September 23, 1968: It is a day of celebration. We are with our beloved grandma. The little girl (me) happily stands near her beautiful baby sister, who carries an infectious smile. We are celebrating my sister’s second birthday.
October 22, 1968: One month later, it is a day of mourning. We are devastated and heartbroken over the precious life taken much too soon by a hit-and-run driver. With her sister gone, the little girl feels lonelier than ever. Mama felt lost and was never the same.
2023: Mama changed addresses this past Mother’s Day at 3 p.m. In August, we took some of Mama’s remains and placed them near her daughter, my baby sister. Both are with their Savior now, no longer suffering. We shall see our loved ones again one day.
For now, we are left with their memories and all the should-haves, could-haves, and would-haves.
Ecclesiastes 12:7
“Then the dust will return to the earth as it was, And the spirit will return to God who gave it.”
Some of you know we had to say goodbye to my 88-year-old Mama, a little over three months ago. Her memory continues to linger. She was loved beyond words. Missed beyond measure. At times, whenever I enter her room, sadness still floods my soul. I’ve given my grief over to the Lord time and time again, and every day I am strengthened. We did our best to care for Mama during the few years she lived with us. When she went through major surgery, we sought outside professional help.
If you have read my memoir, you know my parents divorced when I was very young. Daddy still lives in Florida with my stepmother. Since their marriage, my dear sister has taken excellent care of them both. I was anxious about visiting Daddy this year for his 90th birthday. Needless to say, it was important to me that I be there.
The day finally arrived when we flew to Orlando for Daddy’s milestone birthday party. However, due to illnesses and a few close calls, this big event almost didn’t happen. I am so thankful the special day came to fruition. We were there to help celebrate this grand occasion.
We enjoyed spending precious time with Daddy, my step-mother, Mama Gloria, siblings, aunts, uncles, and several cousins. Fourteen of us stayed overnight at a lovely 2-story Airbnb. My sister had reserved it, providing more than ample room with a swimming pool. More family members arrived the next day to celebrate Daddy’s birthday bash. We gathered around and ate to our heart’s content. The catered meal included Puerto Rican and Cuban dishes. The dishes were pernil (roast pork) and arroz con gandules (yellow rice and pigeon peas). They also included Congri (Cuban rice mixed with black beans). We had maduros (sweet plantains) and Cuban-style yuca with garlic mojo. We took photos of the birthday boy, with cake and balloons.
Mornings consisted of indulging in delicious home-cooked breakfasts with café con leche. We exchanged stories, laughter, great conversations, singing, and prayers. Wonderful memories were made to last a lifetime. Daddy’s party was a wonderful event.
After our stay in the Airbnb, we continued with our vacation plans. We attended a dinner and tournament show at the Medieval Times Dinner Theater in Orlando. The entertainment was fantastic with beautiful horses, jousting, and cool sword fighting. During the performance, a tasty four-course meal was served. You had to eat with your hands, just like in medieval times. Other outings that week included a one-hour ride at Wild Willy’s Airboat Tour through Florida’s Everglades. We experienced some of Florida’s wildlife. We saw blue herons. There were also gators and their nests. We spotted small, beautiful, orange-looking birds. We even saw a bald eagle! One evening, we visited Old Town in Kissimmee with our cousins. We enjoyed a 30-year tradition of classic hot rods and muscle cars in a parade. On another day, the chances of rain did not stop us. We headed towards the lovely Anna Maria Beach. It has warm, clear turquoise water and white sand. The scenery did not disappoint. This was a little bit of heaven for me. It was hard to leave! Finally, we stopped and visited my stepson in Tampa. Surprisingly, he treated us to his mouth-watering specialty: reverse-seared ribeyes, and tomahawk steaks!
Looking back now, I am thankful for all that transpired during our week in Florida. My main takeaway: Daddy remembered me. He remembered all of us. He was present, engaging, and loving. He even said a prayer over us. It felt good to feel his love while hugging him tightly. It was special to see my nieces and nephew and see how they have grown. I reconnected with some cousins whom I hadn’t seen in a minute. It was nice to get to know them.
Remember: family time is essential. Embrace all that God has blessed you with; weed out the pettiness and all that is cumbersome. Life is short and fleeting. You blink and you miss a moment. Count your blessings and focus on the bigger picture on this side of heaven called life’s journeys. It is a gift.
(I especially want to thank Titi Sonia and Tio Manny for graciously putting us up in their lovely home.)
Please enjoy some photos taken of our vacation week.
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison
She was weak, frail, with no appetite. I prayed that Mama would make it to Mother’s Day. She did and left us at 3 pm on that very day! I believe she truly received the best gift possible. She no longer has any pain or discomfort. She doesn’t have to worry about anything or anyone else.
