Tag Archives: Faith

September 27, 2014 · 1:56 PM

Not That Girl

She is not the girl who scratched and clawed her way to the top. She is the girl who learned how to float to prevent her from sinking when life tried to weigh her down. Who walked on pebbles and used them as her stepping stones to get to higher ground. Who learned that childlike faith in the God above would blossom into something much greater than herself. She may have had father figures who were missing in action, but she found comfort in a Heavenly Father who never left her side.

Once dejected and rejected, she is no longer the sad little girl she once was. Don’t feel sorry for her. Applaud her, because it was during the dry seasons that she discovered an oasis. Rejoice with her, because in the darkness, she found a beacon of light. Admire her for rising above her crisis despite her circumstances. She may have started out in the valley, pecking along like a chicken digging for worms. But then the Ancient of Days taught her to spread her wings like an eagle and soar into the air over the mountaintop.

Don’t cry for her, feel sad for her, or grieve for her. If you’re looking for a lost and lonely child, she is not here. Misunderstood, she may be; a wonder to many, she may be. If you’re looking for perfection, she is not that girl. If you expect to see sophistication or to hear profound eloquence, you will be disappointed. Her past may want to dictate her future, the voices in her head play a broken song, and her name may even mean “bitter” — but she refuses to be that girl.

What kind of girl is she? A simple girl. A blessed girl. She is stronger today for everything she endured. She appreciates the beauty of living life one day at a time. She surrounds herself with those who encourage and genuinely care for her. She clothes herself with a garment of praise, amazed by the wonders of God’s grace.

Sad . . . alone . . . afraid.

Not that girl anymore.

“The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take.” Max Lucado

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Filed under Memoir, survival

Tagged as Faith, hardships, life's journeys, life's lessons, Max Lucado, memoir, overcoming, personal

August 23, 2014 · 9:35 PM

Through My Lens

As I reflect on my vacation this year, I focus on the glitter of the glue in my family. The stuff that makes them glow through difficult circumstances, yet not fall apart. It is the Strength in their sails,
the Laughter through the tears, and the Light in the darkness. The waves may beat on the boat called Life, but their faith in God is the anchor that
keeps them from drifting afar.

Through my lens, I observed how one can remain playful and young at heart, laugh at themselves silly, and enjoy the simple things in life.
Through my lens, I saw how one so small can love so big; remain warm and engaging, lovable without reservations.

Through my lens, I noticed that when the going gets tough, the tough get going! They refuse to sit down, roll over, or give up on life. They know tomorrow is on the horizon, another day for new beginnings.

Through my lens, I observed that age is just a number; it doesn’t mean one ceases to exist, learn, or do.

Through my lens, I got to witness such amazing selfless love. The sacrifices and serving of others: putting themselves last, while thinking of others first.

I heard the cry of their heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Compassion. Thump. Thump. Forgiveness. Thump. Thump. Passion. Thump. Thump. Sincerity. Thump. Thump. Tenacity. Thump. Thump. Love. Thump. Thump. Puerto Rican heritage.

What did I learn in my ten days of vacation? If I can be just one example of what it means to love and to be loved, I’ll overcome what life may throw at me. I’ll face each trial with the certainty that God is still God of the ages and He continues to work on our behalf. No matter what.

Plans don’t always work the way we think they will. Situations may take a turn that differs from what we planned. We aren’t always prepared for the what-ifs. We aren’t perfect. But we are family. And the greatest gift of all is family.

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Filed under familia, family, Vacation

Tagged as Faith, familia, Family, heritage, memories, puerto rican, reflections, strength, tenacity, vacation

Aside

He had a rugged, but kind, short-bearded face

He had a rugged, but kind, short-bearded face with laughing brown eyes and charm that wouldn’t quit. We came from similar marital backgrounds. We each knew what it was like to be in an abusive relationship, encumbered with alcoholic spouses, broken promises, and betrayal. We both shared the same desires, with honesty and trust at the top.

He waltzed away all traces of reservations in my heart. I felt he could be trusted. He treated me with respect. He took my breath away, loving me for me: tenderly, passionately, completely. He even—as they say in the movies—“made my toes curl.” Moreover, as much as he loved me, he loved my four children. And they loved him in return. That was the icing on the cake! There may not have been a lot of money floating around, but in our eyes, he proved himself worthy. We never had to compete for his attention. When his buddies told him that other fish were in the ocean (that didn’t include small guppies), he simply said, “Not like this one.”

When he asked me one day what my goals in life were, I couldn’t answer, turning my face as the tears fell. Burdened by daily matters as a single mom, clouded my vision for tomorrow. After several dates, for the first time in a long time, I found myself thinking about the future and possibly having one with him.

From day one, I loved his adventurous spirit for the outdoors and watching him with my little gang. Whether those outings included dove hunting, camping in tents, air shows, the circus, Disney World, or barbecues at the park, he made them fun and memorable for the children. I was grateful for that.

After my ex deserted us, I had to find a job to earn an income. However, my absence had left the children’s safety net to unravel. One by one, serious issues ensued that needed my undivided attention. I could only do so much. I felt guilt-ridden, like a complete failure.

Being a single mom took its toll; it wasn’t fun. I felt tired of pretending I had it together. My faith had always been the glue in my life, but I had let God down as well. I’ve been too busy, feeling haggard with the hustle and bustle of life, trying to keep our heads above water from the bills that flooded in every month.

“Are you sure you’re ready for the whole package?” I had asked him. Incomplete individuals often seek fulfillment and happiness in others, rather than finding their sense of well-being and self-worth within themselves. I had since learned that my completeness didn’t come from having faith in any man, but in a perfect God who loved me unconditionally, like no other.

With my heart on the line in this new relationship of ours, I wondered what if, down the road, we were abandoned? Deserted again. Forever?

Yet … I loved the one next to me, wanted him by my side, and even believed that God had brought us together and superseded our circumstances. My heart was torn and pounded out of my chest. Would he share my faith?