I rarely think about my age. However, my body sure reminds me whenever I throw my back out. It also reminds me of when my knee pops. And yes, in the mirror, I sometimes notice an extra line here or another wrinkle there. I gaze upon certain areas of my physique. I wonder where “it” went and when “that” changed.
From time to time, I muse about my early years. I had to grow up so fast. Then, I had four small children in my teens and young adulthood. The next thing I knew, my twenties were gone, and my marriage was deteriorating. Divorced in my thirties – I felt like a failure, but the world did not end. I remarried by my mid-thirties. Thank God for new beginnings. I can shout from the rooftop that no marriage is so good that it can’t be made better! (You see, I’ve been married most of my life.) In my forties, I embraced the wonders of grand-parenting. In my fifties, I felt the notorious body aches and pains. I found myself being a caregiver to a dear little centenarian. She taught me about living one day at a time.
In my sixties, the seasons changed again for me. This time, I sadly had to say so long to my mama. Within three months, I embraced the wonders of great-grandparenting. And she is GREAT.
As I reflect on this aging process, I realize I don’t have all the answers. However, I believe I’ve learned a thing or two about what life has dealt me. Someone said, “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”
I read Psalms 90:12: “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” This passage speaks to me and tells me to make each day count. I must remember to live in the present, not the yesteryears or tomorrows. I must remember to laugh often, love deeply, pray sincerely, and believe that my best days are before me.
Another birthday has come and gone. I can’t help but think: Have I done all I ever wanted to do? Of course, the answer is a resounding no: not even close. Am I running out of time? That’s God’s business. I believe life is a gift from God, and I’ll take each day and cherish the moment. He is the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat, and every second chance. Each. And. Everyday.
I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds my tomorrow.
I am thankful for God’s goodness and the love I still see in my grown children’s eyes. I cherish the laughter of my grandchildren’s voices and the giggles of my great-granddaughter. The warmth of my husband’s embrace fills my heart. I am grateful for the scent of rain lingering in the air. The taste of grateful tears streaming down my cheeks reminds me of my joy. I am thankful for yet another year with loved ones and friends.
Someone said age is a myth and beauty is a state of mind. I like that.
May I grow old gracefully, forever blooming where I am planted,
one petal at a time.
“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grits and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez
Filed under Gift of Life
I have learned that there are seasons for everything. Emotions are up and down. Friends, relationships, and even marriages will come and go. But our God remains constant.
I previously blogged an insert from my book Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace. It mentioned Susie’s husband, who became my former husband’s uncommon German buddy. Their friendship lasted a lifetime. I witnessed a feat that God alone could accomplish in that man of mine back then. Did it go as I had hoped for in our marriage? No. But there were lessons learned, and I believe growth took shape inside of me.
Donny completed weeks of treatment for alcohol abuse as an inpatient at the VA Hospital. Afterward, another remarkable friendship soon began to take shape. A bond soon developed. Donny met Ronnie. He was one of the sweetest men I knew. Ronnie was married to Carolyn, the sweetest woman I knew (and still do). Known for being a “completed-Jew,” Ronnie loved Jesus and shared the love of Christ with others. Ronnie was not one to reserve his affection. He never shied away from giving Donny a couple of his bear hugs whenever they crossed paths. I believed that because Donny had no siblings, Ronnie’s warmth filled a void in him. Ronnie became the big brother he never had. There wasn’t anything one wouldn’t do for the other.
Donny had always been a giver, but spending time with Ronnie taught him genuine compassion. My former husband had a heart after all, and he had begun allowing others to see it. Carolyn assured me that Ronnie was also learning about his willingness to take risks from Donny. Our husbands were worlds apart, like salty pretzels and sugar cookies. Amazingly, we saw them caring for and loving each other as true brothers. It’s been said that God works in mysterious ways.
Years later, our dear friend Ronnie became gravely ill. After a few months, we were shocked and heartbroken to learn of his passing. The news shook Donny to the core. But one thing for certain remained. Donny had learned to love. He then grew to miss someone significant in his life. Undoubtedly, our dear friend Ronnie left a lasting mark; he blessed and affected all he met.
Sweet Carolyn, one of my sisters & forever friends with her sweet Ronnie!
Present: I recently had lunch with sweet Carolyn and reminisced about our husbands’ unique friendships those many years ago. We remembered how they had a mutual love and respect for one another. “They both loved to fish together,” Carolyn said, “and Donny was there if Ronnie ever needed help with anything physical.” Whatever the task, she commented on how Donny did it right and graciously. “Those two were peas in a pod,” Carolyn said, “they so enjoyed spending time together.” Indeed, they did, and for several years, Donny walked a straight line and had become accountable.
