I consider myself a tough cookie. After all, aren’t I a survivor? I’ve survived some hard times: A broken home by age three, followed by poverty, hunger, homelessness, alcoholism, neglect, loss of a sibling at age nine, two near-drowning incidents, a car wreck, juvenile detention home, taunting, brawls, racism, alternative schooling, marriage to a ruthless man twice my age, bearing four children by the time I was twenty-two—three by cesarean—physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, betrayal, hopelessness, despair, rejection, abandonment, being shot at (he missed), divorce, single-parenting …
BUT God!
Howbeit, there is a softer side to me as well. This thing called tears. Yes, a family member has even called me sentimental. I have been known to cry after losing a pet, even an insect. I cried when I shot my first deer. I may cry when reading a book, in a dance, a song, during weddings, or when watching a movie. I especially cry when I hear a newborn’s first cry, whether in real life or on TV, I can’t help it, the tears flow. I sometimes cry when opening presents, saying goodbye, at being pleasantly surprised, while laughing, praying, or worshipping in church. Seeing mountains, rainbows, the ocean, a kitten, or a hummingbird can make me cry. I cried when I heard my grandchild call me “Mimi” for the first time. And at times, I cry when I’m hurt, scared, tired, or angry.
But I don’t want you to know that. I am tough. Not weak. Remember?
Now I’m not much of a horse person, but I know enough to know that a horse is full of grace and strength with every muscle, tendon, and ligament working in unison to support a rider at galloping speed. Yet, that same powerful, majestic horse is controlled by a bit in its mouth and will move in the direction the rider wants to go.
When I read about Moses, he was the meekest man who walked the earth. When I read about Jesus, He was all-powerful, yet kept that power in check. His meekness was not a weakness.
So, I say: It’s okay to let our guard down at times and reveal our softer, sensitive selves. It doesn’t mean we’re a softy, a weakling, or a pushover. Power under control means self-control, and that is a virtue. After all, we are human with God-given emotions. Besides, God bottles our tears.
And because God loves us so much, I would venture to say: Sometimes God cries.
© M.A. Perez 2013, All Rights Reserved
Reflections From the Heart 
This is such a wonderful post on a subject i have been thinking about a lot this week. It is a lovely thought that God cares about every one of our sorrows. Thank you and God bless 🙂
Despite all you’ve overcome Mary, you are blessed, Your heart hasn’t hardened with all your adversity. 🙂
Awwww thanks Debby! God brought me out to bring me in! Walking in His grace 🙂
Mary you had to be tough, all those things happening to the one person is terrible. I am glad you can still see the beauty in life and appreciate a new born babe blessings to you and thanks for stopping by my space and leaving a comment I appreciate it. You are amazing.
Thank you Kath!
So beautifully written. Yes you are tough. Anyone who has been thru all you have experienced could have chosen such a different path. No doubt the enemy of your soul tried his best to take you out BUT GOD!
Blessings
Wow… I can relate to so much that you are saying. I know that I have cried a million tears but God has collected all of them and knows all of my pain. Blessings to you!!
Hugs!!!
Blessings to you my friend!!!
To you as well 🙂
Powerful very powerful! Thank you for sharing this much needed word for me today. May God continue to bless you. I look forward to reading more.
Hey, thanks for visiting and becoming one of my followers! I enjoyed your blog as well. Blessings! 🙂
Beautiful! I’m not sure how to allow that softer side to show—I fear that if I let myself cry, I’ll never stop. Or blow snot all over someone. Or just freak people out. 🙂 I have always envied my more tender friends. Your ability to express your emotions is a lovely gift–it often accompanies a heart capable of great compassion. Wonderful post.
Wow! Never thought about that aspect … to blow snot all over someone … can’t be too bad. But I do know what it is to cry, thinking I’ll never stop; sobbing until I can’t breathe and no more tears are left. I just may not always cry in front of anyone 😉 Thanks, Rebeca.
To have a heart is to hurt… The fact that through such hardship that many of us have faced, there is something to be said about the fact that we have maintained a capacity to love, to laugh and yes, to cry… Loved this!
So true, Tina. To have a heart is to feel as well. Not too sure if I always release those emotions in a healthy way LOL
Beautiful and heart wrenching. I can relate to much of this. Keep pressing in dear friend; you definitely have a God given gift that will bless many. Date: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 11:35:01 +0000 To: jurbano45@hotmail.com
Thank you, my friend 🙂
Beautiful, Mary Ann … Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse
My pleasure 🙂
Absolutely beautiful !!! Thank you and I hope you don’t mind if I share the picture and verse …
Sent from my iPhone
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Knowing that God collects my tears brings me such comfort. All the tears that you have cried have not been in vain, Mary Ann.
Indeed \o/ \o/ \o/