The Shadows of my Baby Sister’s Death

I remember first holding you, so tiny in my arms.
Next thing I knew, you turned two, angelic, and quite the charm.
Your silhouette dances in my dreams before my eyes –
Remembering your joy with my simple lullabies.

I imagine your eyes, your voice, your laughter,
Spending time together, nothing else mattered.
I thought about you often before crawling into bed at night.
I loved you deeply and never wanted you out of my sight.

I wish you could tell me what’s on your mind today?
What are the things you’re longing to say?
Would you have married a wonderful husband?
Live in a castle and have many children?

Oh, if only I could see you now. I would run to you. I would hold you and twirl you around!

Oh, sister, there will always be a hole in my heart,
But I guess, somehow I knew that from the start.

If only I had you to talk to, share secrets with, laugh, and cry
I would not be here thinking: Why? Why did you have to die?

Excerpt, Chapter 2 of Running in Heels: A Memoir of Grit and Grace

Soft, velvety cheeks. A round, rosy nose. Dark hair like mine, but curly. Eyes, blue that sparkled like the ocean I’d seen in storybooks. I kissed her sweet-smelling face. Her soft, pudgy hand with tiny fingers curled inside mine. Anna melted my heart. I won’t be alone anymore. I caressed her cheeks and whispered, “I’ll stay by your side for always.”

Soon left with the responsibility of caring for Anna, I became her substitute mother. I loved her and took care of her as best as a seven-year-old could.

8 Comments

Filed under Loss, poetry

8 responses to “The Shadows of my Baby Sister’s Death

  1. Bruce kendall's avatar Bruce kendall

    So very sad. I too lost a sister (Barbara) and miss her. My heart is with you.

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    • Thank you, Bruce. You know that pain. My baby sister was my companion, my pride and joy! She was a great loss for us! I believe Mama is with her now in heaven.

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  2. Beverly Willems's avatar Beverly Willems

    I am so sorry for the loss of your loving sister. That is an unbearable pain. I am so sorry.

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  3. Beautiful tribute to a little one lost so young. May God send a special sign for you today that will bring joy to your heart.

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  4. Yours is a difficult loss, my friend. Losing a sister, one so young, one you truly loved, is not only a challenge, but a grievous one. Your poem is beautiful.

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