endurance | Reflections From the Heart

To Quit or Not to Quit

Meltdown. Is what I’m having. You know what I hate besides fear? Weakness. And that’s how I feel. Weak. I just completed my third spinning class, and I feel like crying. Instead of stronger, I’m feeling weaker. While my mind is screaming the entire time, “quit,” I am hurting in an area where it’s downright embarrassing to divulge to a male instructor. And so, I spin on. Fifty minutes is a long time.

My son texted me to give it time. “Just stay consistent,” he says. Don’t quit. In three to four weeks, you’ll start to challenge yourself. Right now, your body is challenging you.”

I sure wish I had done this twenty years ago. Now at fifty-something, I feel foolish trying to keep up with the more youthful and experienced crowd. While I did not quit, I could not keep up. I felt deflated driving home. But then again, no pain, no gain, right?

Cycling classes. I hope to start seeing results instead of feeling as if I’m merely spinning my wheels, if you know what I mean.