Tag Archives: reminiscing

Happy Birthday to Mama in Heaven

Dear Mama,

It’s been three years since you’ve been gone from us … you would have turned 91 years old today. I know you are celebrating the best birthday ever. On this day, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday in heaven.

I hope you know you are sorely missed. It’s no secret we’ve been through some hard times together. Although you weren’t the perfect mother, I wasn’t the perfect daughter. Perhaps, we were perfect for each other. I pretty much miss everything about you! Never thought I’d say, even your bickering over something or about someone. I miss buying you trinkets, pretty blouses, and taking you to a nice restaurant. It was good to help you forget problems and enjoy your special day. Making you smile meant everything to me.

In the end, it hurt to let you go, but seeing you suffer in pain was worse. I asked the Lord that you’d still be around on Mother’s Day. And God called you home in time; it was on Mother’s Day at 3 pm. You are totally healed now. You have no more pain. There is no discomfort, or tears, or worry. You are with your Savior and loved ones who have gone on before you. Please send them all my love.

I will never forget you. Sending you kisses and all my love, Mama.

Always your Little Girl.

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I Miss My Baby Sister

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Embracing the Seasons

I rarely think about my age. However, my body sure reminds me whenever I throw my back out. It also reminds me of when my knee pops. And yes, in the mirror, I sometimes notice an extra line here or another wrinkle there. I gaze upon certain areas of my physique. I wonder where “it” went and when “that” changed.

From time to time, I muse about my early years. I had to grow up so fast. Then, I had four small children in my teens and young adulthood. The next thing I knew, my twenties were gone, and my marriage was deteriorating. Divorced in my thirties – I felt like a failure, but the world did not end. I remarried by my mid-thirties. Thank God for new beginnings. I can shout from the rooftop that no marriage is so good that it can’t be made better! (You see, I’ve been married most of my life.) In my forties, I embraced the wonders of grand-parenting. In my fifties, I felt the notorious body aches and pains. I found myself being a caregiver to a dear little centenarian. She taught me about living one day at a time.

In my sixties, the seasons changed again for me. This time, I sadly had to say so long to my mama. Within three months, I embraced the wonders of great-grandparenting. And she is GREAT.

As I reflect on this aging process, I realize I don’t have all the answers. However, I believe I’ve learned a thing or two about what life has dealt me. Someone said, “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

I read Psalms 90:12: “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” This passage speaks to me and tells me to make each day count. I must remember to live in the present, not the yesteryears or tomorrows. I must remember to laugh often, love deeply, pray sincerely, and believe that my best days are before me.

Another birthday has come and gone. I can’t help but think: Have I done all I ever wanted to do? Of course, the answer is a resounding no: not even close. Am I running out of time? That’s God’s business. I believe life is a gift from God, and I’ll take each day and cherish the moment. He is the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat, and every second chance. Each. And. Everyday.

I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds my tomorrow.

I am thankful for God’s goodness and the love I still see in my grown children’s eyes. I cherish the laughter of my grandchildren’s voices and the giggles of my great-granddaughter. The warmth of my husband’s embrace fills my heart. I am grateful for the scent of rain lingering in the air. The taste of grateful tears streaming down my cheeks reminds me of my joy. I am thankful for yet another year with loved ones and friends.

Someone said age is a myth and beauty is a state of mind. I like that.

May I grow old gracefully, forever blooming where I am planted,
one petal at a time.

“Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grits and Grace” by Mary A. Pérez

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Susie

Donny was still in the VA Hospital for alcohol abuse. During that time, a wonderful family of five often invited the children and me to their home. Susan and I knew each other from church. She had such a bubbly personality, and I was instantly drawn to her. Her husband, Fred, born and raised in Germany, had a dry sense of humor but made me feel comfortable. After Donny completed treatment, they invited us over for dinner. Our husbands got to finally meet. We shared a delicious meal at the dinner table. The men engaged in small talk. I marveled in silence, taking it all in.

My husband back then was the pursuer. He continually sought Fred’s company. He offered his help with any home repairs and carpentry projects. Those two quickly hit it off and talked to each other freely. They spent most weekends on Fred’s aluminum boat fishing or hanging out at his lake house. They knew the struggles of alcohol and often shared stories about the victories and failures during their alone time. They discussed work, God, and family matters. Sometimes they simply shared a comfortable silence. Their understanding and respect for each other grew.

