“I Always Loved You …”

“I always did love you, just had too many problems.”
Ten words on ink and paper.
Handwritten by her.
Pierces my heart.
Quiet pain.

Does she know I exist? Or care? Or want me?
I love her, look up to her; want to be her.
Unspoken. Forsaken.
Isn’t love also a verb?
Hidden shame.

Grandparents notice. Embrace me. Love me.
They say I am worthy and special.
I am not allowed to stay.
Said I might become spoil.
Wounded heart.

I leave home. Searching for Mr. Right.
Run to him at sixteen. Happily ever after.
Young. Naïve. Taken for granted.
Thinks to mold me into his image.
His way or the highway.
Internal screams.

Motherhood. Baby having babies.
Crawl before walking. Stumble. Fall.
Clinging unto a strand, unraveling.
Faded dreams.

Years overlap. Encumbering.
Emotions are numb.
Hubby seeks greener pastures.
Two-timer. Tosses me to the wolves.

Water is not missed until the well is dry.
Alone. They’ve aged. Reaching out.
Across the miles, calling my name.
Vowing eternal devotion.
Hollow words.

Grown children look back.
Open arms. Nostalgic.
Rebuild the fences.
Dying to live.

In times of happiness, embrace your beloved.
In times of calamity, hold them closer.
Love isn’t love until you give it away.
God grants life.
And second chances.


Poem written by Mary A. Pérez


Filed under Love, Valentine's Day

15 responses to ““I Always Loved You …”

  1. This is beautiful, Mary. Raw. Honest. Thought-provoking.

  2. Debbie Reynolds

    I love the heartfelt and (almost) raw emotions!!! 🙂

  3. This is absolutely brilliant and I totally get it (go figure…)! It is raw, it is real and I can sooo relate. It really hit me where I sit right now. Thanks for sharing! I still have to read the book and give the review. Plan to order this afternoon.

  4. Love this poem. I hope it’s in your book…..

  5. So true , sadly so true….. Your gift for writing and expression of feelings are so deeply felt and shared. Wishing you the best always….

  6. The poem definitely fits your book. I can feel this too.

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