Reflections From the Heart

October 26, 2017 · 10:53 PM

Run the Race

Hadn’t my grandparents always said, “Nothing worthwhile comes easy”?

At the track and field events, I earned each of my awards and ribbons. I’d raced along, my eyes on the mark. Momentum built as my arms pumped with energy and my long legs pounded the grassy field. The warmth from the sun’s rays kissed my face, and the breeze caressed my long, flowing hair. My mind, clear and free from worries, centered my concentration on one goal: crossing the finish line.

We took our places and lined up in a row, waiting for Coach’s command.

“ON YOUR MARK . . .”

Nerves hit the pit of my stomach.

“GET SET . . .”

I willed my mind to focus, my eyes fixed straight ahead.

“GO!”

We were off. My foot slipped; two of us bumped. I regained momentum, pumping my arms, elbows high. I needed to pace myself or I’d run out of wind. I decided to hold steady at a comfortable third place. I knew that if I stretched myself, I’d pick up speed and pass them one by one. Needed to time it just right.

Breathe. Keep your eyes on the back of their heads.

Don’t get in too much of a hurry.

Steady . . . Steady . . .

Not yet. Not yet.

Almost . . .

Now!

I passed one girl. Then another. A burst of energy flooded me as I gained a second wind. I closed in on the leader. I heard her breathing. The sound of our feet pounded the ground in unison, inches apart. It was now or never.

We came onto the turn – I moved to the right. Willing my legs to move faster, I passed her up, taking the lead. In record time, I beat her to the finish line!

That was me a hundred years ago. Strong. Perky. Ageless.

If I did it then — perhaps, just maybe — I can do it again, in whatever I set out my mind to do.

(excerpt from Running in Heels – A Memoir of Grit and Grace)
*** LIMITED TIME OFFER *** .99cents *** Kindle Edition ***

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“The moment I started it, I had echoes of ‘The Glass Castle’. This is recommended for anyone who loved Walls’ memoirs, as they have some strong parallels.” – Kath Cross (blogger).

3 Comments

Filed under Memoir

Tagged as dreams, goals, nostalgic, perserverance, racing, track and field

October 19, 2017 · 6:58 AM

I Am Woman

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love, and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

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The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope, and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
…THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

~ ANONYMOUS ~

Proverbs 14:1: Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands.

Note to my fans and followers
*** Running in Heels – A Memoir of Grit and Grace ***
*** LIMITED TIME OFFER *** .99cents *** Kindle Edition ***

* Amazon UK ** £0.90 ** LIMITED TIME OFFER ** £0.90 ** Amazon UK *

“The moment I started it, I had echoes of ‘The Glass Castle’. This is recommended for anyone who loved Walls’ memoirs, as they have some strong parallels.” – Kath Cross (blogger).

7 Comments

Filed under Values, women

Tagged as compassion, dignity, inner strength, life lessons, love, Proverbs 14:1, reflections, self-worth, Values, vital things, women

October 11, 2017 · 8:41 PM

Celebrating Mama

Someone said, Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can’t explain how broken your heart is.

We recently celebrated Mama’s birthday. While the company and the food were great, I saw Mama in a different light. It pained me to see her that way. Although she had a smile on her face, her eyes reflected pain and discomfort.

Mama is aging and more feeble with time. She’s more of a shut-in these days, and she can barely move. Many thoughts go through my head, along with memories of my difficult childhood past. But that was then, and this is now. Mama is Mama – and she’s my Mama. I’ll take her any way I can get her – flaws and all. Hell, I even have flaws! But what troubles me is not what she and I have gone through together; what troubles me is the present. She is afraid to say what ails her. She doesn’t like the idea of going to a hospital, nor the thought of possibly living in a nursing home one day. She’d rather suffer alone than discuss her ailments with a doctor. I don’t know what to do. She’s never been an easy patient, and she is stubborn.

I. Feel. Hopeless.

I’m praying that the Lord will show us what to do and that Mama will be at peace. I just want her to know that she’s loved and that we want only the best for her. I need her to feel safe and secure and to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she does not have to fear. Fear has torment. It will consume the mind and crush any hope one might dare to have. Fear troubles the heart and makes one weary.

