office, I flicked on the TV to see the live broadcast of a massive hole in one tower caused by the plane’s impact. Co-workers gathered around and we couldn’t peel our eyes away from the screen. Black smoke billowed out of the building, soon engulfed by flames.

We heard what we didn’t want to hear and continued to see unbelievable images that will forever be etched in our minds. My heart plummeted as I saw a second plane hit the other tower. Buildings collapsed minutes later and we all gasped in horror knowing that hundreds—thousands—lost their lives.

That night, President Bush spoke powerful words: “Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward, and freedom will be defended.”

Freedom isn’t free, I thought, and freedom is worth any cost.

I thought about the word “freedom.” For the first time, in my own life, I truly felt free.

Free from my own past … Free from the clutches of loneliness. Free from wondering where the next meal was coming from. Free from being a prisoner in my own mind, a failing marriage, a broken home.

But I also knew that in a split second, a life could be gone. I experienced that harsh truth the day I lost my baby sister to a hit-and-run driver. I lived through the stark reality of nearly drowning twice as a youngster. I relived that nightmare every time my former husband abused me, and again, on the day he shot at me.

An excerpt of “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace” – Chapter 43

Your turn:

We ALL have a story. We each have our own memories.

Your turn. What is your memory of that fateful day?

1 Comment

Filed under 911, Memorial

Tagged as 911, freedom, memoir, Memorial, personal, President George W. Bush, reflection, September 11th, Twin Towers, World Trade Center

September 5, 2018 · 8:20 PM

Another Glorious Birthday

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Hello, faithful followers and fellow bloggers!

I just celebrated another birthday. As I mature, although not always pain-free, I am thankful to God for my health and for surrounding me with great friends and loved ones. My family continues to grow as my son recently married and I embrace my new daughter-in-love. I know in God’s perfect timing, a new little addition will be added…ah yeah!

Mostly, I am thankful to the Lord for restoring unto me the years the locust had eaten. For those of you who don’t know my story, I was once a neglected and lonely little girl. Life didn’t become easier for me as a teenager, and when I thought I had met my Prince Charming, I imagined he would whisk me away into a happily ever after. He hadn’t sown all his wild oats. He was an abusive man twice my age. Before I knew it, I felt trapped and was a 22-year-old with 4 children, the oldest then only 5 years old!

So yeah, I endured some hardships, but I learned a lot of lessons along the way. I am stronger today because of them. No matter what life has dealt me, I have always strived to become better instead of bitter. I believe we can turn stumbling blocks of defeat and difficulties into stepping stones of purpose and peace. I came across a quote that said: “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.” Let that sink in. Some of us remain miserable all our lives. I don’t want to be that person, do you?

Take one day at a time. No grit, no pearl. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose! Hold onto faith and keep on smiling. Have a grateful heart. Be thankful for the little things. Believe the best is yet to come. You ain’t seen nothing yet!

8 Comments

Filed under birthday celebration, perspective

Tagged as birthday, Cindy Crawford quote, encouragement, Faith, gratefulness, growth, personal, reflection

Video

The Land of The Free

America’s founding fathers envisioned a new nation that would become the land of the free and the home of the brave. On July 4th (Independence Day), we celebrate that freedom with fireworks, picnics, and baseball games. But, this video reminds us that true freedom comes from God, and that all of America’s blessings come from God. Let’s celebrate America, on July 4th, because “God shed His grace on thee”.

1 Comment

July 3, 2018 · 7:10 PM

Video

Overwhelmed

When I think about the Lord and all He’s done for me, I am overwhelmed by His mercy, goodness, love and grace!

I love basking in His presence!

3 Comments

June 23, 2018 · 8:24 AM

June 8, 2018 · 2:39 PM

Father’s Day Tribute

Dad: A son’s first hero. A daughter’s first love.

The fathers in my family are affectionately referred to as Dad, Daddy, and Papi. Newsflash: None are perfect! But each one represents love, courage, provision, and strength. Their eyes glow with purpose. Their smiles melt hearts. Their chest swells with pride. Their callous hands protect. They stand tall with dignity. And their embraces offer comfort and assurance. Yes, they are the pillars of our households.

It’s said that every man is trying to either live up to his father’s expectations or make up for his father’s mistakes. I’m not sure if that’s true. I only know that each man represented in my family strives to be the very best possible. Each holds a mantle and carries a torch for the next generation. Each dad represented in my family lays a solid foundation, even those who have crossed over to the other side. I can’t help but think about my own grandfathers. They were strong, respected, dedicated men with a constant presence. They left behind a legacy. When the tough got going, they didn’t cave under pressure. They persevere with Puerto Rican pride in every fiber of their being.

To the men in my family who are dads (and have yet to be): I love and admire each and every one of you. And to my dear husband, who married me with four children, I share this quote: “It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.” I salute you.

I salute you all.

Remember: Any man can be a father. But it takes a special person to be a dad.