Tag Archives: heartbreak

May 27, 2023 · 3:00 PM

Celebrating Mama’s Life. . .

^{Creative Director – Charlie Duggar}
^{featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright”
Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare”
Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama”
Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord”
Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”}

I had to say goodbye to Mama.
On Mother’s Day.
The Lord called her home at 3 pm.

In my heart of hearts, I believe Mama received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. No more pain, no more suffering. She now rejoices with her Saviour and with all the loved ones who have gone on before her. As Christians, this is our Blessed Hope! And I will see her again.

It’s true: “We cannot think our way out of grief. We must feel our way out of grief.”

So when I said goodbye to Mama, the sadness of losing her hit me deeply. It snatched my breath away. I felt a pain rip through my chest. This grief is heavy and if it didn’t come in waves, I’d be consumed. A mother and daughter’s relationship is complex, and lines of communication can be difficult. We worked on doing better as time went by. And in the end, when she couldn’t speak, she’d gaze upon me, and her loving eyes spoke volumes. She fought the good fight! Her last breath on earth became her first breath in heaven.

So Mama, I want to express again: Thank you for praying for me when words escaped you.

Because of you, I found the strength I never knew I had; I learn to be resilient.

Because of you, I have found that when I can’t, God can! And He has. And He continues to do.

I want to thank you for giving me life, although the journey was anything but easy.

I’m grateful that because of you, this caterpillar turned into a butterfly, and in the strength of the Lord I learned to spread my wings over circumstances, over difficulties, and over the struggles of life.

One thing I know – and have always known – you loved me and I loved you
Just the way you described me, Mama, I will always be your little girl.

Farewell for now.
Your heart still beats. It beats within me.
Love won.
And. You. Were. Loved

Click here >>> On Borrowed Time <<< Click here
My blog on 10/2022

John 14:1-4 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. ²In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you. ³And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again and will take you to Myself, so that where I am, there you also will be. ⁴And you know the way where I am going.”

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Filed under Mama's Celebration of Life, Mother's Day

Tagged as Blessed Hope, death, emotions, grieving, heartbreak, heaven, John 14:1-4, Latina, Mama, mourning, personal, sorrow

November 6, 2019 · 6:13 AM

A Tale of Three Mothers

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”

As I contemplated writing this piece, I was reminded of the famous opening line in the classic novel, A Tale of Two Cities.

Please bear with me as I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and attempt to express the stirrings of my heart. While difficult to write, write I must!

In my last post, I wrote about me and my husband’s recent return from a wonderful, much-needed vacation on a cruise with a couple of friends. Because neither one of us cared about adding the extra fee for internet usage, we opted out and enjoyed our getaway. As we neared the Port of Galveston upon our return, we were inundated with unexpected text messages and several missed calls.

Shockingly, I learned that my 79-year-old stepmother–who had always been like a mother to me–was hospitalized and in ICU. My sister stayed with her rarely leaving her side, her “labor of love,” as she so well put it. After suffering from a bout of excruciating pain, my stepmother had to have emergency surgery due to a small bowel obstruction.

A series of complications and alarming close calls left my family in panic, bombarding Heaven with their prayers. Three weeks later, thankfully, my stepmother was released from the hospital. She continues recuperating at home, working on gaining her strength and some weight back.

My sister continues to care for her and our dad in Florida, and she is doing an extraordinary job, indeed a labor of love!

Ironically enough, while we were on our cruise, our friend’s own dear 90-year-old mother was admitted into hospice. She had suffered a stroke, which soon led to another. The day we returned, our friend flew back to her hometown in Kentucky to be near her mother’s bedside. Needless to say, our hearts were heavy.

With permission, I share the words written by my friend’s sister, regarding their mother:

Mom isn’t doing too good she has had another stroke.
Hospice said it could be anytime she would be joining Dad.
She can’t talk, eat, drink, or move.
She is trapped in that old broken down body which seems such a horrible place to be!
I still love her so much.
I can’t stand to see her in such a way.
Part of me wants her to pass so she can escape that horrible prison;
But to escape she has to leave me physically.
Mom has been gone for over 2 yrs mentally,
But her body has remained.
But when I think of her passing …
I shudder to think about me!
So many mixed emotions are going through me at this time:
I feel guilty for wanting her to go, But selfish for wanting her to stay.
I know it is in Lord’s hands. I do not make that decision; the Lord will make it.
I imagine my Dad has been begging and pleading with the Lord since he got into heaven to bring her home!
I know Dad is getting everything ready for her arrival …
Our family can use some prayers!