Friendships blossomed.

Bonds strengthened.

We wives were pleased. Susan and I often shared laughter mingled with tears as we prayed for our husbands, our children, and our community. We shared a common goal: We wanted so much more unity in our home. We celebrated as our families shared meals, barbecues, beach outings, and attended church activities together. Just like family.

Excerpt from “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace,” Chapter 37

Years later, Susan was there for me during abandonment and a painful but necessary divorce. I eventually picked up the pieces of my life. I found renewed love with Mark. He soon became my faithful husband, my second chance at love and happiness. As time passed, some 30 years later, Susan fell ill. Her family asked me to prepare a eulogy for her on their behalf, something I had NEVER done before. Here is that story: https://maryaperez.com/2015/12/23/so-long-for-now/

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Thanksgiving Day – 2023

We had to say so long to Mama 6 1/2 months ago … on Mother’s Day … at 3 P.M. to be exact. After much prayer and reflection, I tried to brace myself for the end. It still shook me to the core. As a Christian, I know she received the best Mother’s Day gift and no longer suffers. I have no doubt she is in a much better place without pain and illnesses. She is dancing on the streets of gold. She is seeing her Savior face to face. She is reuniting with loved ones who had gone on before her. I am thankful to the Lord that Mama finished the race. And I know that I will see her again. But the pain of missing her still lingers on.

Sadly to say, two of her sons–my half-brothers–were constantly on her mind. They had lived a hard life, incarcerated. Her youngest barely made parole after 27 years. I’m glad he was able to spend some time with her. He saw Mama at the end and attended her Memorial Service. The next-to-youngest wasn’t so fortunate and didn’t have that luxury. Although he is now out of prison, he is in the beginning stages of grieving for Mama, trying to process it all.

If I’m to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to have Thanksgiving with them in my home. I certainly didn’t want any more drama. I just didn’t know what to expect! Too many years had gone by. The two brothers hadn’t spent quality time together for over 30 years. Yet, I knew Mama would have wanted this for them: for us to all be together again. And so, I asked for prayer at my church, for the grace and the strength to carry it through. You see, I knew in my own strength that I was powerless.

I wrote out the holiday menu, went grocery shopping, and did lots of prepping. That afternoon, my daughter and son helped with some of the recipes. I spent 6 hours in the kitchen the night before! Hubby got up at 2 am to smoke the turkey, and I finished cooking that morning. Daughter and son scooped up the brothers separately and brought them to our home around noon.

We all embraced, and the brothers were surprised to see each other. Heated words were exchanged. It felt awkward at first. But, as my son said, some things needed to be spoken and released. We reminisced as serene conversations commenced. Pictures were soon taken, and we found ourselves laughing. The smoked turkey, ham, and side dishes were spread out on the dinner table. Then, we stood in a circle, united. We took turns praying for both of them. When it was time to grub, my goodness, can my brothers eat! They devoured every morsel until they couldn’t. Afterward, we played a board game and then dug into the desert.

At the end of the day, I think something afresh ignited in our hearts.

Google says gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It also means readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.

Sometimes you must put your feelings aside and do something out of love and gratitude. The Lord has been so good and blessed us in countless ways! This selfless action made a difference on my part – my pettiness had to get out of the way. Lord knows I had prayed enough, so it was time to put my faith into action. The Lord has blessed me to be a blessing to others. It was time to be a blessing, a time of giving, a time of love.

Life is made up of moments. I am thankful for my family and the gift of life. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. We all come from different walks of life; no one is better than the other. May we find joy in the simplest of things. Easy? Not always. Possible? Yes! Because He lives, we can face our tomorrows!

Someone said: Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.

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In the Midst of the Storm

Hurricane Cleo struck Miami with 100-mile-per-hour winds in late August 1964. Fallen branches and debris flew across the yard. The pelting rain rattled against our old wooden door and the thin, sheet glass-pane windows.

