I remember first holding you, so tiny in my arms.
Next thing I knew, you turned two, angelic, and quite a charm.
Your silhouette dancing in my dreams before my eyes –
Remembering your joy with my simple lullabies.
I imagine your eyes, your voice, your laughter,
Spending time together, nothing else mattered.
Thinking about you often before crawling into bed at night,
I loved you so much, never wanting you out of my sight.
I wish you could tell me what’s on your mind today?
What are the things you’re longing to say?
Would you have married a wonderful husband?
Live in a castle and have many children?
Oh, if only, if only, I could see you now,
I would run to you, hold you tight, and twirl you around!
Oh, sister, there will always be a hole in my heart,
But I guess I knew that from the start.
If I still had you now to talk, share secrets, laugh, and cry
I would not be here now thinking: Why did you have to die?
Dear Readers:
As we approach the anniversary of my baby sister’s life and death, what I have shared is very dear and personal to my heart. As my eyes mist with tears, I still feel my heart burn heavily from missing her! But please understand that I do NOT “blame” God for my sister’s death! Our God is Sovereign and I believe that He allows certain things to happen to us for His greater plan and purpose. (Isa. 57: 1). After all, His ways are higher than our ways.
Now, I’m not by any means a theologian, a preacher, or a Bible teacher. I’m just a layman, a simple woman of faith, with a finite mind trying to serve an Infinite God. I know that it rains on the just and unjust (Matt. 5:45); bad things do happen to good people.
If I am to be honest, I don’t always understand the mind of God. Howbeit, I purpose in my heart to trust Him! And if I am to be truthful, yes, my heart does have a few unanswered questions. On occasions, in my journey of life, I have meltdowns, wallow in self-pity, and find myself clouded by doubts and fears. However, because of His steadfast love and His unfathomable mercy for me, I thank God that I don’t remain in that state of mind!
You see, I am a work in progress.
In memory of my sister who prematurely passed away 50 years ago by a hit-and-run driver. (To learn more of her story, click here.) She would have been ten years older than my first-born! I had to say goodbye to her when I was nine, just a month after she turned two years old. I remember so much pain and suffering as a child back then. In retrospect, I believe God may have spared her from something worse. I look forward to the Blessed Hope that one day we will embrace one another once again. She will not return to me, but I will go to her one day. And we will NEVER have to be apart.
Reflections From the Heart 
Hoping this scripture brings you comfort…
“The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. And no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For the godly who die will rest in peace.” Isaiah 57:1,2 (NLT – New Living Translation)
Yes indeed! Thanks Anna!
February 15, 2002, my sister Kathy passed away from complications following a heart attack. She was born October 3, 1954, I miss her very much, So, I have lost two sisters. Elois Frances, and Kathryn Elois.
I too have lost siblings, one Elois Frances lived about 12 hours, she was born a month early over 65 years ago but I can still see her lying there in the crib, skin like white porcelain, little fingers with perfect little finger nails,black curls surrounding her little head. perfect little angel.
Mary, that was beautifully written in memory of your dear sister.
Thank you Mary. I am amazed how one event, some 50-years ago, can still pull on my heart strings … my mom doesn’t bring it up unless it’s mentioned to her. Mama did the best she knew to do. Please pray that she learns to forgive herself.
So very sad. She looked adorable. I didn’t realize you must’ve named Anna after your baby sister.
Thank you Deborah. My sister was actually named after my grandma. It was only fitting that I named my first-born after the two Annas dear to my heart.