1 Corinthians 13:11, which states, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
The boy-man charmer. Peter Pan at 60 isn’t nearly as adorable as at 20.
Ever notice some guys who act like eternal boys—charming, fun, but allergic to responsibility? That’s Peter Pan syndrome in a nutshell: Adult men stuck in Neverland, dodging commitment, chores, or emotional maturity. They want the perks of adulthood (freedom, fun) without the grown-up parts (bills, accountability, sacrifice).
In my family, I have a couple of brothers who fit the Peter Pan syndrome. I love them dearly, but I can’t hang out with them for extended periods of time.
In relationships, it’s toxic. The “Peter” expects you to be Wendy—nurturing, cleaning up messes—while he plays hooky from life. I see echoes in past relationships: All control, zero emotional growth. Red flags? Avoidance of tough talks, financial irresponsibility, blaming others, or bailing when things get real. They unknowingly tend to prioritize personal desires over the needs of others. With the Peter Pans in my past, their main escape was going out with the boys. They often drank excessively.
If you’re in a relationship, ladies, don’t treat a man like a child. Healthy love requires two adults. Encourage growth gently, but set boundaries: “I need a partner, not a project.” Therapy helps Peters fly toward maturity. For us? Choose Tink—sprinkle pixie dust on your own wings and soar solo if needed. Independence isn’t scary; it’s a matter of freedom.
Now, I am not suggesting there’s anything wrong if you are a big kid at heart. I am suggesting embracing the importance of adult responsibilities. Develop self-awareness. If you’re in the trenches, know this: Healing comes. Courage builds. True love respects you first. What’s your fairy tale twist? Share below—I’d love to hear. For more on how fairy tale fantasies can mask emotional dysfunction, read my earlier reflection:
From Heart to Heritage
Reflections From the Heart 
Mary, this is so insightful and honest! I think our culture is making it easier for men to be Peter Pan because we don’t value responsibility and consequences anymore. I love your encouragement to be Tink–a little pixie dust and soar away to a place of health and wholeness. The comment on these guys wanting Wendy’s–very wise, my friend. Maybe your brothers can learn from your example of stability, commitment, and healthy follow-through.
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Thank you, Dayle! Sometimes, relationships, even in family, can be better from a distance 😉
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Very well expressed and brave. I too have been there, “read the book, worn the T shirt, seen the videos and wrote my own screenplay” as we say and suffered in silence all my life. I now write & blog about my experiences as a means of healing and hopefully to help others to heal also but not sure it’s working!? 😢 I’ve considered stopping my writing as it’s attracted more abuse, innuendos and unsavoury comments! The Peter Pan men come flying out of the woodwork and think because we were mistreated and put up with it, they have the right to disrespect and use us even more. They believe that’s all we’re worth and that attitude sticks like a bee to honey and it sure still stings! I’m pleased you found the courage to leave, to respect and honour yourself and in doing so, found true love and happiness. Thank you for sharing
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🤠
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Oh, hi Lit’l Brother.
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