I had told her that I would, and I did. Three months had passed. With my immediate family, I took some of Mama’s remains to bury. We placed them alongside her parents, my grandparents. We also buried her next to my baby sister. She was tragically struck down by a hit-and-run driver at the tender age of two, some 55 years ago.
Everyone expresses life and death differently. What we did was another way to honor Mama and her memory. I know that Mama is in heaven, and not in a shallow grave. You see, doing this was more about healing for us. We are at peace knowing we did something to honor her life. Through it all—and there were many bumps in the road—Mama was loved, and she is now with her Savior. In the end: Love. Won!
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
John 14:1-4
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Jaime Anderson
The fathers in my family are affectionately referred to as Dad, Daddy, and Papi. Newsflash: None are perfect! But each one signifies love, courage, provision, and strength. Their eyes glow with purpose. Their smiles melt hearts. Their chest swells with pride. Their callous hands protect. They stand tall with dignity. And their embraces offer comfort and assurance. Yes, they are the pillars of our households.
It’s said that every man is trying to live up to his father’s expectations. Alternatively, they strive to make up for their father’s mistakes. I’m not sure if that’s true. I only know that each man represented in my family strives to be the very best possible. Each holds a mantle and carries a torch for the next generation. Each dad represented in my family lays a solid foundation, even those who have crossed over to the other side. I can’t help but think about my own grandfathers. They were strong, respected, dedicated men with a constant presence. They left behind a legacy. When the tough got going, they didn’t cave under pressure. They persevere with Puerto Rican pride in every fiber of their being.
To the men in my family who are dads (and have yet to be): I love you all. I admire each and every one of you. And to my dear husband, you married me with four children. I share this quote: “It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.” I salute you.
I salute you all. Remember: Any man can be a father. But it takes a special person to be a dad.
And to the newest addition to our family, my grandson’s precious little girl, who has made me a proud great-grandma!
Creative Director – Charlie Duggar featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright” Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare” Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama” Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up” Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”
I had to say goodbye to Mama. On Mother’s Day. The Lord called her home at 3 pm.
In my heart of hearts, I believe she received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. There is no more pain and no more suffering. Now she rejoices with her Savior. She joins all the loved ones who have gone on before her. As Christians, that’s our Blessed Hope! And I will see her again.
It’s true: “We cannot think our way out of grief. We must feel our way out of grief.”
So when I said goodbye to Mama, the sadness of losing her hit me deeply. It snatched my breath away. I felt a pain rip through my chest. This grief is heavy, and if it didn’t come in waves, I’d be consumed. A mother-daughter relationship is complex, and lines of communication can be challenging. We worked on doing better as time went by. And in the end, when she couldn’t speak, she’d gaze upon me, and her loving eyes spoke volumes. She fought the good fight! Her last breath on earth became her first breath in heaven.
So Mama, I want to express again: Thank you for praying for me when words escaped you.
Because of you, I found the strength I never knew I had; I learned to be resilient.
Because of you, I have found that when I can’t, God can! And He has. And He continues to do so.
I want to thank you for giving me life, although the journey was anything but easy.
I’m grateful that because of you, this caterpillar turned into a butterfly. In the strength of the Lord, I learned to spread my wings over circumstances. I spread my wings over difficulties and over the struggles of life.
One thing I know—and have always known—is that you loved me, and I loved you. Just the way you described me, Mama, I will always be your little girl.
Daddy, I cried because you were alert and present; you recognized me! Thank God that you did! I cried as I studied your charming face, watching the familiar spark dancing in your eyes. I cried in hearing the mirth in your voice close to my ears again. I cried as you embraced me in your arms, lovingly and tightly, just like when I was a little girl.
As I gaze upon you, I notice the years travel like a roadmap across your sweet face. I observe the twinkle in your eyes growing dim. Discomfort and pain take over. Your voice of mirth soon sounded a bit weaker. I feel your grip growing feeble. I noticed your hands are soft, no longer solid and callous from work. Sadness pierces my heart. Yet, time stood still. I am blessed, just by being in your arms again.
Daddy, I love you. So many years have passed. Oh, how I have missed you! I shall hold onto the memories and bring them back home with me, and shall cherish them forever!
So I made this Valentine charcuterie board just for Mama.
A cute basket was made by her great-granddaughter! Bless to still have Mama in our lives!
Happy Valentines y’all!
Side Note: No, Mama did not eat all of these sugary sweets; the majority given away. It was a colorful and sweet gesture that she enjoyed looking over – and pink is her favorite color. LOL
The Spanish translation of Running in Heels is complete—but the journey isn’t over. This memoir of grit and grace is being prepared for publication in Spanish, to reach hearts across cultures and generations. From family setbacks to divine provision, every step has been a testimony.
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From Heart to Heritage