My stepdad, Jimmy placed a dresser against the front door to our efficiency apartment to keep it from flying open. Mama and I hunkered down in the dark bathroom like cornered animals. I sat on the floor with my knees pulled up. I covered my ears with my hands. I tried to drown out the deafening gusts of wind. My mama’s panicking cries also filled the air.

In the same instant that I closed my eyes, thoughts tumbled through my mind. I thought, Gosh, today is my birthday. I am five years old. Mama said I’m a ‘big girl’ now.

________________________________________________________

In the year 1969, a powerful storm struck ten days before my tenth birthday. It was the second most intense hurricane on record to hit the United States. Hurricane Camille, a Category 5, had all of South Florida feeling her wrath.

My step-daddy, Mama, and I took shelter in the gymnasium of Miami Edison High School. Many people talked in loud voices. Confused and frightened children fussed and cried. They clung to their mama’s skirts and their daddy’s necks to ride out the storm.

I sat on a floor mat, glancing around. I clutched my raggedy doll and our meager chow in a sack. Inside, there was a single loaf of Wonder Bread and a jar of Welch’s Grape Jelly. When My step-daddy suggested that I offer some to another girl close by, I recoiled. You see, even in normal times, sharing food wasn’t so easy for me.

Comfort and tranquility were as far away from me as the moon. They blew past like shingles from the roofs of so many homes. Those homes felt Camille’s fury.

The above are excerpts of my memoir. Even after all these years later, I still get a bit skittish during rainstorms, let alone hurricanes. Me no like, and as you can see, have never liked them.

Currently, the National Hurricane Center forecast are saying–not one but–two storms are brewing in the Gulf of Mexico! What if they collide with each other and spin around each other, becoming one? This Texas Two-Step is known as a Fujiwhara effect. Go figure!

My heart and prayers go out to all those affected by these storms; whatever type of storm they may be: sickness, trials, trouble, distress, turmoil, heartache or pressure. This is not easy for everyone–me included–but may I encourage you to allow God to give you peace in the midst of the storms.

I am reminded what scripture says: Isaiah 26:3-4: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You; because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.” 

 

 

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Touched by an Angel

I ADORED MY little sister growing so fast. To see her beaming face at the window highlighted my day after school. She always reached up to carry my books, no matter how heavy. After we shared a snack, then time for homework. Anna took naps or played alone, while I finished my studies. Then we’d go out for a walk.

She loved the outdoors. Our outings became adventures—it made me feel good to see her hopping and skipping alongside me. If something piqued her curiosity, we stopped, whether it was to find a fallen bird’s nest or to watch a worm squirm under a rock to hide. We’d listen to the mockingbirds while we gathered sprigs of white wildflowers, and the red hibiscus and puffy yellow marigolds in bloom, smelling their fragrance before taking some home for Mama.

Anna cheerfully greeted everyone we passed. “What a beautiful angel she is,” they’d say. Her enchanting smile and deep blue, watchful eyes mesmerized me. The warmth of her merry laughter penetrated hearts, including mine. “She’s my sister,” I’d proudly boast. Anna’s countenance radiated joy. I cherished her carefree spirit and relished her innocence.

Since Mama stayed in bed until the afternoons, Anna and I usually ate a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast. We’d watch Sesame Street on the black-and-white tube. Whenever Big Bird appeared, my sister squealed and clapped. Then when Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood came on, we sang along with him.

We ate our meals sitting on cushions on the floor. We didn’t have a scheduled time to eat. Chow time consisted of simple bologna sandwiches, a heated can of SpaghettiOs, or sometimes a can of tomato soup. On special occasions, we ate Swanson chicken TV dinners.

Mama expected me to care for my sister. In the evenings, when she and Jimmy went out, Anna and I stayed home by ourselves. We’d lay on the floor to color or play inside our blanket tent, having tea parties with our plastic cups. I sometimes read aloud, making up the words I didn’t know. We stayed up until we grew sleepy.

Whatever we did, doing it together was more fun than being alone.

One particular evening, as I gazed into my sister’s baby-blues, a sudden feeling of sorrow swept over me. Tears clouded my eyes. Something burned within my chest. I cried out, “Please God, don’t let nothing bad happen to her!”

Anna gazed at me with her gentle, trusting eyes.

“I’ll protect you,” I whispered to her. “For always.”

