Did You Say, “Insecurities”?

So, I’m reading Beth Moore’s, So Long, Insecurity. I’m not even past chapter four yet and find myself re-reading and digesting the words on the pages. She states in her book that we all have insecurities and most have enough insecurity to hinder. As I reflect on whether I’ve felt insecure before, I’m sad to admit that I am well acquainted with insecurity.

Beth Moore ties insecurity to a profound sense of self-doubt. Ouch! But I think I knew this already. How many times have I determined to do something but then reneged on my decision? How often have I started a task only to lack the courage to move forward? My palms get clammy. My confidence deflates. My resolve wavers. My bravado crumbles. I bet I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

I’m a common woman sharing common problems seeking common solutions on a journey with an uncommon Savior.

The word rejection is also mentioned in the book and that brings me to ask: Well, who in the world likes to be rejected? To the point where I sometimes think, if you reject me, I’ll go out of my way to prove you wrong—sometimes—in spite of my own hurt, creating my own misery. I can honestly say, I know my own flaws, or at least I’d like to think so. But the astonishing thing for me is reading what an insecure woman looks like:

She may easily cry, avoid the spotlight, and have a strong desire to make amends whether it’s her fault or not. If someone gets angry at her, she has a difficult time not to think or to dwell about it. The insecure woman sometimes feels anxious for no apparent reason; her feelings get hurt when she learns someone doesn’t like her, and she may even fear that her husband might leave her for another.

Talk about a lack of self-worth!

Well, I asked my husband what insecurities did he see in me? (Because after all, I know I have some.) And this is what he answered: The big one is you not being in control. Not having a say so about something, and having a tendency to micro-manage. He said this goes back to my early years when others told me what to do and when to do it. What an eye opener! While this was true during my childhood, it was certainly the same in my first marriage.

Before I became a Christian I struggled with insecurities, and now as a Christian I still struggle at times. I learned a long time ago I’m not perfect, but I’m forgiven. I’ve opened myself up in sharing some of these truths with you because I know they are life’s lessons. I’m still learning and if there’s a pulse and breath in your being then you are still learning, too. No one on this earth is perfect or has arrived. I’ve determined to work on my insecurities.

How about you?

© M.A. Pérez 2014, All Rights Reserved

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15 Comments

Filed under Beth Moore, insecurities

15 responses to “Did You Say, “Insecurities”?

  1. Mary your post is very honest. I think it is wonderful how self-aware and introspective you are. I can see you are really trying to grow as a person and in Christ. Isn’t it wonderful to have Him to lean on? May he bless your every step you take along His path.

  2. Hi Cuz,
    So my shrink told you all about me! I guess you invoked the Patriot Act LOL
    Most insightful work. Girl u da bomb

  3. Mary, I appreciate your honesty here! Amen! I am working on my own insecurities. I have been for a long time. It seems like the Lord is peeling back layers and uncovering more. Ahh!! 😉 Most of my insecurities stem from a desire to please people, but the Lord is showing me I am to please only Him, not people. Please the Lord, love people. People/relationships have been an idol in my life. That book sounds really good. I’m gonna have to put that on my book list. Thank you for sharing! Blessings!

  4. I used to think I didn’t really have insecurities. In fact, in my younger years my biggest vice was arrogance. However, I’ve come to see that even that arrogance was covering up some deep-seated insecurities. I am working on them, but it’s hard to fully root them out. We live with them for so long, it can be difficult to recognize. I may have to look into this study you’re doing. Keep us posted on whether it continues to be helpful in your walk, yes?

    • As always I appreciate your candidness, Rebeca. It’s good to sit back and take inventory of ourselves, although I don’t like the one I see in the mirror at times! And yes, I will continue to share snippets of insights with you all.

  5. Cathy

    This IS AWESOME…….
    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I’M SO PROUD OF THE GOD IN YOU. I LOVE You❤ MY FRIEND…. GOD BLESS YOU❤ MORE….

  6. I’ve done several Beth Moore video studies in my women’s group at church. She works us hard, but somehow we don’t seem to mind. I did a study over Deuteronomy in person with her a few years back at a huge church. Periodically I heard an unusual noise that I couldn’t identify. I thought it was a heater going on and off somewhere in the church. (This was in February.) During our second session, I realized what I was hearing: the sound of a thousand women paging through their Bibles. How cool is that!?

  7. Janie Urbano

    Excellent article Mary Ann. I think most of us can relate to the subject of insecurities. I so enjoy your articles. Keep up the excellent work you are doing. You are amazing.

    • Thank you, Janie. By the way, the subtitle to Beth Moore’s “So Long Insecurity” is “you’ve been a bad friend to us”. Lol

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