In retrospect, I learned that you might not remember what someone said. However, you will never forget how they made you feel, and that speaks volumes to this day.
As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend
Prov. 27:17
Filed under friendship
This has been a week of swirling events that boggle the mind.
I never liked hurricanes from my childhood days growing up in Miami. As an adult living in Houston, I certainly didn’t want them now.
We prepared for the anticipated Hurricane Beryl to cross our path. We filled our vehicles with gas. We went grocery shopping for water and all the necessities while supplies last. My husband filled our portable generator and several oil lanterns with fuel. We hunkered down, determined to make the best of the situation.
On Mon, July 8th, Hurricane Beryl made landfall around 3:30 a.m. The pelting rain on the windows woke us. She was a Category 1 storm with 80-mph damaging winds and beating down hard. In no time, the roads flooded and we had tornado warnings. At least 3 people were reported dead from this detrimental storm. Sure enough, we had a power outage. I looked at the time: 6:14 am. Thank goodness, my husband soon cranked up the generator. That generator kept both refrigerators running, the TV, a couple of fans, and my computer for work. Thankfully, our internet never went down.
That afternoon, we assessed our property for damages. Besides tree branches and leaves scattered across the backyard, our roof and wooden fence remained intact. We gladly helped a neighbor in two ways. We kept their meat in our freezer. We also charged their phone charger every day. Our gas stove cooked warm meals, and we used oil lanterns for light in the evenings.
When evening came, it was still cool enough from the heat. I opened the windows as I continued to work from home with a small fan blowing on me. But with each passing hour, the heat intensified, becoming an unwelcome distant cousin of Hurricane Beryl. Thank God for being able to take cool showers!
Over 2.4 million people were left without power. By Tuesday morning, 100% of the rain had come down, which meant we had to close the windows. We knew this delayed CenterPoint Energy from restoring our power. I tried to stay upbeat, but truthfully, I became irritable, gripping, and listless.
By day three, with our power still out, I drove to the office, as their power had been fully restored. I drove through my neighborhood that morning. I was flabbergasted to see all the debris, fallen branches, and uprooted trees. One tree had toppled over a house in my subdivision! My heart went out to that family. I realized that no matter the circumstances, it can always be worse. I asked the Lord to help me weather the aftermath of this storm.
Saturday – day six, and still no power. I was thankful for our ongoing generator. I worked half a day from home. I prepared a meal in the crockpot and relaxed in my recliner. I sat near the bedroom window to watch a Netflix series. Later that evening, my son ran in saying that Trump had been shot. My heart skipped a beat as I turned on the news. We remained glued to the TV. We watched and re-watched the horrific attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump. It happened at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania. The time was approximately 7:15 pm CDT.
Trump dodged a bullet when he turned his head at just the right moment. This resulted only in nicking his upper right ear. This was a close call – I believe – an act of divine intervention. God is not finished with him yet. The Secret Service rushed Trump off the stage into the SUV. He showed remarkable resiliency, courage, and strength. He encouraged the crowds cheering for him at the rally.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
We are not promised tomorrow. We can only live for today and strive to do our best with what we have been entrusted with. We all come from different walks of life. As a Christian, I certainly don’t have all the answers; in fact, I am left with more questions about today. The Bible says, “It rains on the just and unjust.” I know that my God is still on the throne. Nothing takes Him by surprise.
I thought about God’s protection and what being in the eye of the storm meant. There are many storms in this life. Storms can be so intense. If you let them, they’ll shake you to the core and rob you of your peace. They’ll take away your joy and even your sanity. May we learn to trust in the One who calms the seas and the storms, and rest in Him.
I am happy to report that a little past 8:00 p.m. on that same Saturday night, the power came back. Oh, and it returned to our area. This definitely was one emotionally taxing six days, and I am forever grateful this chapter is behind us.
“In order to realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.” Corrie ten Boom
Filed under Eye of the Storm
The fathers in my family are affectionately referred to as Dad, Daddy, and Papi. Newsflash: None are perfect! But each one signifies love, courage, provision, and strength. Their eyes glow with purpose. Their smiles melt hearts. Their chest swells with pride. Their callous hands protect. They stand tall with dignity. And their embraces offer comfort and assurance. Yes, they are the pillars of our households.
