Creative Director – Charlie Duggar
featuring artists: Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – “Be Alright”
Tercer Cielo – “Yo Te Extrañare”
Boyz II Men – “A Song for Mama”
Elvis Presley – “Take My Hand, Precious Lord”
Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
Mercy Me – “I Can Only Imagine”
Filed under Mama, Mother's Day
In my heart of hearts, I believe she received the best Mother’s Day gift ever. There is no more pain and no more suffering. Now she rejoices with her Savior. She joins all the loved ones who have gone on before her. As Christians, that’s our Blessed Hope! And I will see her again.
It’s true: “We cannot think our way out of grief. We must feel our way out of grief.”
So when I said goodbye to Mama, the sadness of losing her hit me deeply. It snatched my breath away. I felt a pain rip through my chest. This grief is heavy, and if it didn’t come in waves, I’d be consumed. A mother-daughter relationship is complex, and lines of communication can be challenging. We worked on doing better as time went by. And in the end, when she couldn’t speak, she’d gaze upon me, and her loving eyes spoke volumes. She fought the good fight! Her last breath on earth became her first breath in heaven.
So Mama, I want to express again: Thank you for praying for me when words escaped you.
Because of you, I found the strength I never knew I had; I learned to be resilient.
Because of you, I have found that when I can’t, God can! And He has. And He continues to do so.
I want to thank you for giving me life, although the journey was anything but easy.
I’m grateful that because of you, this caterpillar turned into a butterfly. In the strength of the Lord, I learned to spread my wings over circumstances. I spread my wings over difficulties and over the struggles of life.
One thing I know—and have always known—is that you loved me, and I loved you. Just the way you described me, Mama, I will always be your little girl.
Farewell for now.
Your heart still beats. It beats within me.
Love won.
And. You. Were. Loved.
Click here >>> On Borrowed Time <<< Click here
~ My blog on 10/2022 ~
Filed under Mama's Celebration of Life, Mother's Day
Author: Unknown
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed that there was a God to talk to.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it’s alright to cry.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I looked…
and I wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.
Becoming a Mom is watching your heart walk outside your body.
To all the Mommys out there. Your little ones are watching …
always remember your job is important and will make a great
impact for all eternity.
Filed under Mother's Day
Last year, my oldest daughter and I were asked to be a part of a workshop at our church, speaking about adult daughters and their mother’s relationships. We made a list and examined our strengths as well as our, ahem, weaknesses. I knew from experience that mother-daughter relationships can be both complex and diverse.
There are many ups and downs, no matter how positive or complicated, in testing relationships. Psychologists say that daughters’ primary complaints are with mothers trying to baby them and being overly critical and demanding. From the mom’s perspective, daughters don’t listen to them, make poor choices, and have zero time for them.
I did not find this teaching comfortable or an easy topic. Parenting has many challenges, and this thing called “motherhood” hit me between the eyes at an early age. My mom raised me pretty much as a single mom, as she never married after she and my dad split. She had common law relationships–I can think of three–and I was pretty much left alone. So yeah, I was neglected and raised myself. As a matter of fact, our roles were reversed, and so, I’ve always felt that my childhood was taken from me!
I left home early and married very young. I had my first child at 17, and by the time I was 22, I had my 4th. Ironically enough, I made many of the same parenting mistakes as my own mother. I wrote about my journey as a daughter, wife, and mother. You can say I was a real hot mess back then. In retrospect, I thank God that He rescued me from myself! Now that my children are adults, I can think of many things I did wrong and regret in my role. But nothing worthwhile comes easy; at least it never did for me!
There are defeats and triumphs in every challenge, and we all have some scars along the way.
Lamentations 3:22-23: “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”
I am familiar with the power struggles, the pet peeves, and the miscommunications.
What I see in my daughter(s), the good, the bad, and the ugly – I sometimes see a reflection of myself. Oh! Those flaws! Clearly, I may not always like what I see … or hear. But you know what? We’re on the same team – we love each other and are there for one another.
Jer 31:16: Thus says the LORD, “Restrain your voice from weeping And your eyes from tears; For your work will be rewarded,” declares the LORD, “And they will return from the land of the enemy.”
I can’t stress how I prayed, interceded, and wept for my wayward child (children). But as mothers, that’s what we do! We don’t give up, and we don’t let up until we have God’s peace. Know that it’ll be in His time frame, not necessarily in ours. And when God does it, it’ll surely work. He’ll leave nothing undone.
HOW CAN WE BE STRONGER TOGETHER?
Here are a few golden nuggets from my own firstborn’s perspective:
Everybody knows that TWO heads are better than ONE. In Girl Scouts and the 4H Club, you learn that three strands of string make a strong rope. To play harmony on a piano, you play with two or more notes. And as you know, you won’t find a giant redwood tree standing alone!
Most importantly, we become stronger when we learn to forgive each other, be open and honest, and be KIND. Remember: attack the problem, not each other.
We encourage each other, consult with each other, spend time together, and learn and grow from each other. No matter the circumstances, despite feelings, perspectives, weaknesses, and “bumps” along the way, when we face life together, find God together, and pray together—all of these acts and then some—we can get through it and be stronger together!
My daughter(s) and I have come a long way.
Ps 90:12 “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.
Here are my own acronyms for MOTHER & DAUGHTER:
M ake the first move
O mit malice
T hink before responding
H ave realistic expectations
E xtend grace
R epair damage quickly
D is to forgive offenses
A gree to disagree
U nity is better than division
G ather your words with prayer
H old unto hope
T alk about ways to communicate
E mbrace change for the better
R espect each other
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
And by the way, I also have an adorable son close to my hip! God is good!
