Category Archives: Inspiration

Texas or Bust

After our move from Denver to Miami, we settled into a duplex apartment. The small amount of money we had saved quickly dwindled. Donny couldn’t find steady work, and my waitressing tips barely kept us afloat.

Six months later:

“Pack your bags; we’re moving,” Donny announced out of the blue.

“What? Another move? Where to now?” I wailed and braced for the answer.

“The Lone Star State, he shrugged. “Jobs are booming in Houston.” He left to tie up loose ends for our big move.

I put Anna Marie down for a nap. I plopped on the floor surrounded by boxes Donny had gathered, waiting to fill. I wept instead of packing, wanting to pull my hair out in frustration.

What are we going to do in Texas? Live out on the prairie? Herd a bunch of cattle? Ride horses? Donny might think himself a cowboy, but I ain’t no cowgirl.

I found myself talking to God. I pleaded with Him to change the circumstances. I wanted help to survive one more day, another move—to Timbuktu for all I knew. Was it selfish for me to want my little girl to know the love of her great-grandparents? Was it wrong for me to want her to know her humorous grandpa and enjoy Gloria’s pampering?

Angry. I threw things into suitcases and boxes. Pointless. Coming and going. Didn’t I moved enough times as a kid? As I fumed and tossed stuff around, an envelope fell out of my dusty Bible and dropped onto my lap. A letter! From Aunt Irma; written after I’d returned from New York, after my “great escape” from Donny. I sat crossed-legged on the floor and re-read her letter, allowing her words to digest:

I pray that Donny’s heart will soften, so that he learns that our being imperfect beings that we are, we tend to make mistakes. Even with the best of intentions. May God put it in his heart these truths, so that he will be able to forget that you left him when you were hurt and so confused. And that the act no way lessened the love you have for him.

Mary Ann, may he ever remember that a woman is not to ever be mistreated by hitting, but to be held, respected, and loved as someone precious as a part of himself. As for you dear, please remember; no one wins in a fight. And having the last word in an argument is not important. We love you and miss you and Anna Marie.

God bless you, Aunt Irma and your uncle Jimmy.

I re-folded the page and tucked it away. With a fresh determination to put all self-pity aside, I went back to my packing.

The above is an excerpt of Chapter 22 “Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

That day (at 18-years of age) I learned something about how God works in the middle of our chaos. Sometimes the answer to our prayers doesn’t arrive as a miracle or a changed circumstance. Sometimes it slips quietly out of the pages of a dusty Bible. It may appear as a letter written by someone who loves us.

Looking back now, I realize that move to Texas wasn’t just another exhausting chapter in a string of moves. It was one more place where God was teaching me grit… and a little grace.

Life has a funny way of surprising us with reminders. This happens just when we think we can’t take one more step. For me, it was Aunt Irma’s words on a worn piece of paper.

Have you ever had a moment like that—when something small stopped you in your tracks and shifted your perspective?

I’d love to hear your stories. Sometimes the lessons that steady us the most are the ones we almost overlook

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Filed under Inspiration, Memoir, Personal Stories

In the Stillness …

How many times have you encountered a situation head-on, full force, and with vengeance? It either caught you by surprise or you anticipated and dreaded the inevitable. Either way, bound and determined, knowing you had no choice but to tackle that thing, you plodded through.

But then the busyness of life got in the way. You’re tired, wearied up to your eyeballs – just one more thing will send you over the top! Ever been there? Yeah, me too. More than I care to admit. What gets you to the next day? The next project? The next idea?

Is it gumption? Aspirations? A positive outlook? Prayer? Encouragement from friends and family?

And have you ever felt like you have nothing left to give to anyone else, let alone tackle one more thing? It boils down to you running on empty. Do you need a refill, a power surge, fuel, or zing? When you’ve given yourself to others and you feel spent, it’s time to step back and be refreshed. Take a sabbatical.

There are times when I need time for myself. I may need to soak in a warm tub, get a Swedish massage, sit by the ocean, or relax in one of those infrared saunas. Yeah, buddy!

You know, as a Christian, being still and quiet before the Lord isn’t always easy for me. My thoughts run in circles with daily tasks that need to be done. But I find that when I go before Him and stay awhile, I come out feeling refreshed, refueled, and re-fired.

What are some of your ways to re-group and face another day or challenge?

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Filed under Inspiration, Personal, Resiliency

Me, qualified?

Image found originally on www.ShortSaleShift.com

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I am so glad that God doesn’t call the qualified, but He qualifies the called! I am one who may feel like puking my guts up before an event. But then once the execution is over, I may bawl like a baby! As much as I am thankful for the grit in me to undertake a task, I am much more grateful for the grace of God that carries me through a task. I don’t take this lightly.

Be yourself; nobody else is better qualified than you.

This weekend, I had a wonderful opportunity to share my heart at Howard Partridge’s Round Table. I was blessed, not only by the warm reception but especially by the men at the conference being so responsive. Many voiced to me how touched they were by my words, as they reflected on their own situations or someone dear to them.

Regardless of faith, status, education, or race, we’ve all felt discouraged, rejected, abandoned, or betrayed at one point or another. We’ve all had our dreams smashed, our dignity shot, our hearts torn, and our hope lost.

If my life of peril can become a life of promise, yours can too. I believe your yesterday does not have to define your today. Just remember: You may not be where you want to be today, but thank God you are not where you once were.

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Filed under Inspiration