A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to give a presentation at a local women’s shelter on self-esteem. As I have been training to become a certified sexual assault advocate, I was delighted and agreed to speak to the group of ladies and give a one-hour presentation. I titled it, “Phenomenal, Beautiful You.” I gave that presentation today.
Now due to numerous reasons and past experiences, I myself struggle with low self-esteem. I still don’t find certain tasks easy, comfortable, or painless. So, everything that I shared with the ladies today, I was speaking to myself. Sometimes we just need to speak words of affirmation over ourselves! I let those precious ladies know that I am just like them, only now, sitting on the opposite side of the table. However, not without being well acquainted with the struggles that they face. I shared my story, and my insecurities, and spoke on what the definition of insanity is: Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Here is one of the quotes that I printed out on card stocks for each lady to take:
When you change your thinking, you change your belief;
When you change your beliefs, you change you expectations;
When you change your expectations, you change your attitude;
When you change your attitude, you change your behavior;
When you change your behavior, you change your performance;
When you change your performance, you change your life.
This is the kicker to today’s event – today would have been my sister’s birthday, had she not passed away after being struck down by a hit-and-run drive, some 40+ years ago! I was a lonely, neglected child. But when my sister came into the world, from early on I gladly took care of her. Many times it was just the two of us while our parents were gone. But I didn’t mind. It was better doing things together than doing them alone. I promised that I would love and care for her forever. When tragedy struck, she was only two. How do you think this nine-year-old big sister felt at the time? Do you think she struggled with self-esteem, insecurities, and self-doubt for the majority of her life? Yeah, you can say that all right. And I will continue to work on it.
I share my experiences because it is possible to make a difference in this world. Just like my pastor says: If you have a pulse you have a purpose! Today’s message was well received and the hour flew by quickly. Afterward, no one wanted to stop chatting and visiting with me. They felt inspired. In the end, they knew I was one of them.
When I look back on my life, I see pain, mistakes, and heartache. When I look in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons and pride in myself.
© M.A. Pérez 2015, All Rights Reserved
Reflections From the Heart 
Mary your courage is amazing. Even when we rise above, it’s hard to stop the little negative voices in our heads. Good for you being asked to do a visit to empower others. I’m very much like you. I write to empower, I suffered terribly low self-esteem since childhood and as much as I’ve overcome and love to help others, it’s like a tiny part of us hangs on to those memories.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. ❤
Debbie, isn’t it amazing how our memory of one negative deed, word or look can nettle us a lifetime? We just have to shake it off and walk on, and repeat those steps as often as necessary 😉
Wonderful post. I agree..life has many lessons .
Indeed, it does 😀
Beautiful, Mary!
Thanks so much, Mandy! 🙂
Moved beyond words. Your writing never ceases to amaze me!
Hey Linda! I appreciate your encouragement 🙂 Hugs!
Absolutely “on point”…thank you so much for your candor. ❤
Miss Rita, thank you for taking the time to comment 🙂
Wonderful! Thank the Lord for allowing you to share your story.
Parker, you better believe I give God the glory! Although I wasn’t at liberty to express my faith, those there were able to see His light in me and heard me say how it may have been my grit but God’s grace was what got me through!
A very difficult topic, beautifully expressed with much wisdom. I’m very excited that you are doing your training, and speaking to others with similar hurts. Doubts about self-worth only creep in from the evil one; you know what Jesus has to say on this topic 🙂 May He continue to strengthen you in your mission day by day as you do His work where He has “sent” you. I like what your pastor said, “If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.” There is so much value in all you have shared here with us, and presented to those ladies. Thank-you. ❤
The last two lines above your name says it all.
Very sound read and advice 🙂
Excellent post, Mary!! Self admittance is the first step to correction and we all have some admitting to do. You should feel very proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished!!
Regards,
Skipper Strong
Hey Skipper! I appreciate your kind words! I am amazed by this entire journey called life with its many lessons 🙂