Filed under Mother's Day, Relationships
Becoming a Mom is watching your heart walk outside your body.
As I reflect on Mother’s Day, I am thinking about the mothers in my own family. Some of us had nurturing in our DNA; some of us never got the memo. Some of us got it down pat; some of us continue to learn by trial and error. None of us are perfect or have it all together. But no matter what, our bloodline flows strong, and our hearts beat true. Children are a blessing. I believe as we look upon our children, young and old, the beating of our hearts never ceases to flutter. Some of us ease into our roles, and some of us, not so much. No one ever gave me a manual on Motherhood, and even if they did, the writer most likely didn’t have children of their own. Why? Because we learn by experience, and we learn by trial and error.
As I gaze upon the eyes of each Mother represented here, I see the sadness of some unanswered prayers, worries about tomorrow, regrets of yesteryear, and the fear of failure. But I also see love, joy, perseverance, tenderness, belonging, pride, and hope for the future — a better tomorrow.
One thing my mother always said and it is worth repeating: You can have ten fathers but only one mother.
Mothers, stand in the gap for your children. No matter what, never give up on them. And in our twilight years, may our children never give up on us.
© M.A. Pérez 2018, All Rights Reserved
Filed under Mother's Day, Tribute to Mothers
I still get jealous.
I confess.
After all this time, it pains me to admit this, but it’s true. Whenever I hear others express the close bond that they have with their mothers, I marvel at how grand that must be!
And it stings.
Mama used to say: “You can have ten fathers but only one mother.”
I heard that line growing up and believed it. After my parents divorced, I had three different step-dads. In my young state of mind, I didn’t want to share my mama — she wasn’t married to any of them. I wanted us to be by ourselves. But Mama was too busy for me. I’m sure she did the best she could, but nurturing wasn’t in her DNA. Left on my own a great deal, I was a neglected child.
Loneliness was my middle name.
At age nine, once we moved to Florida, my grandma was more like a mother to me. I knew then what a mother’s love felt like and it just wasn’t the same as Mama’s. Not long after my daddy remarried, during visitations, my stepmother loved and welcomed me with open arms. I felt special in her eyes. With Mama, sometimes I felt she didn’t even see me because she was so preoccupied. As I became older, bitterness festered and I wasn’t necessarily a role model teenager either. I just couldn’t wait to leave home and do better than Mama, in search of love. I fell flat on my face. But I learned some things.
I learned Mama was a prisoner in her own mind, but she did the best she knew to do. She felt I was always mature for my age, never realizing how much I needed her. I haven’t stopped loving Mama. I loved her then and I certainly love her now. But because I had no choice but to grow up too fast, our roles have always felt reversed. Most of the time, I felt like I was the mother.
The miles separate, the years have passed, and Mama and I both have since aged. I can look back and forgive my past; it has made me who I am today. I’ve had to learn to forgive Mama a hundred times over, whose harshness and demeanor become more passive and feeble with time. I must show her kindness and love. No, she’s not perfect, but neither am I.
Today, I am someone’s mother and grandmother, a.k.a. Mimi. I pray that my own loved ones will always feel my love, even when we don’t agree.
No matter what.
It takes work. Patience. Prayer.
And much forgiveness.
As for Mama and I: Our communication skills remain much to be desired. I’ll keep working on it.
Mother’s Day is around the corner. It has always been so complicated for me in choosing the right Mother’s Day card. Once again, I find myself putting the cards back on the shelf in search of the one that describes Mama perfectly.
I think I’ll continue to write one for her myself:
To my one and only Mama.
I loved you then.
I love you now.
No matter what.
Love always, still your little girl.
© M.A. Perez 2017, All Rights Reserved
Filed under Mother's Day, Mother/Daughter
If I had known then what I know now,
I would have stopped the clock and savored every precious moment.
Instead, I was encumbered with the daily task of trying to stay afloat as a mother.
If I had known then what I know now,
I would have frozen time just to gaze upon your little chest, rising and falling with every heartbeat while you slept peacefully in your crib.
If I had known then what I know now,
I would have sung more lullabies while rocking you on my lap, nestled in my arms, given you more kisses, and chased away all nightmares.
I’d have tickled you harder, squeezed you tighter, laughed with you louder, and played silly games with you longer.
I would have taken more walks in the park, built many sand castles, eat more ice cream cones with sprinkles, dug for the best sea shells, rode on all the merry-go-rounds, climbed every rock, smelled every flower, played catch more, run through the rain puddles, taken more photos and captured every single moment with you!
I was needed when you were small; you relied upon me then. If only I could now, I would hold you closer still, wipe your every teardrop, chase your every fear, and never let you down.
But the tide has turned, and I can only watch from a distance. The sun has set and is hidden beyond the horizon. My silent tears serve as a constant reminder that times are fleeting, with every hour, every minute, and every second.
My heart swells with pride to see that you, my children, have blossomed and matured.
But if I had known then what I know now … I would have done things so differently. I would have hushed the madness with all the hustle and bustle sooner, cherished those magic moments when you were small, cradled you in my arms forever, and never let you go.
From Heart to Heritage
NEW! Book Club Edition
Reflexiones del Corazón
I just want to thank Mandy for making me a hero in her garden. I was deeply touch and wanted to share my appreciation by adding her link on my sidebar. Click the picture below to view her blog. . .
Reflections From the Heart 