I believe God is bigger than our fears. I believe He wants us to cast all of our troubles to Him and not grow weary. We are not immune to the sufferings of this life, but because of the Lord, there is always hope. All He asks is that we put our trust in Him and lay our burdens down at His feet. He says to trust Him and lean not unto our own understanding. Not always an easy feat, I admit.

Words may escape me at times. I may grow impatient and miscommunicate my true intentions; my grit and courage may fall short. But while I have breath in my being, I will never give up on the goodness of God! We are a work in progress. I know He will make a way. Look how far He has brought us – He’s not finished with any of us yet!

I. Feel. Hopeful.

I choose to allow forgiveness to remain in my heart. While Mama is still here, I will let her know that she is valued and loved. While it’s true that our roles may have been reversed, she’s still my Mama. And you know what?

I. Still. Need. My. Mama.

So, Mama, I celebrate you. Hand in hand, we will find a way to make everything all right.

I. Love. You.

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Note to my fans and followers
*** Running in Heels – A Memoir of Grit and Grace ***
*** LIMITED TIME OFFER *** .99cents *** Kindle Edition ***

* Amazon UK ** £0.90 ** LIMITED TIME OFFER ** £0.90 ** Amazon UK *

“The moment I started it, I had echoes of ‘The Glass Castle’. This is recommended for anyone who loved Walls’ memoirs, as they have some strong parallels.” – Kath Cross (blogger).

10 Comments

Filed under Birthday Mama

Tagged as Christianity, familia, Family, forgiveness, inspiration, Musing, personal, reflections, Relationships

September 30, 2017 · 8:16 AM

We bleed. We laugh. We cry.

Thinking about how far this writing journey has taken me since publishing my memoir two years ago, still brings a thrill to my heart! And I am humbled. I am forever grateful and cherish the entire process.

I am not unique. Everyone has a story. God can take your life of peril and turn it into a life of promise. If you have a pulse, then you have a purpose. You don’t have to be ashamed of your pain or remain alone. If others don’t know your pain, they can’t possibly understand your praise.

Do you have a voice? Use it. Do you have a platform? Own it. You are uniquely and beautifully you! God don’t make no junk! Be a light to someone. Bring hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the destitute. Even if someone’s life is perfect, it doesn’t mean they have it all together. We are humans. We all bleed. We all laugh. We all cry, and we long for compassion.

We. Need. One. Another.

Some lovely women from Hope Lutheran Church recently invited me to speak and share my story at their ladies guild group. They welcomed me with open arms and I felt right at home! They were warm, friendly, and attentive. They blessed me!

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Filed under Running in Heels, Speaking Event

Tagged as Author, Hope Lutheran Church, Inspirational, journey, memoir, Overcoming obstacles, Speaking Event, stronger together, writer, writers platform

September 13, 2017 · 9:43 PM

My Guardian Angel

Torrential rain unnerved me as I drove along the highway. The downpour hammering on the roof of the car echoed in my eardrums. I turned up the radio. My car’s wipers were stuck at a slow speed, hindering my vision and distracting me. Driving in the far right lane, I leaned forward, both hands clutching the steering wheel, and wondered how late I—

Suddenly, the taillights in front glowed red. The driver slammed on his brakes. Automatically, I hit mine, but they locked up. The back end of the car in front loomed closer.

I cannot hit them! So, doing what any sensible driver would have done (or not), I aimed for the concrete divider, swinging sharply to the right.

My car plowed into that barrier. The tires screeched and drowned out the screams in my head. I skidded out of control at 180 degrees before stalling in the middle lane—facing on-coming traffic.

My world slammed to a stop.

The wipers still swished lethargically back and forth across the freshly cracked windshield. Music blared over the radio. My mind was in a daze; I glanced in the rear-view mirror.

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I was thankful that Anna Marie appeared unscathed, apart from the fear in her moist eyes.

“It’s okay, Anna, don’t cry. Mommy’s gonna get us out of here.”

I made a quick assessment of the wreckage: the hood had flown open; the front end was caved in; the right headlights busted.

I rolled down the window to stick my head out and became drenched by pelting rain and the splash from a truck hurtling past.

Headlights from cars beamed as they swerved to miss us, terrifying me even more. Soaked and trembling with my nerves on edge, I thought, Lord, how am I going to get the car off the road without causing a bigger accident?

