Moses | Reflections From the Heart

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July 12, 2017 · 9:41 PM

Pathway to Tears

I consider myself a tough cookie. After all, aren’t I a survivor? I’ve survived a few hard knocks along life’s path: A broken home by age three, followed by poverty, hunger, homelessness, alcoholism, neglect, loss of a sibling at age nine, two near-drowning incidents, in a car wreck, juvenile detention home, taunting, brawls, racism, alternative schooling, marriage to a ruthless man twice my age, bearing four children by the time I was twenty-two—three by cesarean—physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, betrayal, hopelessness, despair, rejection, abandonment, being shot at (he missed), divorce, single-parenting …

BUT God!

Howbeit, there is a softer side to me as well. This thing called “tears”. A family member has even called me sentimental. I have been known to cry after losing a beloved pet, even an insect (hey, they make pets too, at least they did for me when I was a child). I recently cried when my husband surprised me with flowers after having a taxing day. I cried – or blubbered rather – after shooting my first deer. I may cry during weddings, engrossed in a book, listen to a song, or when watching a movie. I especially cry when I hear a newborn’s first cry, whether in real life or on TV, I can’t help it, the tears flow. I sometimes cry while laughing at something funny, opening up presents, when saying goodbye, praying, or worshiping and singing in church. Seeing majestic mountains, colorful rainbows, the stillness of the ocean, a fluffy kitten, or a hummingbird nestling nearby can make me cry. I even cried when I heard my grandchild call me “Mimi” for the first time. And yes, at times I cry when I’m hurt, scared, tired, or angry.

But I don’t want you to know that. Because I am tough. Not weak. Remember?

Now I’m not much of a horse person, but I know enough to know that a horse is full of grace and strength with every muscle, tendon, and ligament working in unison to support a rider at galloping speed. Yet, that same powerful, majestic horse is controlled by a bit in its mouth and will move in the direction the rider wants to go.

When I read about Moses, he was the meekest man who walked the earth. When I read about Jesus, He was all-powerful, yet kept that power in check. His meekness was not a weakness.

So, I say: It’s okay. It’s okay to let your guard down at times and reveal your softer, sensitive self. It doesn’t mean you’re a softy, a weakling, or a pushover. Power under control means self-control, and that is a virtue. After all, we are human with God-given emotions. Besides, God. Bottles. Our. Tears.

And because God loves us so much, I would venture to say:

Sometimes God cries.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me for me.

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Filed under emotions

Tagged as horses, Jesus, life, Moses, Musing, personal, social, tears, virtue

October 17, 2013 · 6:34 AM

This Thing Called Tears

I consider myself a tough cookie. After all, aren’t I a survivor? I’ve lived through more than my share—broken home by age three, poverty, hunger, homelessness, neglect, loss of a sibling at nine, violence, abuse in its many forms, and more than a few close calls with death.

BUT God!

However, there is a softer side to me as well. This thing called tears. Yes, a family member has even called me sentimental.

I cry over a lot of things. Losing a pet, or even an insect. A newborn’s first cry. A book, a song, a dance, a wedding, a movie. Sometimes even opening a gift or saying goodbye catches me off guard.
Mountains, rainbows, oceans, hummingbirds… they move me more than I care to admit. And when my grandchild called me “Mimi” for the first time, I completely lost it.

And yes, sometimes I cry when I’m hurt, scared, tired, or angry.

I don’t always want people to see that side of me. I’m supposed to be tough. Not weak. Remember?

Now I’m not much of a horse person, but I know enough to know that a horse is all grace and strength—every muscle, tendon, and ligament working together to carry a rider at full speed. Yet even that kind of power is guided by a bit in its mouth, moving where it is led.

When I read about Moses, I’m struck that he was described as the meekest man on earth. And when I read about Jesus, I see power beyond measure, yet fully restrained. His meekness was never weakness.

So, I say: It’s okay to let our guard down at times and reveal our softer, sensitive selves. It doesn’t mean we’re a softy, a weakling, or a pushover. Power under control means self-control, and that is a virtue. After all, we are human with God-given emotions. Besides, God bottles our tears.

And because God loves us so much, sometimes I wonder if God cries too.