Before bedtime, we repeated a child’s prayer Grandma taught me, one that hung on the wall:

“. . . I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep . . .”

That night I clung to my sister and kept the strange premonition to myself.

Excerpt of Chapter 4: The Little Green Dress in Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

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In memory of my angel, my sister born Sept. 23, 1966.
Taken too soon from us on Oct. 22, 1968.
I’ll love you forever, for true and for always.

“I shall go to her, but she shall not return to me.”
2 Sam. 12:23

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Prayers for the Birthday Boy

Photo credit by Leo Laredo Photography

This is for you Grandson, Ryan.

Mimi can hardly believe how much of a young man you have grown to be. We are all so very proud of all your accomplishments and look forward with great anticipation to what is yet to come.

Where has the time gone? I shall never forget when you were around six years of age and attended a holiday outing with me and Papa. I invited you to go for a spin on the dance floor. You were a bit shy then and did not want to. I smiled at your sweet face and simply said that as I become older, I may not be able to move around as much and we will never have that dance … You delighted Mimi’s heart by not hesitating and pulled me to the dance floor! While others looked on, taking photos of us slow dancing that night, I beamed with pride.

Play it forward 10 years to the present – you are quite the mature teenager, way too cool, so much so that you amaze me with your whit. Matter of fact, it was just recently that you were standing by listening to your mom, auntie and I chit-chatting the way we normally do. As you observed how animated we are (after all we are Latina women), you exclaimed how the three of us are so “extra” when we talk. We laughed at that remark. We realized that maybe we are … but you know what? I have an extra remarkable grandson whom I love with all my heart!

May you continue in your journey to being more remarkable than today.
Happy Birthday, Ryan.


Dear Lord, on this day, that we celebrate Ryan’s birth, I pray for blessings and joy over him.

You knew everything about him before his birth and You have a plan of prosperity and hope for his life!

Let him feel confident and ready for the year ahead knowing that You have an order to his steps and a purpose for his life.

Help him to find joy in every circumstance in life, knowing that You work all things out for good.

I thank You, God, for Ryan, for loving him with unconditional love, and for the promises You have spoken over his life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Counting my Blessings

Just two years ago today, I received a phone call from my daughter that made my heart drop. She said “Pops” had fallen off a 20′ ladder that left him with 13 busted ribs, 4 cracked vertebrae, and both lungs partially collapsed. I sped to the job site just as the ambulance arrived to rush him to the hospital. Once there, they immediately inserted a tube in his lungs to inflate them so he could breathe. He remained for several days in ICU, battling for his life after getting an infection, along with a bout of pneumonia. But God! After a couple of weeks (that felt like the longest two weeks ever) he came home to finish mending!

If you have a moment, you can read about this story here

People, let go of the petty stuff and love your spouse!

Every day is a gift (from God), that’s why they call it the present.

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My Mountain Man!

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Best Daddy Ever: My Hero

As a young girl, I knew I had the best Daddy in the world. Although my parents were divorced, throughout the years, he’d come for me.

I loved it when he took me to the parks. My daddy may have been short, but he was a big kid at heart and had loads of fun. He had a knack for mimicking different sounds. Children laughed whenever he cried out like Tarzan on the jungle gym. He wouldn’t hesitate to push me high on the swing. I squealed with delight when he ran in front and scrambled away right in time before I could kick him. He’d twirl me on the merry-go-round until we couldn’t go anymore and tumbled on the ground from exhaustion. Me from laughing hard; him from running in circles.

Daddy worked as the produce manager in a huge grocery chain store. He was a hard worker and a model employee. A friendly, robust, people-person, he never grew tired of chatting with his customers and telling them jokes. His dark eyes twinkled with glee. The mirth in his thick Puerto Rican accent, combined with his animated personality, charmed all.

Sometimes Daddy caused havoc, but always in fun. He often mimicked the sound of a kitten near the produce stand at work to see the children’s reactions. Once an elderly woman hunted everywhere for the pobrecito. Then another time while whistling like a bird, he had customers looking up for one. He even imitated a newborn’s cry.

“Excuse me, sir, but don’t you hear a baby crying somewhere?” a worried customer asked.