I wasn’t even sure my car would budge.

Vehicles roared by, but one slowed and stopped. With headlights practically blinding me, the driver left his emergency lights blinking; he exited his car and made his way toward me, hunkering down from the rainfall. He scanned the inside my car, his eyes alarmed, yet warm.

“Miss, are you all right? Is your little girl okay?”

“Yes . . . yes, I think so,” I scarcely heard my own voice say.

“Put your emergency lights on. Need to get you out of this traffic.”

I nodded and watched my angel head back to his car and pull over onto the shoulder. When the coast cleared, he ran across the freeway and opened my door. I scooted over. He climbed in behind the wheel and proceeded to veer my Plymouth across three lanes, out of on-coming traffic, and onto the shoulder. Finally, in reverse, he maneuvered my car to the off-ramp.

After prying the hood back down to shut it, I thanked my rescuer and climbed behind the wheel. I plodded down the road, praying a cop wouldn’t pull me over.

Years later I still recall: When I needed help the most, a total stranger—or perhaps a guardian angel—came to my rescue and showed me compassion.

10 Comments

Filed under Guardian Angel, In Times Like This, Memoir, Running in Heels

Tagged as Accident, angels, car wreck, cracked windshield, driving, Kindness, pelting rain, Saving Grace

August 31, 2017 · 1:09 PM

Hurricane Harvey – 8/26/17

Once again, childhood memories of sharing my birthday with yet another devastating hurricane resurfaced.

The rains came and the floodwaters rose, while we were out of town on vacation for my birthday week. My eldest daughter and Mom remained at the house with a generator. We received continued updates, videos, texts, and photos regarding the storm’s status, which left us unnerved and on edge. Thank God, for the report from home that offered a few moments of levity:

“OK Mom, we lost power.”

“Grandma is stuck in the Power Lift chair.”

“One fridge is out.”

“Pool in the back and in the front yard.”

“Water is about a foot within the house.”

“We are good so far.”

“Grandma is like, ‘You said we were gonna have ice cream at midnight …!'”

“No internet.”

“Water level is down.”

“Some water seepage, possible foundation issues due to flooding.”

“Was able to go for a quick gas run.”

“The Mayor of Houston has imposed a curfew … Grandma and I were gonna go out!”

“Electricity! Yay!”

Soon we’ll be headed back home, taking the routes with less flooding for travel. My heart and mind are filled with conflicting emotions. I am thankful to the Lord for watching over my loved ones, knowing that many lives were tragically impacted by this hurricane due to the flood waters. I also realize as hard as it is, losing stuff pales in comparison to losing loved ones. May we count our blessings – still having those safe and sound that means the most, well, everything else just seems petty.

My prayer: May our roots be grounded in faith strong enough not to be overwhelmed, even during the storms of life.

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From the end of the earth will I cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

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Filed under Hurricane Harvey

Tagged as #HoustonStrong, #TexasProud, catastrophic flooding, childhood fears, emotions, Family, Hurricane Harvey, personal, Psalm 61, troubles

August 21, 2017 · 8:05 PM

Bump in the Night

In our tiny efficiency, as I lay in pitch darkness, my eyes remained open, growing accustomed to the dark. The yellow moon peeked through the window shade. Eerie shadows traveled across the walls and bounced off a tattered chair whenever headlights from cars passed by.

Mama and I shared a narrow bed then. Because my stepdad, Warren had “accidents” in bed at night, he slept on the opposite one from us. Like the sound of a freight train, his incessant snoring rattled my eardrums. Asleep in her underwear, Mama’s gentle snoring came in spurts. Those sounds became my lullaby in the evenings, lulling me to sleep.

But not tonight.

I was never afraid during the night, but with a sense of foreboding I couldn’t shake off, I got up and propped a chair under the doorknob. Time passed. Thump! The chair toppled over and my heart hammered against my chest. Then I heard the knob turn and the door creaked. The hair on my scalp pricked me.

In the dark, I turned ever so slowly, peering through half-closed lids.

The silhouette of Warren’s weird friend crawled, cat-like, on all fours. He inched his way closer. And closer. Warren snorted and rolled over. El Creepo froze. Then he continued his way toward Mama. His hand reached her leg and started feeling upward . . .

