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September 23, 2023 · 9:11 AM

On Bended Knees and Hearts

Sept 23, 1968: It is a day of celebration. We are with our beloved maternal grandma. The little girl (me) happily stands near her beautiful baby sister, who carries an infectious smile. We are celebrating my sister’s second birthday.

Oct. 22, 1968: One month later, it is a day of mourning. We are devastated and heartbroken about the precious life taken much too soon by a hit-and-run driver. With her sister gone, the little girl feels lonelier than ever before. Mama felt lost and never the same.

Current Year 2023: Mama changed addresses this past Mother’s Day at 3 p.m.. In August, we took some of Mama’s remains and placed them near her daughter, my baby sister. Both are with their Savior now and no longer are suffering. We shall see our loved ones again one day. For now, we are left with their memories and the ‘should-of, could-of, would-of.’

Ecclesiastes 12:7

“Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God who gave it.”

John 14:1-4

“Let not your heart be troubled;

you believe in God, believe also in Me.

In My Father’s house are many mansions;

if it were not so, I would have told you.

I go to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you,

I will come again and receive you to Myself;

that where I am, there you may be also.

And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace by Mary A. Pérez

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Tagged as baby sister, celebration, Ecclesiastes 12:7, grieving, heartfelt, heaven, John 14, Life & Death, Mama, Mother, mourning, personal

June 30, 2021 · 5:11 AM

My Heartbeat – Part I

This past Father’s Day week was filled with anticipation of renewal and adventure. With the ongoing planning came lots of prayers and nerves into the unknown.

Let me explain …

As more COVID mandates about wearing masks, social distancing, etc., were lifted, people began to venture out again and travel. It was decided that my husband and I would fly to Florida for a one-week vacation. Finally, I was going to be with my dad and celebrate Father’s Day with him. I connected with my sister, who made all the meeting arrangements.

They said Daddy was in the beginning stages of dementia. My concerns were many … the main one being: will Daddy remember me? Oh, how I prayed that he would!

In Kissimmee, we met at an outdoor market. When I walked up to Daddy, the familiar twinkle in his eyes met me. Those eyes still sparkled! We hugged and kissed. Yes, he remembered me! Later, when we embraced longer, I took his beautiful face all in, and my tears started falling. He hugged me, looked me in the eye, and asked, “Why are you crying?”

I cried because I love him. I cried because God is good and granted me another tender moment with my dad, forever imprinted in my heart. I cried because I missed my daddy. I cried because he is getting older and frail, and I didn’t ever want him to forget me. I cried because we live in another state and I couldn’t always be by his side. I cried because I was grateful. I got to know him after he and my mom separated when I was 3. They divorced by the time I was 6. I cried because I knew he wouldn’t always be around for us to visit. I cried because of the dreaded impending reality of a child one day having to say goodbye to their parent. Forever.