Less than a week later, their precious mother passed away …

Many times, situations seem so out of control, and we are left feeling helpless. Even if one clings to their faith in God, and tries to prepare for the inevitable regarding elderly parents, the heartache and sadness of that lost loved one still crushes you and leaves a hole in your heart. But don’t despair! We are reminded in Psalms 34:18: “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.”

And wouldn’t you know the very day our friend’s mother passed, we celebrated my own mama’s 85th birthday!

The pendulum swings in the momentum of life.

Although Mama is not in the best of health, I am grateful to God that we are able to celebrate her life and bring her joy.

She’s had a hard life, which I shared in my memoir. We both have. But God has turned our mess into a message.

I feel blessed knowing that I can bring Mama some joy surrounded by family.

My husband, children, and their spouses helped to make her day special, as we showered her with gifts at one of her favorite restaurants.

While I have made no bones about our complicated mother-daughter relationship, those obstacles have never diminished my love for her.

The bottom line is We. Love. Our. Mothers. And we desire to honor them.

I pray the Lord to grant us the strength to relinquish them into His hands when that time comes for us all. May this blog post bring perfect peace and be a tribute to all our mothers.

We love you, Gloria Esther Perez.

We love you, Edna Tinsley Canter.

We love you, Ruth Ann Mendez.

Mother’s love is something that no one can explain, it is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain, it is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may. For nothing can destroy it or take that love away.”
~ Hellen Steiner Rice

“It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

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Filed under Tribute to Mothers

Tagged as Charles Dickens, elderly, Faith, Family, heartbreak, Hellen Steiner Rice, inspiration, life, mothers, personal, reflections, Relationships, Tribute to Mothers

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Ode to a Mother’s Heart – Part II

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Last month, I attended the funeral of a co-worker’s daughter. She was only twenty-seven years old. A beautiful soul, inside and out. She and her mother were connected by the hip. As a mother myself, I could only imagine the thoughts rolling around in this mother’s head, the depth of the pain in her heart, the weight of the burden upon her shoulders, and the hundreds of unanswered questions that most likely wanted to consume her.

This week, I attended yet another funeral for the untimely death of a mother’s child. This son was just twenty-two years old and had even served in the military. He was his mother’s pride and joy: strong, handsome, charming; his whole life ahead of him. To witness the pain in this mother’s eyes, touched me with every fiber of my being.

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For these families, I imagine there will be many tomorrows before the pain eases.

I don’t care how tough you think you are, a parent having to bury their child will bring anyone to their knees! For a parent to have to bury a child, is a bitter pill to swallow. A myriad of emotions run rampant. The mind replays a flood of memories. The inner voices and screams cry out in despair and in utter darkness in mid-day!

For this tragedy to have happened to these families – any family – my heart grieves for them. But especially for the mother. I can only fathom the sheer loneliness of a mother’s heartbeat for the loss of her child, no matter what age. Surely, every tear that escape serves as an expression of a genuine love embedded in a mother’s heart for a lifetime, more so than the nine months she carried that child in her womb.

I’ve asked myself why many times. But I think I know the reason why I tend to weep upon hearing the first sound of a newborn’s cry. I am reminded that a little miracle came out of me! A fresh start. New beginnings. Those cries remind me of that special moment in time when I first felt pure joy, hope, and thanksgiving. I am awakened to a sea of memories of the dreams and plans for this gift of a new life after giving birth. As fate would have it, not every dream comes to fruition, and not every wish becomes a reality. There are many joys and sorrows in caring for children. But I imagine no sorrow can compare to having to say goodbye to your little one (young or old), knowing that it should have been the other way around.

I hurt for these mothers. Although they may never get over the loss of their child, I pray in time, they will get through it.

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