With sheer determination, I hopped up, screaming at the top of my lungs. Like a wild animal caught in blinding light, El Creepo jumped and made a beeline toward the door. He crashed into a chair, tripped over the box fan, and then collided with the dresser before hightailing out. Crying and shaken out of my wits, I turned the light switch and called out to my parents in zombie-land, to no avail. It took a long time before I shut my eyes.

The next morning, I gave a full report. With stupefied faces and mouths agape, they attempted to process my words.

“What?” Mama shrieked. “I didn’t hear anything!”

“Mama, he touched you!”

“How did he . . . ?” Warren stammered.

Mama gave him a dirty look. “The door doesn’t have a lock, you dope, remember?”

“Well, you just wait ‘till I see that jerk again,” Warren hinted, getting up to check the knob.

One may think that this frightening episode caused a rude awakening in my party-animal parents. It changed nothing. Sometimes, I think Mama didn’t know what to do with me. Some days she wanted me close. Other days she didn’t.

Excerpt from Chapter 5 in “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace”
© M.A. Pérez 2017, All Rights Reserved

3 Comments

Filed under Memoir, reflection

Tagged as childhood, childhood memories, excerpt, frighten, innocence, memoir, memoir writer, personal, Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

August 12, 2017 · 12:00 AM

Gone a Year, but Not Forgotten

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In Memory of our dear, Queen Elizabeth – Forever in our hearts

January 6, 1911 – August 12, 2016

Though her smile is gone forever

And her hand we cannot touch

Still we had so many memories,

Of the one we loved so much.

Her memory is our keepsake,

With which we’ll never part;

God has her in His keeping,

We have her in our heart.

Oh, Those Golden, Centenarian Years!

Stay the Course

Help!

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

I don’t understand …

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

I don’t think I can anymore …

“All things are possible to them that believe.”

What’s the point?

“I will make a way when there seems to be no way.”

I can’t!

“You can do all things through Christ.”

I’m tired!

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

I feel so alone!

“I will never leave you or forsake you.”

I am weak!

“Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might”

I am so scared!

“Fear not, for I am with you.”

I feel so inadequate …

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Useless!

“Those who know their God shall be strong and do great exploits.”

Too much pain!

“I heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.”

Darkness!

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness.”

My situation is hopeless!

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.”

I can’t see my way out!

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

Why?

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

It’s too hard!

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.”

No one cares …

“But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Or listens …

“It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.”

I am invisible.

“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.”

It hurts too much!

“I will wipe away all tears from their eyes. There will be no more death, no more grief or crying or pain. The old things have disappeared.”

I feel like I’m dying!

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I. Can’t. Go. On.

“My grace is all you need, for My power is greatest when you are weak.”

What is the meaning of life?

“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Doesn’t anyone care?

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

My plans, hopes, desires, and dreams have failed!

“My ways are higher than your ways.”

I don’t know …

“Come unto Me and I will show you things you know not of.”

I want to finish well …

“Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

5 Comments

Filed under Blessed Hope, encouragement, Faith, God, Hope, Prayer

Tagged as Bible verses, Compass, encouragement, Faith, God, hope, Inspirational, refuge, strength

July 26, 2017 · 9:31 PM

The Birthday Boy

Hello, my fellow blog followers and fans!

Sometimes life throws you a curveball – sometimes you duck, and sometimes it hits you right upside your head. How you react will determine what kind of player you are.

So what do you do when fear knocks on your door? Do you face your giant, or do you stick your head in the sand? Remember there are two sides to F.E.A.R.: Forget Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise. Takes grit, doesn’t it? More importantly, it takes God’s grace, too.

Eight months prior, was such a trying time for us with the emotional roller-coaster from one minute to the next. We weren’t sure what the next second would bring, let alone the next day. The days and nights were difficult ones. But I’m here to tell you that the support, prayers, and genuine love from family and friends made all the difference in the world! And I am happy to report that my husband is a walking miracle; (read about it here), and I am so thankful for the goodness and mercy of God.

I recently threw a surprise party for the Birthday Boy, also called the Miracle Man, with many of our close and precious friends. It was an incredible turnout and my hubby was indeed taken by surprise. He couldn’t believe how many people were able to keep the secret from him! Whew!

On July 21st, we celebrated Mark’s life. And I would like to share some of those moments with you through this slide.

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