It’s said that every man is trying to live up to his father’s expectations. Alternatively, he is trying to make up for his father’s mistakes. I’m not sure if that’s true. I only know that each man represented in my family strives to be the very best possible. Each holds a mantle and carries a torch for the next generation. Each dad represented in my family lays a solid foundation, even those who have crossed over to the other side. I can’t help but think about my own grandfathers. They were strong, respected, dedicated men with a constant presence. They left behind a legacy. When the tough got going, they didn’t cave under pressure. They persevered with Puerto Rican pride in every fiber of their being.
To the men in my family who are dads: I love each of you. I admire each of you. To my dear husband, who married me with four children, I share this quote. “It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children. It takes strength to step up to the plate, another man left on the table.” I salute you.
I salute you all. Remember: Any man can be a father. But it takes a special person to be a dad.
And to the newest addition to our family, my grandson’s precious
little girl, who has made me a proud great-grandma!
Filed under Tribute to Fathers
Filed under Mama
I have always had a desire to visit Puerto Rico. It is known as “Isla del Encanto“, the “Island of Enchantment” and is the small island of my ancestors. This desire has been with me ever since I can remember. Plans to go failed over the years for one reason or another, but the third time was the charm!
Our first visit to Puerto Rico for our 30th wedding anniversary was set. After making the flight reservations and renting an Airbnb, we were so excited. We were thrilled to have some family members join us! Our baby girl, my lit’l brother, cousins, hubby, and I made the 6 of us. ¡Wepa!
These are the 6 fun-loving crazies enjoying our last evening together in Puerto Rico on the patio. We shared tons of stories, many delicious meals, and loads of laughter. We plan on getting together again, hopefully with even more family members.
I wholeheartedly loved our time in Puerto Rico and learning about its fascinating culture. I enjoyed the few excursions, which required much walking on cobblestone streets, narrow sidewalks, curb ramps, and steep hills. Visiting El Yunque Rainforest was truly enjoyable. Getting on a boat for my first snorkeling adventure, allowed me to see some of the wonders of marine life underwater. It was so worth it!
I found it interesting that the little chirping Coquí frogs are the national symbol for Puerto Rico. Just like the Puerto Rican people, they are resilient. Their voices are loud, and they will be heard! The Coquí is the perfect national symbol for Puerto Rico. It is a small island with a small frog. Yet, it has a BIG VOICE. Besides, these tiny creatures would have kept me up all night if I hadn’t had my earplugs on!
Filed under Puerto Rico, San Juan, Vacation
~ I loved you then ~ I love you now ~ And I always will ~
Here’s to our 30 years of matrimony of love, laughter, and adventure!
Filed under Wedding Annivesary
Donny was still in the VA Hospital for alcohol abuse. During that time, a wonderful family of five often invited the children and me to their home. Susan and I knew each other from church. She had such a bubbly personality, and I was instantly drawn to her. Her husband, Fred, born and raised in Germany, had a dry sense of humor but made me feel comfortable. After Donny completed treatment, they invited us over for dinner. Our husbands got to finally meet. We shared a delicious meal at the dinner table. The men engaged in small talk. I marveled in silence, taking it all in.
My husband back then was the pursuer. He continually sought Fred’s company. He offered his help with any home repairs and carpentry projects. Those two quickly hit it off and talked to each other freely. They spent most weekends on Fred’s aluminum boat fishing or hanging out at his lake house. They knew the struggles of alcohol and often shared stories about the victories and failures during their alone time. They discussed work, God, and family matters. Sometimes they simply shared a comfortable silence. Their understanding and respect for each other grew.
Friendships blossomed.
Bonds strengthened.
We wives were pleased. Susan and I often shared laughter mingled with tears as we prayed for our husbands, our children, and our community. We shared a common goal: We wanted so much more unity in our home. We celebrated as our families shared meals, barbecues, beach outings, and attended church activities together. Just like family.
Excerpt from “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace,” Chapter 37
Years later, Susan was there for me during abandonment and a painful but necessary divorce. I eventually picked up the pieces of my life. I found renewed love with Mark. He soon became my faithful husband, my second chance at love and happiness. As time passed, some 30 years later, Susan fell ill. Her family asked me to prepare a eulogy for her on their behalf, something I had NEVER done before. Here is that story: https://maryaperez.com/2015/12/23/so-long-for-now/
Filed under friendship
From Heart to Heritage
NEW! Book Club Edition
Reflexiones del Corazón
I just want to thank Mandy for making me a hero in her garden. I was deeply touch and wanted to share my appreciation by adding her link on my sidebar. Click the picture below to view her blog. . .
Reflections From the Heart 