“A baby? No, no,” he answered. “No baby over here.” Daddy chuckled as he related to me how he watched the mystified customer walk away, shaking her head.

Daddy told me the story when a little boy in a shopping cart kept staring at him the whole time, while his mother across the aisle weighed her vegetables.

“I smiled at da boy and asked his name, but he dun say noteen,” Daddy explained. “He just keep lookin’ and lookin’ at me, like I’m ugly or somethin’.”

“Then what did you do?” I asked and chuckled.

“I dun do noteen . . .” Daddy’s eyes twinkled.

“Go on,” I persisted, knowing of his pranks.

“I just smiled big and stuck out my bottom dentures at da boy.”

“No, Daddy, you didn’t!” I laughed, remembering him doing that very thing before, enough to startle anyone.

“Yeah, but then da boy started cryin’, so I got outta there fast,” Daddy said guiltily. “I dunno where I get these jokes. You got a funny papi, eh?”

“Yeah.” I giggled. “Muy loco, all right. Tell me the story about the goat sucker in Puerto Rico,” I said, wiping my eyes.

“¡Oh, si!” Daddy exclaimed, slapping his thigh. “¡El Chupacabra! Dis thin’ dat went round to all the animales suckin’ their blood dry.”

“Yep, that’s the one,” I said.

“Man, da people get so scared and say it’s some kind of diablo. They say, ‘sierra la puerta’, close your door, El Chupacabra is goin’ to suck your blood!”

“Ya ever see one, Daddy?”

“No, no, I never see dat thin’ in my life.” He chuckled and added, “I dunno if I believe it.”

“Well, it’s sure an awful scary story.” I shuddered at the possibilities.

Yes, my daddy has always been a natural-born storyteller. I could sit and listen to him for hours. “Tell me again about the first time you left Puerto Rico on the plane.”

“When I left my hometown Utuado in 1952?” His eyes flickered miles away, as he mused. “Flyin’ in dat two-engine airplane made me so scared. I needed to go to el baño so bad. The stewardess want to tell me somteen. Pues, I dunno what she say; I dunno any English then. She talk louder but I dun understand; I just wanna go. I try to make her understand me, so I jell to her, ‘I no spic inglish! I no spic inglish!’” 

As I listened to his broken English, I laughed until my sides ached and my eyes watered.

“Daddy, you didn’t know how to speak English when you were nineteen?”

“No hija, I didn’. Later, my cousin in New York explained to me that da stewardess just wanted me to put my seatbelt on. Ay bendito nene,” Daddy laughed. “I didn’ understand noteen.”

“Hey Papi,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Ya know what?”

“¿Que mi vida?”

“Ya still have an accent.”10493030_10204788142091228_5602024329688824434_o

“Ju tellin’ me, man.” He laughed.

Thirty years later:

My world shattered into a thousand fragments.

Along with my heart.

My hopes.

Dreams.

How so? When my former husband blurted, “I’m just not happy.”

After many heated words and screaming fits, I was relieved when he stormed out of the house. I felt ashamed knowing Daddy and my stepmother was visiting and within earshot in the guestroom had heard everything. By the time I went downstairs, Daddy was on his knees praying in Spanish by the bed. I stood by the doorway listening to his prayer, forgetting to move. Daddy, crying, glanced up and reached out his hand toward me. I went to him and collapsed, sobbing.

That day was Father’s Day, 1991.

The following day at the airport heartbroken and devastated, as we kissed and hugged to say our goodbyes, words stuck in my throat. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure what to do. But my daddy’s silence comforted me and it was enough. He wrapped strong, loving arms around me. I was a few inches taller but felt smaller. At that moment, I wished I could stay in his arms and be a little girl again.

Today, with Father’s Day soon approaching, I remember how special my daddy has always made me feel. I still feel his love across the miles when we speak on the phone. At any given time when we’re together, I can still feel secure and safe in his arms as we embrace. His eyes still carry that familiar twinkle during his storytelling.

Before long, my hero and I are reminiscing, laughing, and enjoying the magical moment of father and daughter.

Note: My daddy will turn 83 years old this summer. He is still young at heart, full of lively, warm stories and jokes to share at a moment’s notice, and still very much a caring, loving, praying man. 

Te quiero mucho, Papi.

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