Some moments in life stay with you. Not because someone intended to hurt you, but because of how they made you feel.
Years ago, I went in for a job interview. Before the interview even began, I noticed the person who would be interviewing me taking a hard look at my shoes. They weren’t expensive, but they were clean, and I had done my best to look presentable. Maybe I read too much into it. Maybe I didn’t. But in that moment, I suddenly felt like I didn’t measure up.
I eventually got the job, but that moment stayed with me.
Later, someone I worked with was talking about the great deal they had gotten on their sports car. They mentioned the amount of money they had saved and asked if I thought they’d done well. All I could think was, what do I know about sports cars? If I had that kind of money, I could pay my rent on time and have groceries!
Another time, a grandchild of someone who worked there asked me, “Have you ever been to Paris?”
When I answered, “No,” she looked at me in complete surprise and said, “You’ve NEVER been to Paris?”
Although it stung, I smiled and answered her. She was just a child. I’m sure she wasn’t being rude. She simply couldn’t imagine someone who had never traveled there.
Looking back, I don’t believe any of these people were trying to make me feel “less than.” They were a little insensitive, maybe, but mostly they were living the life they knew.
What struck me each time wasn’t unkindness. It was a kind of blindness, being so at home in their own life that they couldn’t imagine mine. And I’ve had to ask myself: how many times have I done the same thing to someone else, without ever realizing it?
Still, those moments taught me something I’ve never forgotten: we don’t always know what someone else is carrying.
The person standing beside us may be worried about paying rent, buying groceries, caring for a sick family member, or wondering how they’ll make it through another month. They may smile, show up for work every day, and never say a word about their struggles.
That’s why humility matters.
Humility isn’t only about how we see ourselves. It’s also about being aware of others. It’s remembering that our experiences aren’t everyone’s experiences. It’s speaking with kindness and recognizing that what feels ordinary to us may be something someone else has never had the chance to know.
Those memories have made me more careful over the years. I hope they’ve made me more compassionate, too. I know I may not always get it right, but they taught me to be more mindful of the burdens others may be carrying.
The Lord has a way of teaching us through the uncomfortable moments in our lives. Sometimes He uses them to soften our hearts instead of hardening them.
When I think back to those shoes, I don’t remember feeling angry. I remember feeling invisible. “Less than.”
I never want to make another person feel that way.
May we be people who notice others, who speak with humility, and who remember that every person we meet is fighting battles we may know nothing about.
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up.” — James 4:10
May we never be the reason someone feels “less than.” Instead, may we reflect Christ’s kindness by seeing people, valuing them, and treating them with humility.
From Heart to Heritage
You are so right, dear friend–we can’t know all that others are carrying. Humility is a gift we get to give to others to show them that we believe genuinely that they are more important than we are, the attitude Jesus had that Paul describes in Philippians 2. I can imagine how hurtful it was to hear words that made you feel less than. But having the courage to see that they weren’t doing it out of spite, but not knowing you or your situation, is huge. This is really good, Mar.
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Thank you, dear friend. I’m so thankful that our worth is ultimately measured by God, not by how others see us. Sometimes people simply can’t see what we carry or recognize the worth in front of them. And honestly, it did sting! 😂 It took me a little while to shake it off! But I’m learning that humility means remembering I don’t always know what someone else is carrying either. God has a way of using even those uncomfortable moments to teach us and remind us where our worth truly comes from. Thank you as always for your beautiful words and for seeing the heart behind my post.
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As you say, Mary, it is a kind of blindness — the kind this world nurtures. Our culture is materialistic at its core. We teach our children to look down on those who have less, rather than teaching them gratitude and generosity.
God, however, see the heart. ❤
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Thank you, Anna. That’s exactly it! We teach comparison before we teach compassion. I’m grateful for the reminder that God sees the heart, not the shoes, the car, or the passport stamps. Appreciate you taking the time to reflect on this with me.
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Great post, Mary. One of the things I appreciated about my school was that there were programs to supply families with a bag of food for the week (passed out anonymously each Friday) and other programs that helped with providing clothing and school supplies for needy children. It’s easy to take those kinds of things for granted until you’re just scraping by.
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Thank you, Pete. You’re so right. It’s easy to take things for granted until you’ve been on the other side of it. That’s really what stayed with me from those experiences: we never know what someone else may be carrying.
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This was such a good read! I am going to repost it. Thank you. I feel this way and my dad was the one who taught us humility. He came from humble beginnings.
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Hi Nikki! I appreciate you stopping by and for reposting! I’m glad my post resonated with you. It sounds like your dad gave you a beautiful gift by teaching you humility, especially coming from humble beginnings. Those are the lessons that stay with us, right? Hugs!
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Thank you, Mary. I believe that because of the trials in our youth, we have a capacity for compassion that some don’t understand. I am not an Oprah fan, but once, many years ago, there was a woman on the show who had escaped childhood abuse. The discussion turned to a promiscuous time in her life. Some in the audience said, “Didn’t you want to save yourself for marriage?”
Oprah replied, “You don’t understand; she had nothing left to save.”
It was then I realized some people don’t understand what they don’t understand.
When I pray for peace, understanding, compassion for others…change. I always ask: ”Lord, please let it begin with me.”
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Thank you, Emyloom. That really resonates with me. Sometimes the things we’ve been through give us a deeper understanding of the struggles others carry, even when those struggles aren’t visible. And I love your prayer: “Lord, please let it begin with me.” That is such a beautiful reminder that compassion, understanding, and change really do begin within us!
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